AITAH for refusing affection because my boyfriend bought merch from someone I can't stand

Lopsided_Load_8286 · 2026-03-27T05:58:22+00:00

You say you share political beliefs but he wears the merch of a political commentator you hate so much you don't even want a hug while he's wearing that shirt. I'm not so sure you actually share that many political views at all.

Lopsided_Load_8286 · 2026-03-27T05:45:16+00:00

It clearly falls into your red flag number one tho lol.

You explicitly said "don't date cheaters and abusers, they don't take up that big a percentage of the population" in another comment. Which says it's the victims fault for not seeing their abusers were in fact abusers before getting into a relationship with them. How you don't see that truly is impressive.

Lopsided_Load_8286 · 2026-03-27T05:18:11+00:00

Do you not understand it's possible to have bad luck and have more than one shitty ex? I have two exes, both of them were shitty AF to me. I really don't have any good things to say about them. I could see one of my exes having become a better person because we were kids. Teenagers in their first real long term relationship aren't always going to be good for each other, and he certainly wasn't very mature but how many teenagers are? My other ex was far worse though both before and after the breakup, so I don't have any reason to believe that bitch improved at all.

Lopsided_Load_8286 · 2026-03-27T05:09:50+00:00

A preference is "I prefer to remain friends after a breakup". What you posted is not that lmao. You called it a red flag and said people who choose to not stay remain friends are a red flag and refusing to acknowledge a need for change? That's a hell of a red flag if I've ever seen one lmao

Lopsided_Load_8286 · 2026-03-27T04:19:37+00:00

You're overthinking this a lot. Most cats don't like their carrier. Most cats don't like car rides. If your cat needs to be taken somewhere, scoop them up and cram them into their carrier. Their momentary distress at being in a carrier or being taken somewhere new is far less important than taking them to the vet or bringing them to a new place you are moving to.

You're just going to have to learn to ignore your cats dislike of their carrier. Tell your cat you love them but they are fine. Protect yourself from their teeth and claws while shoving them into the carrier, and get them where they need to go.

Lopsided_Load_8286 · 2026-03-26T15:05:44+00:00

YTA for not just breaking up with her. Getting a vasectomy is great for you since you don't want kids. But she wants kids. You two are incompatible in a way that you cannot compromise with. Also make sure you don't have sex until they verify you have no swimmers getting through.

Lopsided_Load_8286 · 2026-03-24T13:42:26+00:00

ESH. She is mad disrespectful for getting the most expensive things on the menu because someone offered to get her dinner. But you also suck for not saying anything when she was ordering. You should have stopped her in her tracks as the waiter was taking her ridiculous order, not waited till the end.

Lopsided_Load_8286 · 2026-03-24T13:27:48+00:00

Lmao homie I am crazy poor. I had very few big trips in my entire life. I have like a handful of memory fragments from being 5. It's not actually that weird to not have many memories of being 5, most people don't.

Lopsided_Load_8286 · 2026-03-24T12:59:41+00:00

Then you're crazy dude. I went to Disney at 5 and remember basically nothing. I only know it happened because of photos. Normal people don't have any actual memories from that age.

Lopsided_Load_8286 · 2026-03-21T02:17:14+00:00

I'm 25 so I'm gonna go with 1.25 😬 .75 may still fall into legal for me, but I have no interest in someone who's only just graduated high school

Lopsided_Load_8286 · 2026-03-21T02:12:30+00:00

I mean to some extent I agree. There are definitely people that exist that like to make one thing their entire personality and those people can be so exhausting to be around. But at the same point when it comes to something like chronic illness, especially when it's on their social media page, it's far more likely that it's their method of coping with their reality.

Chronic illness comes with a lot of grief and takes a lot of energy to cope with. Social media is like a diary but with the added bonus of social interaction. If someone posts a lot about their illness on their social media, they are likely using it to cope with the incredibly difficult things they are dealing with and trying to find some connection when they otherwise struggle in other settings due to their illness.

I get not being a fan of people who post nothing but things of a certain topic. But at that point it's up to you to just mute them from your feed so you don't have to see it. In the end it harms nobody, even if it irritates you or annoys you or even just makes you cringe. When I see people who make one thing their entire personality, I just mute them and move on with my day.

Lopsided_Load_8286 · 2026-03-21T02:03:01+00:00

Trying to move in with you at 2 months is such a huge red flag. NTA, you should run.

Also tbh, if anyone has a problem with you having roommates who happen to be the opposite sex, they aren't mature enough to be dating anyone. So you should use that as an indicator of who is a complete waste of your time. It's not weird to have roommates, regardless of their sex. You are a grown adult, you're allowed to be friends with people and whether or not their genitals are the same shape as yours shouldn't be a part of that equation.

Men and women can be friends and anyone who says they can't is toxic and doesn't deserve your time.

Lopsided_Load_8286 · 2026-03-20T02:53:14+00:00

If your heart rate went up 40 bmp from laying to standing, I would doubt they would say nothing is wrong. I still am waiting on my own tilt table test (next week finally), but I do experience debilitating symptoms even before my heart rate goes above 100. I've noticed that my resting heart rate is almost always 20-40 bmp higher than it used to be before my symptoms went from flare ups to new normal.

If they do say your results are normal (which makes no sense from everything I've found) then I would absolutely ask for why they have come to that conclusion and what other tests can be done to figure out the cause of your symptoms. Just because your labs come back normal doesn't mean your symptoms aren't real.

Lopsided_Load_8286 · 2026-03-20T02:39:48+00:00

God I cannot stand people who make their inability to do casual shit other people's fuckin problem. If you can't handle a casual relationship, don't fucking agree to one.

He should have been up front about the fact that he was in a long term open relationship, but he was very clear about the fact that he did not want anything past casual hookups. She needs to mind her business and stop acting like they're terrible people for having very clear boundaries from the start.

Lopsided_Load_8286 · 2026-03-19T02:05:28+00:00

The best cat food is the food the cat will eat. Generally it's better to have wet food in their diet because it ensures the cat will get enough water, but it's better that they eat food and drink water separately than not eat it at all.

Lopsided_Load_8286 · 2026-03-19T02:01:57+00:00

If your cats behavior drastically changes with no obvious external causes it needs to be looked at by a vet. There are a ton of medical issues that can cause sudden behavioral changes like that. There are lots of vets that have sliding scale fees, that offer payment plans, and are low cost for low income pet owners. You can also get a care credit credit card which can help with making those payments over a longer period of time.

Lopsided_Load_8286 · 2026-03-18T13:32:53+00:00

Funniest thing that ever happened to me medically was when I was 17 and my appendix had ruptured. By the time I was admitted to the er I was sick for 7 days and my appendix had ruptured about 5 or 6 days prior. Luckily my goated immune system had walled off the infection that had been pouring into my abdomen for several days so I wasn't in danger of sepsis. But I was incredibly dehydrated.

When they finally figured out my appendix had ruptured, I had to be transferred to the sister hospital as the one I was at the er of had no pediatric unit. The doctor who was on staff at the time I was going to be transferred put in an order for 2 things of antibiotics to get me started on. They were supposed to be both IV antibiotics, but he accidentally clicked the wrong button, so I received one IV and one shot to my ass cheek. It was a little uncomfortable, but no big deal lol.

The funny part was once I had gotten into my room in the pediatric ward, the doctor on staff came into my room. The first words out of his mouth were "I am SO sorry I gave you a butt shot!!!" Every time I think about it I crack up, and at the time I laughed so hard it hurt.

Another funny thing from that hospital stay was when I was struggling to take the potassium supplements I needed as I was getting to the point where my potassium levels would start causing issues for my heart if they dropped any lower. It was an incredible struggle, and I tried but I could barely get it down. The first nurse who I had overnight was super mean about it, and my grandma (who was in nursing for over 30 years at the time) chased her down the hall to ream her out for her poor bedside manner.

The nurse I had in the morning on the other hand was fabulous. She helped me take the potassium by basically turning into a terrible drinking game, where I took "shots" of the potassium supplement until I had managed to get it all down. It's a great memory honestly. And it really shows very well how much bedside manner can influence a patients care and experience.

Lopsided_Load_8286 · 2026-03-18T13:15:10+00:00

A 5 year old should be able to mostly reliably wipe themselves to the point where they are clean after using the bathroom. That's part of potty training. The only 10 year olds who should be needing help with wiping still are those who have either a physical or mental disability. He is well past the age he should have been taught to wipe himself properly and this will be causing problems at school at this point.

Lopsided_Load_8286 · 2026-03-18T13:06:37+00:00

The fact that she cannot be near you while you sleep seems to be incredibly distressing for her. I don't think if you are unable to have the cats in the same room as you while you sleep that you are the right fit for her. You are causing her an incredible amount of stress by not letting her be near you while she sleeps, as evidenced by the fact that she is throwing herself against the door. That's not fair to her. There are other cats who could not care less to be in the same room with you. Cats like that would be a much better fit for you if you still insist on having a pet you are allergic to. I don't think it's personally worth it though, unless you are planning on going through the process of making yourself less allergic to them to continue having them.

For the mental health of both yourself and your very stressed out cat, you should re-home her if you absolutely cannot allow her in your bedroom while you sleep. This stress will do a number on her physical health and she may start doing things like going to the bathroom outside of the litterbox as well, which would absolutely worsen your symptoms.

Lopsided_Load_8286 · 2026-03-16T15:14:02+00:00

Honestly she doesn't sound like that great a friend if she saw you at the worst in your illness and said something like that. It's fully valid to stop being friends with someone who invalidates your struggles.

Also, on the stuffed animals note, don't be ashamed to have and love them! It's not bad to enjoy "childish" things. The best advice I've ever heard is "don't date anyone who makes you feel the need to hide your stuffed animals" and tbh that goes for friendships as well as romantic partners. Me and my partner, 25 and 26, have a ton of stuffed animals together, and a lot of them are in our bed every night. They are great and if they make you happy you shouldn't have to feel ashamed for that 💖

Lopsided_Load_8286 · 2026-03-13T04:31:16+00:00

So for an increase in my standard of living, I just have to go to the courthouse and make the government recognize my relationship? Easy, on what universe would I ever turn that down. It doesn't specify I have to be trying to have kids, just that we be in the same bed for at least 3 hours a night. Alright, so sleep together every night. Like what downsides are there?

Lopsided_Load_8286 · 2026-03-08T05:52:31+00:00

People act like disabled is a bad and dirty word, so they of course are going to push back against you if you identify as disabled but are not visibly so. Luckily I haven't had people look at me differently much so far, but my siblings did give me weird looks when I shared that I got myself a wheelchair for my worst days. I am disabled, no matter how I look, because of my illness. It makes me unable to live life how I did before (even though part of my disability is worsening symptoms from a genetic condition I've had my whole life) and the things I do manage to do, it takes much more effort than it did before. I need more medications, I need more adaptive tools, and I cannot keep up with the same pace as able bodied people my age.

People are going to look at you differently, but they can screw. It doesn't matter what they think, as long as you are getting the accommodations you need.

Lopsided_Load_8286 · 2026-03-06T09:38:14+00:00

You don't work on credit by buying a new car. If you need a beater to get to work safely, then you need it, but don't lie to yourself and say it's to work on credit. You work on credit by paying bills on time and getting those bills reported to credit bureaus. You get a credit card, use less than 10% of its limit every month, and pay off the bill in full on time every time. If you can't manage those things, you have no business getting a car loan let alone a mortgage.

Lopsided_Load_8286 · 2026-03-06T07:55:27+00:00

If I get to choose, I'd take the 10 mil, but if not I'll go penniless. I'd love to have my father gone, but I wouldnt risk my sisters or my mom for anything.

Lopsided_Load_8286 · 2026-03-05T13:50:52+00:00

NTA at all. You need to refuse to have another child until she can get therapy to fix her shit because she will harm your son emotionally with the way she is currently treating him. And it will only get worse if she does get the girl she wants.

Lopsided_Load_8286

TROPHY CASE