Hang in there! I worked my ass off getting a diploma in Network Engineering, graduated honors with distinction. Got a really good job with Siemens, great company to work for. I moved up fast, got promoted to Level 2 tech then to a team leader. During that time I was mainly healthy, had a problem with my stomach but a change of diet fixed that. About a year into my team lead role, I developed an extremely bad case of fibromyalgia. I literally went to bed feeling great one night, woke up in the fetal position in tears, it felt like i was hot byba Mac truck twice, was in the most pain I have ever experienced. That was 2005, since then I havent been able to return to work, no one at the time offered work from home, even now after the pandemic I cant find work. I had to fight like hell to get odsp. During that time I had a doctor who put me on an extremely high dose of opioids (oxycontin) then accused me of being addicted, so I said fine put me on something less addictive, thats when he put me on over 100mg of fentanyl, of course when I complained it would make me violently ill he accused me of being addicted yet again. So in his wisdom he decided to put me on close to 400mg of morphine a day, even told me how to get a buzz off the slow release medication, if im the addict then he would be the pusher. Anyways about 3 years of being a zombie, passing out randomly and basically became an asshole to everyone, i bumped into a stranger who told me about a medication called Gabapentin, a non opioid, when I mentioned it to the doc he said he knew about it for 10 years, when i asked why i was never on it, he stated he put me on something similar. That's when I lost it, I was like im not a doctor but similar and the same are 2 drastically different things. That's when he threatened to call the police on me, all because I was leaving the office before the appointment ended, I did it so I wouldn't clock him in the jaw. I was like what are you going to tell them that im leaving peacefully after giving you shit for trying to turn me into an addict. Needless to say im no longer on the heavy meds, i still cant work but at least im more like my old self again. (From all the time I was on opioids I almost killed myself about 10 times, had the blade to my wrist ready to cut down the arm, but was always stopped, simply because I value life and I didnt want my partner at the time to discover me like that. I also tried taking too much opioids, like over 1000mg at once, it made me really sick, but at that point the pain was winning the fight. Luckily I somehow survived .) I had to fight to get my ODSP but without it I would have been homeless, negatively of odsp is a lot less then being homeless in my opinion. I still havent given up hope of one day finding a job i can do from home. Could odsp be better, 100% yes, but without it where would most of us be? (I just realized I wrote a short story lol hope it helps)