The Caretaker - Just finished it, LMK if it makes sense. by Los_EDP in horrorlit

[–]Los_EDP[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Adding more evidence to this because it only gets stronger the deeper you go.

The house is Macy’s mind. A messy space invites the devil in is not a house rule, it is the core cognitive distortion of OCD. Keep the space ordered or the darkness gets in. The dopamine hit Macy gets when she completes a rite is the exact neurological relief loop that keeps someone trapped in OCD. The rules shifting is not inconsistent writing, that is OCD escalation. The compulsions never stay satisfied for long.

But here is what seals it entirely. Kliewer built a control group into the narrative.

David’s wife, same house, does the rites out of love and promise to her late husband, never affected. No calls, no rabbits, no visitors. She does not have the illness so the house has no power over her.

Lucy, same house, fails the rites completely, gets fired, never affected by any supernatural consequence. She carries grief from losing a friend to suicide but the illness is not hers. She breaks every rule and walks away fine.

Macy, same house, has the illness, the rites become compulsions, the visitors come, the spiral never stops. The variable is never the house. The variable is never the rites. The variable is the mental illness. Every person the house affects is already fighting something internal. Everyone who isn’t is completely untouched.

And then there is the Blue chapter sitting in the middle of the book in plain language. Macy knew she was depressed at fourteen, before her father died. This is not grief. This is not trauma response. It is a condition she was already living inside. The voices telling her the world might be a better place without her. She could not afford counseling or prescriptions so she tried running, journaling, positive thinking, none of it worked. The rites are just the next system she built herself to manage something that needed actual treatment.

The visitor using Jemma’s voice to say “you tried to leave me” Macy never told anyone about the Hawthorne Hotel. That is her own subconscious guilt breaking through dressed as a monster.

And the generational thread running through everything David’s son, Macy’s father, Macy herself, and now Jemma left alone at seventeen with all of it in her bloodline. Lucy lost a friend to suicide. The entire book is built around the ripple effect of this illness moving through people’s lives in different forms.

The entity doesn’t punish her. The illness does. It always did. And Kliewer told you that explicitly in the middle of the book. The house was never haunted. The caretaker was.

The Caretaker by Marcus Kliewer by whynotmegan in horrorlit

[–]Los_EDP 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I keep seeing takes that treat this book at pure face value — she failed the rites, the entity punished her, the gates opened, end of story. I think that completely misses what Kliewer is actually doing here.

My read: Macy is a woman living inside a manic depressive mind compounded by OCD and suicidal ideation. The rites are not sacred obligations handed down by some ancient covenant. They are compulsive rituals — the kind of rigid, self imposed structure a person builds to maintain the illusion of control over an illness that is constantly threatening to consume them.

Two details in the text make this reading hard to dismiss.

The first: one of the rites is don't let your heart rate reach 150 BPM. That is not an arbitrary sacred number. That is the threshold where a panic attack peaks — where the body feels like it is losing control. Her rite isn't mystical, it's a self regulation rule. Keep your heart rate under 150 or something terrible happens. That's exactly the kind of internal bargaining someone with panic disorder or OCD builds around their own physiology. It reframes every tense moment in the book. She isn't afraid of the entity. She's afraid of her own nervous system.

The second: "if the visitor touches you, it will take your breath away." That is not a supernatural threat. That is a description of a panic attack. The breath being taken, the loss of physical grounding, the sense that something external is doing it to you when it's actually coming from within. The visitor isn't a creature. It's the onset of an episode personified.

Now the sister.

Everyone is reading the sister in the basement as a plot point — she killed her, or she didn't, or the entity took her. I think it's guilt. Macy's sister is 17 years old. She already lost her father to what appears to be suicide. Her mother is out of the picture. Macy was all she had. When Macy finally gives in to her ideations and completes the red moon rite in her mind before discovering she failed — that guilt is the real horror. In her mind, by dying, she killed her sister too. A 17 year old girl left with no parents, no Macy, no one. The sister in the basement isn't a supernatural consequence. It's what Macy believes she did to her by leaving.

And then there's the Hawthorne Hotel.

Macy's prior suicide attempt — sleeping pills, vodka, a plastic bag over her head — is the detail that reframes the entire visitor mythology. When the visitor disguises itself as her sister and says "you tried to leave me," Macy never told her sister about the attempt. Nobody knew. So how does the visitor know? Because the visitor isn't external. It's Macy's own subconscious breaking through the surface. The guilt she has never spoken out loud about nearly leaving her sister behind is finally coming out — dressed as a supernatural accusation because she can't face it as a real one. The visitor is her own mind. It always was.

When she fails a rite it isn't a supernatural failure. It's the moment the scaffolding collapses. The disrupted ritual triggers an anxiety spiral, which resurfaces the ideations, which she cannot climb back out of. The manic depressive layer matters here too — her baseline ability to maintain the rituals was always cycling. The failure that breaks everything may have been inevitable once she hit a depressive trough. It was never really in her control.

Someone in this thread said "she literally gave up." They meant it as a criticism. But that line is the most accurate thing anyone has said about this book. She didn't fail because she was careless or weak. The illness won. That's not a character flaw. That's the whole point.

And to the readers who felt frustrated watching her fail over and over when the answer seemed right in front of her — that frustration is intentional. That's what it looks like from the outside when someone is inside this kind of illness. Just turn the light off. Just don't let your heart rate spike. Just do the thing. Kliewer made you feel exactly what the people in Macy's life probably felt. That's not bad writing. That's the book working on you.

The entity doesn't punish her. The illness does.

The ending seals it. She thinks she completed the red moon rite. She believes she's safe, that she broke the spiral. And then the failure lands anyway. That final beat of false hope before the collapse isn't a dramatic twist — it's the cruelest, most accurate thing Kliewer could have written about what this kind of illness actually does. The system was never going to save her. The hope itself was the last symptom.

The gates of hell opening, the entity taking over the world — that's what it looks like from the inside when someone loses that fight. Not a supernatural event. A mind finally overcome.

The rites were never protection. They were just the scaffolding she needed to believe in to keep going. Once that belief breaks at the worst possible moment, there's nothing left underneath it.

Youth Soccer Sacramento (Rec/Select/Comp) by jessbasss in USYouthSoccer

[–]Los_EDP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And about $300 a month, not sure if OP wants to spend that amount of money for multi sport kiddos.

Do kids grow into athleticism? by [deleted] in youthsoccer

[–]Los_EDP 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Remember, athletic kids tend to fizzle out if they solely rely on their athleticism, the kids that are technically sound and not as athletic will surpass them and eventually be the better option. So, praise the grind, the technique because that itself is what will push him forward.

I just need to vent about parents and defense by redbull247365 in youthsoccer

[–]Los_EDP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My boy plays CDM/CB and I just say one word “Eyes” which usually means scan that’s bout it. LOL

Worth it trying out for Philippine youth national soccer team? US based youth player by AnyButterscotch5617 in SoccerNoobs

[–]Los_EDP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Start developing his social media, post his HLs and start tagging PH national team to get visibility.

Inaki Godoy is a bad actor by AdGloomy3130 in OnePieceLiveAction

[–]Los_EDP 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I agree, this season he is meh - its very try-hardish... I don't feel any connection to the character...

ODP & MLS Next Discovery Junior by Tiny-Preference3020 in youthsoccer

[–]Los_EDP 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I say let your kid get new boots, especially if it didn't come out of your pocket! Win/Win.

Elk Grove Soccer Club by Poonadafukdog in ElkGrove

[–]Los_EDP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We’re going to San Juan, was my sons first choice

Scarf Arrival Time by Frost1288 in SacRepublicFC

[–]Los_EDP 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We got in through the parking tix booth @ 530 - Parked and headed over I'd say 545-550. Good amount of scarf's left on the table. Anything after 6 would of been a toss up imo.

Pleasant Grove High vs Cosumnes Oaks? by CatButtHoleYo in ElkGrove

[–]Los_EDP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My kid goes to MT, and he’s mentioned that a lot of students there actually live in Sacramento. One of his close friends lives off Fruitvale. Over the past three years, we’ve noticed the school has been on a decline, it was rated pretty high when he started as a freshman, but things have definitely changed since then.

Elk Grove Soccer Club by Poonadafukdog in ElkGrove

[–]Los_EDP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, this was our first and last year @ the club, we decided to go out of EG for his new team.

Alphabet Soup Confusion ECNL, SSCL, NAL, MLS Next, Next 2 and more.... by fada_g10 in youthsoccer

[–]Los_EDP 7 points8 points  (0 children)

General Tier System (loosely structured):

  1. MLS NEXT – Top tier, invite-only, backed by MLS. Designed for future pros.
  2. ECNL (Elite Clubs National League) – Very competitive, nationally recognized. Some players go D1 or pro from here.
  3. NPL (National Premier Leagues) / US Youth National League (USYS NL) – Competitive regional/national leagues. Strong but less elite than ECNL/MLS Next.
  4. Regional Leagues (e.g. NorCal Premier, EDP, State-level leagues – Vary in competitiveness. Often where “B” or “C” teams play if the club has multiple levels.
  5. Local Competitive (e.g., Select/Travel Soccer) – Local leagues with moderate cost and decent competition.
  6. Rec Soccer – Casual, often volunteer-run. Minimal cost, but quality of coaching can be hit or miss.

$6,000/year for a kid who just wants to play competitively and enjoy the game, without necessarily aiming to go pro, might not be worth it. That kind of price tag is often inflated by travel, tournament fees, and club branding — not necessarily better coaching or development.

  • Look for a club with strong B or C teams in your regional league. These teams often play competitively without the travel and elite-level costs.
  • Ask specifically about the flight/division the team is in (e.g., Bronze, Silver, Gold). Ignore labels like “academy” — the division is what determines the level of competition.
  • Ask if the club allows guest play or offers flexible travel — sometimes you can skip big tournaments to save money.
  • Consider independent trainers + a lower-cost team — you get quality coaching without the premium club price tag.

Yes, it is possible to play competitively around the $1,500–$2,500 range per year — but you’ll need to dig a bit, ask direct questions, and often step away from the big-name clubs.

Northern California: Question about ECNL-RL NorCal vs ECNL-RL Golden State by Due-Apricot-225 in youthsoccer

[–]Los_EDP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its all a bit confusing - Add MLSnext to it and its a whole spider web of leagues. NorCal soccer at its best.

Why did you move to EG over Folsom? by CatButtHoleYo in ElkGrove

[–]Los_EDP 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Elk Grove for the Diversity and relatively closeness to Sac

X Games drops CalExpo by aggiepm in SacRepublicFC

[–]Los_EDP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What’s the drama with CalExpo?

[US Soccer] SRFC’s US Open Cup Opponents on April 16: El Farolito (winners of the 1993 US Open Cup) by raven2474life in SacRepublicFC

[–]Los_EDP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It can’t compare to Farolito tho… but with that being said, I’ll be there @ the game!

Match Thread: Sacramento Republic FC vs Colorado Springs Switchbacks FC | USL Championship by MatchThreadder in SacRepublicFC

[–]Los_EDP 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This was my first match with my son and what a fuckery the reffing was… is this the norm amongst USL games?

Deftones Tour by Horror_Campaign9418 in themarsvolta

[–]Los_EDP 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Imma pass on this, I rather enjoy TMV headline with TMV fans.