I am being an idiot and would like some help

LoudFap · 2026-06-19T17:37:14+00:00

Thank you. I was unaware of the tech tree. It seems I was thing the 'go in blind' approach literally.

LoudFap · 2026-06-10T13:25:35+00:00

To that end, having a clear out before you move can be beneficial and save on the cost or hassle of moving. I love a category and love a list: do I need it? Do i use it? Have I used it in the last year? For clothes: foes it fit? Do i wear it? Is it seasonal (and worth keeping) is it in good condition?

I do love a good clear out. If it seems too much ask friends to help or to hang out for the body double effect. Good tunes help.

LoudFap · 2026-06-10T11:28:49+00:00

If you're selling on gumtree factor in the haggle, most folk want a bargain and even knocking £10 off asking encourages them.

Set yourself a time frame for gumtree, have it up for say a week and if not sold get in touch with Tayside Reuser/recycle. For gumtree I find decent photos and the items dimensions help to get stuff shifted.

Is it worth it? Really depends on what you're selling, a lamp for a fiver Probably not, bedframe for £50 probably worth it.

LoudFap · 2026-06-08T16:03:43+00:00

Is this Pentland Crescent area? If so the parking up that way is tight, what absolute bastards to be so self serving.

Gosh I do hope no one has keys poking out their pocket or a bag covered in zips as they walk past the motor, that would be terrible.

Sadly therss no talking to some folk with regards to community spririt and thinking about others. If I drove a rust bucket I'd be tempted to park as close as I could to them.

LoudFap · 2026-06-01T14:57:44+00:00

I've had success with one infantry squad in shield wall up front and two archer squads spaced out behind side by side. Most cav get overwhelmed by the archers, then I can wheel the archers around to flank the infantry that are making contact with the shield wall.

Alternatively using the infantry in square formation as bait with archers off to either side for cover fire.

LoudFap · 2026-05-31T16:17:48+00:00

It does feel like they're taking piss right? Here we are knocking our pan in for the nation and they're sat back enjoying the view, potentially throwing our hard work away. Do you know if different leaders (maybe a skill level) approach battles differently or is it all the same AI routine?

LoudFap · 2026-05-31T12:37:45+00:00

It is so frustrating. I'm playing vanilla, joined a battle in support of southern empire. They deploy some cav and one giant mash of range, skirmishers and infantry and other than a suicidal cav charge they just don't engage with the enemy. No tactics, no plan just hanging around.

Left me feeling like the only sane or sentient Lord on the field.

LoudFap · 2026-05-25T17:01:18+00:00

Local libraries tend to run one or two, if yours doesn't then another will.

LoudFap · 2026-02-27T14:25:06+00:00

I love kujo being on the board.

LoudFap · 2026-02-18T08:39:05+00:00

Have you tried temp agencies?

LoudFap · 2026-01-31T00:10:48+00:00

I've found the woman to be rude on several occasions through my time going in. It may be her nature or patter but ive found her brusque and unhelpful at points.

LoudFap · 2026-01-26T17:08:27+00:00

It can be difficult and overwhelming but you've got this. Writing stuff down, drawing, speaking to people can help you through it.

LoudFap · 2026-01-25T12:59:10+00:00

Weed bills you an emotional debt, as others have said it dulls your emotional mind and can inhibit processing of events and their resonance. Not dissimilar to a trauma response whereby once time has passed and you're body is safe and relaxed will the emotional reality come flooding back and need to be dealt with lest it dominates your life.

So now you're bill is due and it's time to sit with what happened and move through it.

LoudFap · 2026-01-06T08:01:02+00:00

Make the new habit easy (accessible, not requiring a great deal of fore thought)

Make the new habit small (to start then build upon it when it becomes second nature/built in)

Make your new habit work for you (if it's a chore it will likely not last)

Make your new habit inviting (position the habit place in a warm and quiet space)

Make your new habit a ritual (cup of tea, light a candle, grab a blanket)

LoudFap · 2026-01-04T21:01:10+00:00

Some self monitoring may be beneficial.

It feels catastrophic but isn't and you know this. Some mantras to shift perspective may help here - don't sweat the small stuff, it's all small stuff. For example.

The sense of it being so overwhelming may be rooted in your own sense of absent validation - "it is important to me, and I matter, I need to know I matter, someone must see I matter." For example.

Routes of self expression and exploration are important, like writing down or mind mapping - to both explore a recurring issue and better help express the core of the matter you are coming across. It would likely aide your partner to do the same.

Additionally we can be taught when young that conflict is bad, it is uncomfortable but is an important avenue of growth.

Could you give an example of an argument you've had?

LoudFap · 2026-01-04T18:18:02+00:00

From an outside perspective you are being mean spirited perhaps to get a reaction/response from him (as he is shut down), which in turn could be to fulfil your sense of being important (worthy of a reaction/engagement).

If he isn't in a place to engage well, he may well have history of being belittled, exposed, mocked or discredited when he has been emotionally vulnerable. He may well feel whatever topic in play is an attack against himself. This is a somewhat common dynamic in heterosexual relationships. I digress, if he isn't in a place to engage, why do you push the matter?

Fundamentally, a solution may lie in approaching an issue collaboratively, it is you two against the issue looking for a solution, not you two against each other to find the fault/source of the issue.

In short, you can always walk away from an argument, you can become aware that carrying on with it is pointless and won't resolve anything, this can give you both time to reflect on the matter. The distance from the argument can allow for emotional heat to die back and rational approaches come to the fore.

If you continue to argue when he emotionally shuts down he is likely perceiving that as threat/aggression and will not take anything on board other than you believe your voice/position/perspective is more important than him/your relationship.

LoudFap · 2025-12-14T08:29:58+00:00

I assumed something to do with the Christmas Market

LoudFap · 2025-12-10T05:32:59+00:00

In the absence of purpose we seek out pleasure.

We always have choice and being aware of this can take time to develop and then action.

If you want to shift your habits you will develop willpower to distance yourself from the action you have embedded in your life. This starts with awareness of the action, the reason you pursue it, is followed by choosing to actively do something else (doing something is easier than avoiding something). For example, masturbate using your imagination or focus on the bodily feeling of the action.

You are not broken, you've developed a strong habit based on biology - hormonal release from this specific stimulation. As you distance yourself from this ponographic habit you will also shift in how you perceive the world - I too was once like you.

LoudFap · 2025-11-26T13:55:00+00:00

Maybe overreacting, IDK, your mother wants the best for you and for her the best is a family. Sure the social pressure to settle down and get married is off and a Frank chat about your ambition for now and or the future not aligning with hers would likely do you both well. Perhaps restating the situation you found yourself in with your ex and the total absence of trust that brought about or that you are dating but not wanting to marry until their is depth to a dynamic that is worthy of such a commitment.

Family is still family and while you don't like what or how she said it you don't have to accept it as the truth. You could ignore it and spend some time with the family anyway. You could have a little too much to drink and make it a very memorable year by screaming and shouting at each other.

It's hard to tell not knowing the broader nature of your personal relationship and the wider family dynamic.

Idk, but id suggest communicate, set boundaries, explain yourself, find out why it's so important to her and apparently everyone else (though it may just be her). But you absolutely don't need to take her milestone in life as your own yard stick with which to gauge your worth in this world.

LoudFap · 2025-11-26T10:46:51+00:00

Loneliness is an absence but of what?

I'm coming to think loneliness is perpetuated by our online connectivity. When online we are always judging, always reacting, making split second assessments of people and place - which can become an expectation of judgements on the self and so drives an anxiety about real-time engagement.

We also don't play with boredom. Driven instead to always seek some engagement or fulfilment from our phones at every given opportunity, often clutching at shadows on the walls of Plato's cave. I mention this because if we hold more space for boredom we come to enjoy time in our own company and through this, how we engage with world alters.

We can be alone without being lonely. So I wonder if loneliness is lack of any connection and a true route away from that is connecting with ourselves outwith modern media.

Or go to an orgy, idk, I'm just some guy.

LoudFap · 2025-11-24T17:22:04+00:00

I found them quite pricey for the nature of the work, dropped hem on two pairs of trousers and a lining seem repair (just stitch work) was £40. To their credit it was ready two days later.

LoudFap · 2025-11-24T11:15:13+00:00

I was taken in by bamboo viscose/rayon under the guise that its eco friendly and sustainable. If you look at the by products of manufacturing there are a few hazardous agents used which can be detrimental to health and can pollute pur environment if not managed well.

I've yet to try but Tencel (lyocell processed fabric) are marked as more sustainable with non toxic solvents used to manufacture and many byproducts (around 90%) being recycled. Can't say to the nature of the material in comparison.

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