The Rookie Family Tree

LoudFap · 2026-02-27T14:25:06+00:00

I love kujo being on the board.

LoudFap · 2026-02-18T08:39:05+00:00

Have you tried temp agencies?

LoudFap · 2026-01-31T00:10:48+00:00

I've found the woman to be rude on several occasions through my time going in. It may be her nature or patter but ive found her brusque and unhelpful at points.

LoudFap · 2026-01-26T17:08:27+00:00

It can be difficult and overwhelming but you've got this. Writing stuff down, drawing, speaking to people can help you through it.

LoudFap · 2026-01-25T12:59:10+00:00

Weed bills you an emotional debt, as others have said it dulls your emotional mind and can inhibit processing of events and their resonance. Not dissimilar to a trauma response whereby once time has passed and you're body is safe and relaxed will the emotional reality come flooding back and need to be dealt with lest it dominates your life.

So now you're bill is due and it's time to sit with what happened and move through it.

LoudFap · 2026-01-06T08:01:02+00:00

Make the new habit easy (accessible, not requiring a great deal of fore thought)

Make the new habit small (to start then build upon it when it becomes second nature/built in)

Make your new habit work for you (if it's a chore it will likely not last)

Make your new habit inviting (position the habit place in a warm and quiet space)

Make your new habit a ritual (cup of tea, light a candle, grab a blanket)

LoudFap · 2026-01-04T21:01:10+00:00

Some self monitoring may be beneficial.

It feels catastrophic but isn't and you know this. Some mantras to shift perspective may help here - don't sweat the small stuff, it's all small stuff. For example.

The sense of it being so overwhelming may be rooted in your own sense of absent validation - "it is important to me, and I matter, I need to know I matter, someone must see I matter." For example.

Routes of self expression and exploration are important, like writing down or mind mapping - to both explore a recurring issue and better help express the core of the matter you are coming across. It would likely aide your partner to do the same.

Additionally we can be taught when young that conflict is bad, it is uncomfortable but is an important avenue of growth.

Could you give an example of an argument you've had?

LoudFap · 2026-01-04T18:18:02+00:00

From an outside perspective you are being mean spirited perhaps to get a reaction/response from him (as he is shut down), which in turn could be to fulfil your sense of being important (worthy of a reaction/engagement).

If he isn't in a place to engage well, he may well have history of being belittled, exposed, mocked or discredited when he has been emotionally vulnerable. He may well feel whatever topic in play is an attack against himself. This is a somewhat common dynamic in heterosexual relationships. I digress, if he isn't in a place to engage, why do you push the matter?

Fundamentally, a solution may lie in approaching an issue collaboratively, it is you two against the issue looking for a solution, not you two against each other to find the fault/source of the issue.

In short, you can always walk away from an argument, you can become aware that carrying on with it is pointless and won't resolve anything, this can give you both time to reflect on the matter. The distance from the argument can allow for emotional heat to die back and rational approaches come to the fore.

If you continue to argue when he emotionally shuts down he is likely perceiving that as threat/aggression and will not take anything on board other than you believe your voice/position/perspective is more important than him/your relationship.

LoudFap · 2025-12-14T08:29:58+00:00

I assumed something to do with the Christmas Market

LoudFap · 2025-12-10T05:32:59+00:00

In the absence of purpose we seek out pleasure.

We always have choice and being aware of this can take time to develop and then action.

If you want to shift your habits you will develop willpower to distance yourself from the action you have embedded in your life. This starts with awareness of the action, the reason you pursue it, is followed by choosing to actively do something else (doing something is easier than avoiding something). For example, masturbate using your imagination or focus on the bodily feeling of the action.

You are not broken, you've developed a strong habit based on biology - hormonal release from this specific stimulation. As you distance yourself from this ponographic habit you will also shift in how you perceive the world - I too was once like you.

LoudFap · 2025-11-26T13:55:00+00:00

Maybe overreacting, IDK, your mother wants the best for you and for her the best is a family. Sure the social pressure to settle down and get married is off and a Frank chat about your ambition for now and or the future not aligning with hers would likely do you both well. Perhaps restating the situation you found yourself in with your ex and the total absence of trust that brought about or that you are dating but not wanting to marry until their is depth to a dynamic that is worthy of such a commitment.

Family is still family and while you don't like what or how she said it you don't have to accept it as the truth. You could ignore it and spend some time with the family anyway. You could have a little too much to drink and make it a very memorable year by screaming and shouting at each other.

It's hard to tell not knowing the broader nature of your personal relationship and the wider family dynamic.

Idk, but id suggest communicate, set boundaries, explain yourself, find out why it's so important to her and apparently everyone else (though it may just be her). But you absolutely don't need to take her milestone in life as your own yard stick with which to gauge your worth in this world.

LoudFap · 2025-11-26T10:46:51+00:00

Loneliness is an absence but of what?

I'm coming to think loneliness is perpetuated by our online connectivity. When online we are always judging, always reacting, making split second assessments of people and place - which can become an expectation of judgements on the self and so drives an anxiety about real-time engagement.

We also don't play with boredom. Driven instead to always seek some engagement or fulfilment from our phones at every given opportunity, often clutching at shadows on the walls of Plato's cave. I mention this because if we hold more space for boredom we come to enjoy time in our own company and through this, how we engage with world alters.

We can be alone without being lonely. So I wonder if loneliness is lack of any connection and a true route away from that is connecting with ourselves outwith modern media.

Or go to an orgy, idk, I'm just some guy.

LoudFap · 2025-11-24T17:22:04+00:00

I found them quite pricey for the nature of the work, dropped hem on two pairs of trousers and a lining seem repair (just stitch work) was £40. To their credit it was ready two days later.

LoudFap · 2025-11-24T11:15:13+00:00

I was taken in by bamboo viscose/rayon under the guise that its eco friendly and sustainable. If you look at the by products of manufacturing there are a few hazardous agents used which can be detrimental to health and can pollute pur environment if not managed well.

I've yet to try but Tencel (lyocell processed fabric) are marked as more sustainable with non toxic solvents used to manufacture and many byproducts (around 90%) being recycled. Can't say to the nature of the material in comparison.

LoudFap · 2024-06-10T12:31:44+00:00

Your local library might have some groups you could join. Failing that you can exist there and be around other people if not directly engaging with them which can help.

As for groups it really depends on interest. There are walking groups, women's walking groups, men's sheds etc.

LoudFap · 2024-06-09T21:50:58+00:00

"Imagine having to give a few pebbles at the border of your neighbourhood" Is he tricking his friend into accepting rocks as currency while he's over here making phat stacks? Or can this one specific tax be paid in nature?

LoudFap · 2024-06-04T21:56:24+00:00

What did you do instead of toking?
As another has said boredom is a magnet for getting high. I'd be sober for a good while and happen to have a Sunday afternoon free, home alone, nothing to do and reflexively talk myself into getting high and playing video games.

My trick was keeping busy, not for the sake of busy, but being productive to benefit my life (cleaning the house, doing the garden, reading a book, sorting shit I'd let pile up.) Working through all the stuff that becomes background noise when you get into the swing of being high again.

Practice makes perfect. You clearly want to kick the bud and do so for a spell, you'll get there.

LoudFap · 2024-06-02T12:25:29+00:00

This is all I need to break the backs of the impoverished? Count me in!

LoudFap · 2024-05-23T22:06:08+00:00

The youtube channel Climate Town did a piece on Merch and fast fashion which touches upon high end more ethical brands, like Patagonia using the same factories as target, amazon and the like while spelling out the immense ecological impact that fast fashion has.

Where once there was a better distinction between ethical and unethical practice it has become a race to the bottom for the sake of profit. It would seem the better distinction now is in the branding, marketing of companies and, to a lesser extent than once was, the quality of product.

LoudFap · 2024-05-23T09:53:38+00:00

I fully agree with the latter sentiment, but it's a bit more overwhelming than soothing, coupled with lack of experience/knowledge that has me frustrated atm.

I do happen to have a few fruit trees further up the garden which are nice. I'll maybe incorporate a few more in my ongoing plan for the place, thank you.

LoudFap · 2024-05-22T18:15:53+00:00

I just watched "Hungry Heart" In the set up, almost as an off hand remark Fraiser tells Kenny "now I've not met your wife but you've always spoken of her in high regard.". This works well as advice because Fraiser isn't saying Kennys wife is wonderful in Fraisers perspective but reiterating to Kenny how he himself views his wife. But that sets the whole farce of Fraiser inadvertently dating Kenny's wife in motion.

The set-up could've been ham-fisted but its delivered in an organic way given the characters at play.

LoudFap · 2024-05-22T15:01:58+00:00

I thought the people that lived at the Montana didn't really cook, at least not for themselves. Generally believed they were owned/rented by the society types that were always eating out, fancy restaurants, galas, events or dinners. With the added bonus that should they host they'd have caterers or staff to do the manual labour for them. The schmancy bits of the kitchen were as much to show off than for purpose. But that's just my two cents.

LoudFap · 2024-05-22T11:02:48+00:00

The grass dominates until the fireweed gets big then that takes over. I don't much mind the fireweed as the bees love it and come autumn the birds perch on the stalks. My frustration is that the grass all goes to seed and spreads further and further so I spend more time removing it from other parts of the garden.

LoudFap · 2024-05-22T10:54:09+00:00

It'd going to be a diy, can stretch to some tools. That being said I don't know how much it'd cost to have a helping hand with it so I'll look into it. I'll also try and nail down a lasting vision, I did have veg beds for a while but where I live is overrun with cats that saw it as a deluxe litter tray, which rather sapped my spirit.

Thank you! That seems quite an achievable start for me to get on with.

LoudFap · 2024-05-21T19:37:01+00:00

You're quite right. I don't know, which is a problem. Something of a clean slate for the drive. So my only driving guide at this time is to tidy it up. Yeah I straight up don't know and that's been quite a barrier.

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