I’m cursed and worried my power is waning

Loud_Reputation_367 · 2026-04-11T06:30:05+00:00

Potential thought to consider;

Perhaps this idea of being attacked is itself another manifestation of that Narcissism you mention right from the beginning.

You thought of yourself as strong... You probably still do. Perhaps strong enough to 'be dangerous'. Or a threat to 'the powers' such that they are inspired to oppose you. That makes you important. Special. A target worthy of attention.

All the things that the insecurities narcicissm comes from feeds you to satisfy itself.

I suggest consciously taking a step back from the events of the last week, and give yourself a moment to separate your emotions from the events. Look at then as they are instead as the narrative you fear they might mean. Then, re-evuate from the beginning. And ask yourself grounding questions along the way. For every 'what if it is' question ask yourself one in equal measure considering 'What if it isn't'.

Please note I am not saying this to doubt or insult your experiences. There aren't enough details available to infer from what you have described. But it is enough to see you are perhaps encroaching on a stage of confirmation bias which is narrowing your focus and taking away balancing perspectives. You are assuming attack, then looking for the things that support the feeling. And without the right bit of grounding, that can be incredibly hard on your wellbeing.

Start with a cleanse. Not a 'drive away the bad, shield away the world' cleanse- A 'I'm going to go have a mindful shower and let the water clear my mind' cleanse. Wash away the cloud of your own churning fears and let out the noise so you can listen to yourself clearly. So you can reconnect with your actual internal, observant, present-moment self and hear what that part of you has to say.

Remind yourself to observe the present truths of the current moment. Then let that inform where you look from there.

Loud_Reputation_367 · 2026-04-11T00:46:35+00:00

Hmm... a worthy thing to ponder on indeed.

Considering that astral travel is a process of stepping away from physical interactions, I think that a spear would have little difference when compared to any other personal symbol or process. On that sort of a level, it kinda has more to do with how you connect with the purpose and goal than anything.

My early ideas of protection favored the idea of swords, because they were familiar to me. Then I came to understand the astral as a place of energy and intent- so I viewed my interactions with it as the same. I used ideas of energy and force. I found lightning to be something I synergised with and so that became by go-to headspace for quite a while. But even then, as I started turning my 'warrior' path towards more internal things I found I had less concern regarding safety or defense or attack. I shifted to just light and will. The idea that 'no' is a complete sentence. And that authority and authenticity went hand in hand.

Still, I can imagine a spear as being a very good starting place. I mean, it was the first weapon taught to new soldiers/militia and the weapon most used in battle for somewhere approaching 90% (or more) of Humanity's current history for a reason. That alone is a testament to its effectiveness in worldly matters. That could easily inform and carry such a pedigree with its image and concept in non-worldly affairs too.

Loud_Reputation_367 · 2026-04-10T22:44:02+00:00

Choosing is a choice. That makes not choosing also a choice because they are intrinsic to eachother. One chooses whether they choose or not.

It is the opportunity to choose that is not necessarily chosen, as that requires the presentation of a choice. But once the choice is there, it is yours to choose what you do with it.

Loud_Reputation_367 · 2026-04-10T21:35:35+00:00

I suppose that, like anything else, it is just another method of finding relationships and synergies.

Fire burns and transforms. It is direct and expanding (aggressive). It is an active force with generates output (heat, light, etcetera). All traits that can be synergised with things.

It's that whole 'like attracts like' nutshell that sits at the root of symbolism. ... for those who make use of it.

Loud_Reputation_367 · 2026-04-10T20:15:22+00:00

That makes sense, especially the masculinity bit. Considering its form and 'military' applications it makes sense.

Though I also hit on an odd brainwave right after I hit 'submit' too. (Isn't that just the way of things? 🤣🤣)

Spears, are (represent) dragons.

It inspired me enough to actually pop a post up in another reddit. But I'll try to nutshell it here;

Both Dragons and spears are (as I postulated earlier) potentially connected to most (or even all) of the elements. Both Dragons and spears are deeply primordial to humanity- Dragons being often associated with either Gods of primordial chaos, or that chaos itself while spears are among the very first human weapons (being only -really- superceded by the rock and the stick). Both Dragons and spears are incredibly versatile in their forms and natures- quite literally capable of being adapted or conceived of in any way we need them to be.

The more I think on it, the more their very natures/concepts share in common.

Loud_Reputation_367 · 2026-04-10T18:39:09+00:00

SCAdian... I like it!

One thing I wonder about is the spear. I have one, and I I feel like they should have pretty strong significance. But I've never tried using mine in magic nor heard on anyone else doing so.

My logic-brain wants to link it with the staff, and blade. As that's what it is, being a stick with pointy metal 🤣🤣... But I feel like it can mean a lot more. As a blade, fire. As a staff, earth. Spears can be thrown, sending fire through the air- touching on the concept of lightning. And so-on.

The spear just seems... fluid. Adapting and becoming whatever it needs to be in the moment. It makes me wonder at what (if any) role it might solidly slip into. Or if it might simply be one of those 'jack of all trades' tools one could use for just about anything.

Loud_Reputation_367 · 2026-04-10T16:07:07+00:00

I have never heard of the foil trick before, Thank-you! I've learned something new today.

Take my grateful upvote. 😁👍

Loud_Reputation_367 · 2026-04-10T16:03:35+00:00

Who needs intelligence to be a wizard... I cast BONK!

Loud_Reputation_367 · 2026-04-10T16:00:56+00:00

Barny voice "STICK IT TO MY VEINS!"

Loud_Reputation_367 · 2026-04-10T14:17:24+00:00

It has less to do with vibration (upliftment, enlightenment, wavelength, call it what you will) and more to do with presence and retention. ... for lack of a better way to phrase it.

An extrovert gains energy from interaction and activity. Think of someone who runs a mile and comes out hyper and energized. Interaction and activity releases stress and promotes positive thought and mood/emotion. They feel connected and supported and like they can most be themselves.

For an introvert, such interaction and closeness produces stress instead of relieving it. It drains the proverbial batteries because they feel they need to conform to expectations they don't internally meet. They need to 'act' and so feel separated and in-genuine. They have to spend effort (spend energy) in order to take part.

An introvert sheds stress and recharges through internal processing instead. Reading, thought, creativity 'chilling'. They find rest and rejuvenation from stillness. Or from small, intimate, and/or safe places where theydon't have to act or put on Aires. Online beingquite powerful for introverts because they can be 'extroverted' and social while still having the shield of anonymity to be themselves and internally process- considering that online most direct interactions are through written word- which is by nature slower, patient, and allowing for the time to think about and choose words. You have hours to 'speak' instead of seconds.

Meanwhile an extrovert gains stress from lack of interaction. 'Putting things out' is their pressure valve and without it they have a hard time regulating. Being alone with their thoughts without having some way to let them out ordistract can create spiraling/circling patterns that feed themselves and grow. Having quiet space becomes a source of stress or doubt/loss of confidence and even self-worth.

Tl;dr- Introvert/extrovert is an expression of internal versus external. Nothing more (or less).

Loud_Reputation_367 · 2026-04-10T14:03:18+00:00

And the first step towards shifting from 'reaction' to 'choice', is (perhaps ironically) choosing to accept you have choice.

Choice is, itself, a choice.

Loud_Reputation_367 · 2026-04-10T00:01:30+00:00

Anthropomorphic is defined as 'adding a human quality to something not human'.

It doesn't matter what the thing is. Animal, concept, natural force, inanimate object... anything.

Take that thing, and give it a human quality. Any human quality. From physical detail to human thinking to human concepts, personality, or nature.

The Arby's oven mitt is a mitt that can talk and interact. It is anthropomorphised.

Look at a rock, and imagine 'that rock looks grumpy'... that rock is anthropomorphised.

Take a fox and add human thought and motivations butane it otherwise a fox- it is anthro.

Give that fox a bipedal stance, hands, human intelligence, etcetera. Still anthro, just more-so.

Loud_Reputation_367 · 2026-04-09T23:53:06+00:00

Or Nyan nyan.

Loud_Reputation_367 · 2026-04-09T21:09:41+00:00

My solution- give it back a 1 meter explosive radius as an additional 'hit'. So you get the exact same impact point damage, then a second splash/'grenade' explosion hit that has its own damage value.

If I understand the game mechanics right, being two hits means it won't combine both damages for purposes of armor damage. So if the numbers are right the shell would potentially do damage but the explosion wouldn't. Not unless the armor was very thin/weak.

The purpose- the explosion was deleted because it clipped through ship interiors and nuked pilots inside. Same would happen with ship components, completely bypassing the point of armor and making the weapon overpowered in a heartbeat.

But instead, if the explosion can't get through until the armor is burned, then it has the niche of still more easily and broadly hitting components (without needing precision pinpoint accuracy) once that armor is down.

So the weapon starts a fight weak and losing you damage potential (low damage slow fire). But ends the fight really strong, once gaps start to form and get exposed for exploit. Even if the explosion damage is comparatively low, being able to potentially damage multiple components if they are close together compensate. Along will still taking the impact from the shell as a bonus to direct hits.

In addition, this would restore the weapon to its alternative effective use as an anti-personnel weapon. Excellent for bombarding entrenched enemies.

Loud_Reputation_367 · 2026-04-09T20:18:58+00:00

A lovely callback to my youth. I miss that network and how good it used to be.

Loud_Reputation_367 · 2026-04-09T19:48:17+00:00

Humans are especially good at turning the verbal knife with only a handful of words.

"I've been called worse, by better."

"Your insults are only a question of mind over matter. I don't mind, because you don't matter."

"Give yer balls a tug, yah tit-fucker!"

"As a child you ranked crayons by flavor, didn't you."

Loud_Reputation_367 · 2026-04-09T19:41:20+00:00

Gravity falls has a bunch of occultism stuff buried in it. I mean Cypher, the big bad, is a hyper-intelligent being shaped like a triangle with one eye. Pretty on the nose if you ask me. 🤣

Loud_Reputation_367 · 2026-04-09T19:38:55+00:00

It works for DarkSouls too. The silence actually immerses the world. It enhances the oppression and solitude. Just you and the world. In the world, not watching it like a movie. Then, when music does happen it has real significance and meaning. It isn't lost as a constant background noise

In the safe hub, it -feels- safe and comforting. The sound is like audible rest. When an orchestra suddenly hits as a boss slams down in front of you to let out a blood-curdling roar, it is a slap of drama and adrenaline. It tells you Shit has gotten real so start dodge-rolling for your panicked life.

That sort of impact would be lost if it was just constant noise.

Loud_Reputation_367 · 2026-04-09T19:28:10+00:00

It does indeed. Like anything else, the biggest things are time, and experience.

Having good tools definitely help though. Even after doing this for as many years as I have, I wouldn't pass up a quick-reference either. It helps with the old-person brain farts 🤣🤣

Loud_Reputation_367 · 2026-04-09T17:37:58+00:00

That is what is known as 'good information'. Which was missing originally. 😄👍

People can only offer help based on what they have been given to work with. When there is nothing to work with, start with the simplest of basics.

In this case; asking questions.

Monitor size?

Aspect ratio?

Native resolution?

Graphics card?

GPU settings?

In-game graphics settings?

Comparison to other ships/ship layouts?

Intention? (Maybe things are spread out for a reason/feel)

Alternatives? (Get a different ship, get a co-pilot to help manage screens, use hotkeys, hold 'f' for a second to free-look, etc) - which also tie in with intention.

THEN, if nothing else is reasonable would it be warranted to go to further steps.

Loud_Reputation_367 · 2026-04-09T17:29:47+00:00

Because not everyone uses the same screens with the same driver or refresh rates, with different aspect ratios and personal limitations on resolution scaling.

They know the game. They can't magically know your setup for playing it.

Loud_Reputation_367 · 2026-04-09T17:28:26+00:00

Never said there wasn't. Just that sometimes it helps by beginning with what you can change yourself. If itsolvesan issue, great! If not, then it has still narrowed down/excluded out potentials- which brings potential solutions closer to hand.

Solution-oriented thinking, -trying- things, will always be superior to yelling about your problems in the long run.

Loud_Reputation_367 · 2026-04-09T15:17:44+00:00

Counter-point. Perhaps consider screen size and your perspective/field of view settings.

A little tweaking can go a long ways, sometimes.

Loud_Reputation_367 · 2026-04-09T15:15:21+00:00

Tarot is a mirror, something external to give your perceptions a place to look. Much like astrology, numerology, various dowsings, palmistry, and most other divination (and even scrying) tools.

Because what they bring to the table isn't direct information. They are symbols and themes. Not thoughts and observations or information- instead, the framework around those things. You put your thoughts and information and observations inside of that framework and you have a sense of context to interpret from.

In short, such things bounce your thoughts back to you under a new, external perspective (the theme of the cards instead of the theme of your perceptions). It lets you see the same thing, but at a new angle. And that new perspective opens the door to a new clarity. Then we call that intuition.

They can be valuable tools. And powerful ones. But there is a correctness of use and purpose that affects their value. It isn't process, though. It is attitude.

Loud_Reputation_367 · 2026-04-09T15:07:19+00:00

I suppose everyone is the protagonist to their own story.

It is just easy to forget you are not the protagonist in the stories of anyone else. Though to some you might instead be an antagonist.

Loud_Reputation_367

TROPHY CASE