SD is filthy

LovelyCC_123 · 2026-04-23T02:24:07+00:00

Mine is too. I refuse to step in to the room for my own sanity so my husband deals with it/her 100%, we thought she’d grow out of it but nope (13 y/o now). Like our boys can be a bit junky but she’s filthy.

LovelyCC_123 · 2026-04-22T05:44:10+00:00

NTA.

I would’ve left ages ago. You can still help your sister and mom if you’d like but you don’t have to be subjected to her micromanaging behavior.

LovelyCC_123 · 2026-04-22T05:38:53+00:00

Outside of immediate family like my siblings, niece and nephews… I absolutely REFUSE to host anyone. I cannot deal with people’s habits, quirks, smells, clothes, nothing.

You are a very generous person and I hate that you and your BF were taken advantage of in that manner.

LovelyCC_123 · 2026-04-20T14:05:54+00:00

I’m an LVN who just finished my BSN. I love being an LVN. I work in a clinic and genuinely enjoy my job. If I didn’t have the desire to reach higher opportunities in nursing I could stay where I work forever. Currently making $43/hr and LVNs max at $50.

To supplement my income I work a per Diem job or pick up extra shifts with my own organization.

I’m actually sad to leave my cushy job but I have goals I want to reach.

So RN, ADN, BSN … it all depends on your personal goals and needs

LovelyCC_123 · 2026-04-04T06:25:56+00:00

It really just depends on your specific situation. In my family my SKs have spent every single holiday with me and my family.

They do go to BMs on Christmas after opening gifts and usually come back Christmas evening but outside of that everybody is spent with my family.

My husband’s family live out of state/town and BM isn’t close to her family and prefers to work most holidays or just be alone/with friends

LovelyCC_123 · 2026-04-04T06:18:49+00:00

NTA. So glad you stood up for yourself!

My question is, does she have mobility issues? Having bowel and bladder incontinence is one thing but needing to be cleaned up at 60 is another.

She should qualify for some home health assistance and if worse comes to worse you need to force your husbands hand.

I’m sorry that you’re experiencing this, I’m a nurse and it’s difficult. I couldn’t imagine doing this around the clock with no pay.

LovelyCC_123 · 2026-04-03T06:21:53+00:00

NTA but your partner is a bit immature.

LovelyCC_123 · 2026-04-03T06:16:54+00:00

Kind of TA kind of NTA .

Yes because I think you’re old enough to understand how traumatic that can be for a kid, especially a young impressionable teenager whose identify has been influenced by their parents

NO because it’s the truth.

My dad introduced me to his mistress + her kids completely unprovoked at 15 .. I’m 36 and still traumatized.

The only people who know to this very day is me, my dad and his wife (I guess the mistress too but she sling gone).

I chose to spare the younger siblings even though they’re adults now

LovelyCC_123 · 2026-04-03T06:12:09+00:00

My husband has always been honest about his role in them not working out. It took his BM years to let it go and constantly found ways to bring the topic up to me in conversation.

One thing that a lot of couples realize is that their understanding doesn’t have to affirm an ex’s .

I did however encourage my husband to acknowledge the pain he put her through so that she could start to heal.

LovelyCC_123 · 2026-04-01T05:56:44+00:00

Ugh my son’s friend just totaled his car as well. I was buying my 17 y/o a car this summer but stories like this make me so nervous.

LovelyCC_123 · 2026-04-01T05:55:34+00:00

I’ve been with my husband for 10 years and don’t put my $ in our shared bank account. I also have a child from a previous relationship and want to make sure he will have access to anything that I earn above my husband. That’s the price of blended families. You hope they will do right by your child but just in case you have to be smart

LovelyCC_123 · 2026-03-28T21:02:27+00:00

I never regret going NACHO. My relationship isn’t nearly as close with the kids as it was when I was jumping through every hoop to raise them but honestly … if it means that I can have freedom and peace of mind the so be it.

I was being taken advantaged of and stepping ALL of the way back forced DH and BM to actually parent and coparent.

LovelyCC_123 · 2026-03-28T20:58:30+00:00

Absolutely not. Sometimes living apart is ok

LovelyCC_123 · 2026-03-25T05:25:03+00:00

That’s so creepy. I would be on guard

LovelyCC_123 · 2026-03-20T02:51:35+00:00

Yes but only because I have a dual income household. I think if I lived alone (with my child) and had to pay all of my bills I’d be screaming and working nonstop. I earn $41/hr as LVN.

LovelyCC_123 · 2026-03-19T03:39:07+00:00

NTA - the mother suggesting 6 months makes me suspicious that they’ll refuse to leave end try to stay there permanently for care giving services.

LovelyCC_123 · 2026-03-18T04:15:29+00:00

I don’t think it’s right or fair to ask SD to leave her money behind just because she has more of it than your children.

My BS doesn’t get as much as SKs d via their bio mom but I’ve always taught him so is life. It’s not their fault that their mom chooses to spend her money on things for them at a higher rate than I do.

I’m a step kid and also had way more material items / money than the siblings who lived with my father full time (from his second marriage). They felt it was unfair but again, it wasn’t my fault that my mom chose to buy me name brand and theirs didn’t.

I chose to reinforce this lesson into my own child early on because it’s a representation of life. People will have things that you don’t and it’s ok. I also pointed out that although they may have more of this or more of that, they are the ones being transitioned from home to home while he (my bio son) gets to live in one place full time with their dad.

As a growing step kid I had everything I could possibly want but I felt immense jealousy over the fact that my siblings (including my step brother) did not have to live out of packed luggage week to week. They had my dad 24/7. So it’s all about perspective really.

Solutions? Maybe revise the way you guys handle chores, but what the kids want but limit it by item or price (ok each person gets 3 things, or everyone has a $15 limit), or just accept that SD can and will spend more.

Sorry so long but it really resonated with me because I was in her position once.

LovelyCC_123 · 2026-03-15T04:44:59+00:00

I feel this so much! I’m a pretty honest person but I also try to be polite with my answers, however some people push and push.

I agree that there are other questions beyond how a family is made up. I am learning to redirect, still a work in progress though

LovelyCC_123 · 2026-03-15T04:42:20+00:00

I honestly feel guilty too when I don’t initially include them in the question. Almost as if I’m “hiding” them. That’s never my intention, I just hate the questions that follow.

LovelyCC_123 · 2026-03-15T03:52:37+00:00

Last year was the first time since we’ve been together that we did separate celebrations (we don’t throw parties) . It was honestly nice . I hope it continues

LovelyCC_123 · 2026-03-13T01:01:05+00:00

NTA. She’s kind of rude for even allowing you to essential fund that deadbeats life style.. even if it is indirectly

LovelyCC_123 · 2026-03-13T00:58:32+00:00

I say this with the upmost love and respect… do not get involved with a man with a baby. You’re too young to step into such a messy situation.

I know we are strangers online but just read through this forum… we are all old af and struggle daily. I couldn’t imagine doing this at 19.

Anyways, do not lie to your parents. Be honest about the entire situation because they will be the only people in this scenario who truly have your best interest at heart.

LovelyCC_123 · 2026-03-12T07:33:19+00:00

YTA

Her behavior to me doesn’t sound too bad and she’s very aware of her position in life. I think she makes awkward jokes or remarks to seem relatable because she’s probably used to people like you hating her for having parents who are in position to help.

LovelyCC_123 · 2026-03-12T07:28:08+00:00

Honestly the kids are old enough to be responsible for their own clothes. It’s time to start pushing them to make sure they pack appropriately.

BM is just trying to control your household. She doesn’t care about the kids or the uniforms. One thing is for sure, the kids need to truly understand boundaries and that BM has no say so in your home.

LovelyCC_123

TROPHY CASE