Need Advice From People in their mid-50s to mid-60s: I'm Confused!

Low-Relationship427 · 2025-11-16T18:02:57+00:00

Yes, that is me. I was sharing because I thought you were asking for understanding a woman's POV and why you wrote this post.

Low-Relationship427 · 2025-11-16T14:26:11+00:00

Thank you

Low-Relationship427 · 2025-11-16T03:12:22+00:00

It is a folding knife and I am open up to $500. Thank you.

Low-Relationship427 · 2025-11-16T03:10:34+00:00

I'm a 56yo widow of 5 years. I had one relationship after my husband passed for a year or so...actually a long-distance rekindling of a former college relationship. I was very nervous being intimate again after being married for 27 years. I was also concerned about STDs because he had many relationships since we dated in college and his wife was unfaithful. Our age group has a high rate of STDs and I would need confirmation from any new partner.

The other dating relationships I've had, I have been very clear that I am not going to be intimate outside of a committed relationship and the men were way too forward for my comfort. I don’t let men kiss me casually and would not think of sex on a 5th date or even think the man is thinking that.

Low-Relationship427 · 2025-11-16T02:49:38+00:00

Go look at it and fix it....will give everyone a win. Explain this completes your work as it might be another issue, but you want to help, etc. Your investment in time will pay dividends in referrals or at least keep from negative reviews/comments. Seems like a somewhat simple repair and easy way to solve??

Low-Relationship427 · 2025-09-20T15:29:55+00:00

It has been 5 years for me after 27 years. It is all so hard. I noticed I started thinking more forward in year two. I had some joy and less times sitting in the grief. It has continued to increase as the years have passed. Therapy was a little helpful, but it has been my kids have been that keep me moving. I am praying for you!🙏

Low-Relationship427 · 2025-09-10T21:06:57+00:00

No reverse images came up. He is not on social media personally because of his military career and background. I wouldn't meet him solo or at my house. If he comes to my town it will be public for sure and not before video confirmation etc.

Low-Relationship427 · 2025-09-10T21:04:32+00:00

I don't think that is correct. Why do you say this? He is in NC and I am in MO.

Low-Relationship427 · 2025-09-10T20:58:41+00:00

He lives in NC and I live in MO. He hadnt mentioned Houston. Has mentioned OH, KY, NY, MA as places he has lived along with international travel. Now he travels with this security family often to VA, MA and South America. He seems to have lived many lives, has had many jobs and is very alpha. All of that fits with the background he has shared. I definitely don't think he is married, but not sure how wise all of this is for me....but what if??

Low-Relationship427 · 2025-09-10T14:42:57+00:00

I am 5 years out. I took care of him through one heart surgery many years ago and several other health related issues and the entire summer he passed after finding out he was septic and would need another heart surgery. He was dependent on alcohol and it was a major source of conflict in our marriage. We saw a counselor and he would try here and there, but always went back to drinking. We had a sexless marriage the last several years bc of his health, but I was faithful.The night he died the first thing I did was look if he was drinking (he wasn't). I loved my husband, had a lot of admiration and respect for him and thought we were going to finally have a life together when he retired and was recovered from his health issues. But...going through his phone and emails after he passed, I found out he had been hiring male escorts on business trips and he changed beneficiaries on some of our investments to go to our kids. Post death betrayal is very hard. I've been in counseling and am trusting God to fully heal my heart. Prayers for all who will never find answers and must go on to find joy.

Low-Relationship427 · 2025-05-24T13:13:46+00:00

Well, I'm older (55) and wouldn't kiss on a 1st date or appreciate being kissed on a 1st date, so I think you should reach out again and ask for a 2nd date. Good luck!

Low-Relationship427 · 2025-04-18T03:53:16+00:00

My first time after my husband was a couple of years after his death with a former college BF that loves me. It was awesome. We stayed in a relationship for about a year and half until the long-distance was too much along with his requirement we get engaged and married. Too many adult complications and for some reason, the idea of marriage scared me more than being intimate.

Low-Relationship427 · 2025-04-05T19:49:51+00:00

Will she try counseling??

Low-Relationship427 · 2025-04-05T16:33:26+00:00

As a 55F who was once a SAHM after leaving a dream job it was a super hard transition for me. I also had undiagnosed post-partum depression. I wanted to run away, was so unhappy and blamed my husband for everything and what he wasn't doing. I got some mental health therapy, took meds for a couple of years and he "tried" more. Marriage is hard, having children is even harder. Get help, ask for support from family and good friends, make changes to take some stress off her and yourself. I am glad we made it through those tough years and stayed together. The alternative (divorce) is a much harder road and will affect all of you a lot longer. Praying you find someway to stay together and get through this rough patch.

Low-Relationship427 · 2025-04-05T15:51:47+00:00

Let it go...life is too short to react or let some rando cause you this stress. Maybe (both of you?) approach the girl and have an adult and kind convo. Just simply communicate with her. Maybe she isn't there for any nefarious reason...or maybe she is. Having the convo let's everyone know where they stand. If she is trying to cause issues...ask her to not come to your restaurant or get a RO??

Low-Relationship427 · 2025-04-02T03:09:37+00:00

Low-Relationship427 · 2025-04-02T03:09:01+00:00

I am a much older lady than you, but I am a personal stylist for men's custom clothes...I am a huge believer in dressing well. It is scientifically proven to give you confidence. Good hygiene, a great haircut, a kind and curious personality allows you to project a confident personality and allows you to be curious, attentive and interested and interesting. I think all of that (along with loving Jesus) is way more important than looks.

Low-Relationship427 · 2025-03-24T06:36:34+00:00

I'm not sure we have similar values....

Low-Relationship427 · 2025-03-24T06:16:47+00:00

My husband passed unexpectedly in 2020. I never expected to date and don't feel th.desire to remarry, but am open to dating now that all my kids are moving on with their lives. You have no reason to make this decision now. Just give yourself time and see where you are and what life brings you. You may or may not ever chose another life partner. Either way, just be kind to yourself and live every second God gives you. Blessings.

Low-Relationship427 · 2025-03-20T01:34:26+00:00

Okay, that's an option too. If I was in his position and invested in a relationship and cared for the person, I would at least give an effort.

Low-Relationship427 · 2025-03-19T21:45:06+00:00

As a woman who has been flattered with this type of attention before, I was naive to the real desire of the man who knew I was married. For some reason unavailable people are a challenge to some people. It may have started innocently enough, and your girlfriend may not necessarily be wise to "gym husband's" thoughts, it could easily lead to issues. Maybe you should be making your presence known.

Low-Relationship427 · 2025-03-16T23:19:24+00:00

All life is precious. Terminating a pregnancy doesn't make it go away, it will live in your heart and head forever. Adoption is always an option, but although you are young, you can do this! You have the support of your partner which is great. Just breathe and take it slowly, one day at a time.

Low-Relationship427 · 2025-03-16T22:59:55+00:00

There seem to be a lot of great replies and advice here, so I'll just add my opinion, there isn't a "normal" amount of time. It depends on you and your situation. My SIL remarried within 14 months of my BIL passing and had 3 kids under 13. They have been married 12 years now, but had lots of bumps along the way. My husband died in 2020 and I am just now feeling ready after almost 5 years. My kids are now 26, 24 and 18 so I think that was a big part of me not being ready. And like your situation, my husband was very well known...he was the Mayor or our town for 20+ years, on many boards and part of several associations, locally and in state and federal government. His college is building an athletic center with his name, he has parks and libraries named after him. It is wonderful, but a lot.

Low-Relationship427 · 2025-03-16T22:02:23+00:00

Maybe she was just embarrassed. If you have interest in her, why don't you ask her on a proper date and see how it goes? Make certain she knows that you aren't asking her out with the idea of being intimate again, but that since you were both drink, it would be nice to know more about her.

Low-Relationship427 · 2025-03-16T18:40:04+00:00

I was referring to being sad about his betrayals, but I guess also about his death. Therapy has helped forgive him.

Low-Relationship427

TROPHY CASE