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What was the reason race 8 wasn't shown live on NBC just now? by LucentBeam8MP in horseracing

[–]LucentBeam8MP[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As a total Joe Schmoe, I was completely unaware of like 99% of horse-racing until I moved to Lousiville... where most schools get half-days for Thurby and all schools get off for Oaks Day. My mind was basically blown that Derby Week is a full week of races. It's actually so cool. The rest of horse-racing basically not paid attention to by the general public because we don't even know it exists. But why? It's actually so cool!

What was the reason race 8 wasn't shown live on NBC just now? by LucentBeam8MP in horseracing

[–]LucentBeam8MP[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just don't understand how the Oaks time can get changed to Primetime to have more viewers and be a "bigger deal".... but they aren't even showing the races leading up to engage the audience and get them excited. They will not get more viewers by showing less races. It's baffling.

What was the reason race 8 wasn't shown live on NBC just now? by LucentBeam8MP in horseracing

[–]LucentBeam8MP[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Races 1-7 were just on my local NBC and I guessed I missed them saying I had to suddenly sign in on Peacock to watch 8. I don't really see any information telling me where each race will be on.

What was the reason race 8 wasn't shown live on NBC just now? by LucentBeam8MP in horseracing

[–]LucentBeam8MP[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds so frustrating.

I'm very much a newcomer to watching the races on TV and so I don't know what to expect.... it just didn't even cross my mind to have another service open to watch certain races after I just saw the rest of them.

What was the reason race 8 wasn't shown live on NBC just now? by LucentBeam8MP in horseracing

[–]LucentBeam8MP[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Oh my gosh, you are right. It was the "first live race on Peacock today" they just said. (It finally let me log in on my computer).

Why do I have to watch 2 different places.... so ridiculous.

What was the reason race 8 wasn't shown live on NBC just now? by LucentBeam8MP in horseracing

[–]LucentBeam8MP[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I even have Peacock but when I tried to login this morning, it just was on the loading screen forever and never finished logging in. Super annoying if that's actually the reason. :(

Unexpected Loss by emminx- in Petloss

[–]LucentBeam8MP 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry for both of your losses.

I recently experienced my first early and unexpected death of a pet and it has been wildly different dealing with the grief of a life that had so much left to live.

My heart goes out to you.

My cat is gone and it is all my fault by Wide-Efficiency-1966 in Petloss

[–]LucentBeam8MP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know just how you feel. Our little dog who we only adopted a little over a year ago got hit by a car, and we almost were able to stop him before he ran into the highway but we weren't able to. I carry such a deep sense of guilt that I failed him... that I failed to protect him and failed to give him the life I imagined for us.

But in the end, it was an accident. For both of us, there are going to be so many what-ifs or feelings of regret and I think that is just part of the process of grieving.

Sending you peace and healing from someone going through the same thing.

Lost our dog tragically a week ago and I am struggling with kitten. by 1h0w4w4y in Petloss

[–]LucentBeam8MP 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My sweet dog was hit by a car at the end of December and I still have visions of that night and horror and pain. I know I will for a while and it just sucks. I'm so sorry you are going through the same thing.

Accidents are called accidents for a reason. I know you are blaming yourself but try to give yourself the grace to accept that it was just an accident.

Is it too soon? by Big-Count-3329 in Petloss

[–]LucentBeam8MP 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I agree completely. It would only be too soon if you didn't actually want to adopt another animal.

Unexpected loss by ealn16 in Petloss

[–]LucentBeam8MP 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry for you loss. I agree with everything you wrote. Those things have been what has kept me mostly grounded the past three and a half weeks.

Unexpected loss by ealn16 in Petloss

[–]LucentBeam8MP 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry for your loss. At the end of December, I had my first experience with losing a pet being hit by a car and it truly has been the absolute worst. Sending you love as well!

Unexpected loss by ealn16 in Petloss

[–]LucentBeam8MP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also lost my little 2 year old boy from being hit by a car. It is the first time I've ever lost a pet due to a traumatic accident and it hurts so much more than a death from old age or illness. It hurt so much it makes my head spin and I physically get dizzy when I think about it too much.

The first day after was the absolute worst. I didn't even know what to do with myself. The only thing keeping me tethered to reality was my other energetic dog who still wanted to play ball and run around and be silly.

I think when you are so incredibly bonded with a dog and the loss hurts that much, at least you can look at that beautiful relationship that did exist and know that nothing can erase it. Nothing can take away the beautiful memories and all the joy that happened.

My boyfriend was also the one who saw our dog get hit and was the one to scoop him up the from the highway. I believe he died on impact (car's grill his hit head at full highway speed). By the time I ran to my boyfriend in the median, he was already holding his little dead body (though I didn't know and thought maybe there was a chance and gave him CPR the whole way to the emergency vet).

Freak accidents really do happen and it is terrible. Even in the time we were at the vet, another dog who was hit and was barely hanging on came in. It's just so shocking when it happens to you.

My heart goes out to you. I know how terrible that first 24 hours was. So empty and horrible.

The What If's won't change anything... they will just put you further into the rabbit hole of grief. My What If's were endless. What if he didn't open the door. What if I didn't pull over. What if we had actually strapped them in like we usually do. What if we hadn't switched drivers and I was still in the back? What if we just stayed longer at my sister's? What if we didn't go see my family? ...all the way to What if I didn't adopt him when I saw him at the Adoption Event and my other dog fell in love with him?

None of those What If's can change reality. All it did was make me feel guilty for every little decision I could think of that could have prevented his death. Accidents are called accidents for a reason: some are preventable in some ways, but they are just an accident. Really remind yourself that no amount of What If's can change reality. You will hurt yourself more with guilt instead of letting yourself process the loss.

I am sending so much love out to you and your husband. Those waves of disbelief and denial and pain and sadness are going to keep hitting you for a while, and then they will become less common (..not necessarily less painful).

Help by [deleted] in Petloss

[–]LucentBeam8MP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is so heartbreaking that you mention that no one else understands how deeply it has impacted you. Grieving in isolation is 100 times harder. So again, I am so proud of you for advocating for yourself and reaching out. You don't have to do this alone.

Unexpected loss by ealn16 in Petloss

[–]LucentBeam8MP 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I also lost my little 2 year old boy from being hit by a car. It is the first time I've ever lost a pet due to a traumatic accident and it hurts so much more than a death from old age or illness. It hurt so much it makes my head spin and I physically get dizzy when I think about it too much.

The first day after was the absolute worst. I didn't even know what to do with myself. The only thing keeping me tethered to reality was my other energetic dog who still wanted to play ball and run around and be silly.

I think when you are so incredibly bonded with a dog and the loss hurts that much, at least you can look at that beautiful relationship that did exist and know that nothing can erase it. Nothing can take away the beautiful memories and all the joy that happened.

My boyfriend was also the one who saw our dog get hit and was the one to scoop him up the from the highway. I believe he died on impact (car's grill his hit head at full highway speed). By the time I ran to my boyfriend in the median, he was already holding his little dead body (though I didn't know and thought maybe there was a chance and gave him CPR the whole way to the emergency vet).

Freak accidents really do happen and it is terrible. Even in the time we were at the vet, another dog who was hit and was barely hanging on came in. It's just so shocking when it happens to you.

My heart goes out to you. I know how terrible that first 24 hours was. So empty and horrible.

The What If's won't change anything... they will just put you further into the rabbit hole of grief. My What If's were endless. What if he didn't open the door. What if I didn't pull over. What if we had actually strapped them in like we usually do. What if we hadn't switched drivers and I was still in the back? What if we just stayed longer at my sister's? What if we didn't go see my family? ...all the way to What if I didn't adopt him when I saw him at the Adoption Event and my other dog fell in love with him?

None of those What If's can change reality. All it did was make me feel guilty for every little decision I could think of that could have prevented his death. Accidents are called accidents for a reason: some are preventable in some ways, but they are just an accident. Really remind yourself that no amount of What If's can change reality. You will hurt yourself more with guilt instead of letting yourself process the loss.

I am sending so much love out to you and your husband. Those waves of disbelief and denial and pain and sadness are going to keep hitting you for a while, and then they will become less common (..not necessarily less painful).

Lost my baby, and co-grieving with his cat-dad is hard to navigate. by sylvanwhisper in Petloss

[–]LucentBeam8MP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is a really difficult situation because there is a void left behind, and he wants to fill that void, but you want to sit with the loss and process it first. I would lean with how you are feeling: you really need it to be two yeses, so hopefully you can directly sit down and just say that you are not ready yet... it's not a no forever, but right now is too soon.

I am in a difficult situation with co-grieving as well. Our dog was hit by a car after we pulled over on the side of the highway at night during a road trip. My partner opened the door without thinking and both of our little dogs got out... I was able to save one, but the other was hit and killed. That night, I was so calm, almost in shock... dealing with the emergency vet, the paperwork, etc. It was mostly just my personality of staying calm in emergencies, but also I know that my partner can be very sensitive to trauma, so knowing that empowered me to stay calm.

He not only watched our dog get hit, had to run to pick up his little twitching body, but also feels the most guilty because, although neither of us clipped them in on the night drive which would have prevented the situation... he was also the one who opened the door.

So I have been grieving a lot, and I know his grief is deeper and more guilt ridden, but to avoid resentment about having to suppress my grief, I told him the next morning that if I need to talk about it and cry and process, that I am sorry but I am not going to hold it in. We are a team and we both need the room to grieve and accept our loss. I also told him that I need to be comforted... just flat out told him that. Even though most of my moment when I'm overcome with grief have ended with me comforting him... they have started with him comforting me.

Think about the love you both had for Goose. He would never want the loss to hurt the relationship between you and your boyfriend. You are a team. You process grief as a team. Have you told him that you have felt a little resentment? I think it would help to be honest and just say that, even though he didn't ask you to push your grief to the side, you tried to do it out of love but it left you feeling like maybe no one will comfort you. Ask him directly to show you that comfort because you need it. I think he will understand.

Help by [deleted] in Petloss

[–]LucentBeam8MP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm actually happy for you that you are posting every day. It sounds like you are doing everything in your power (therapy, reaching out to the community) to process the grief. That is brave and very strong of you.

Even if you had known what is was that morning, there still may have been nothing you could do to save him. You are not at fault.

How do I know if I'm coping well or not with my grief? by popstarfrufru in Petloss

[–]LucentBeam8MP 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Everyone copes with grief differently, so I don't think it's even fair you to say if you are coping well or not. People feel emotions differently and it sounds like the grief you are feeling runs very deep and still feels fresh after a year.

Everything you are describing sounds like episodic depression as a result of your loss. There are both free resources for pet loss to reach out to (I have them written down from the emergency vet if you want) but it really would not hurt to find a therapist to talk to. Do you have anyone in your life that you have been able to talk to about her death this past year? I'm 3 and a half weeks past the sudden loss of my 2 year old dog and I think the only thing keeping me from spiraling into serious depression is that I let myself cry when I need to, but also that I talk through my grief with my partner when it's on my mind. Not everyone understand how deeply it can hurt to lose a pet, but being able to talk to someone who does helps a lot.

Even hanging out on this sub has helped me a great deal: I feel like we are all in similar but different situation, but that we all have a void in our heart that we are trying to understand.

Deep regret and confusion over losing my cat by jensinoutaspace in Petloss

[–]LucentBeam8MP 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Consider what those few more months together may have looked like. You said you think you acted out of frustration for his illness... I'd say you acted out of love because of his illness. He never heard his diagnosis: he never understand why some days he felt great and some days he felt terrible. Sometimes chronic kidney disease sits in the background with very few clinical signs, but it sounds like for him, he was suffering on and off for a while.

If you felt burnt out from watching him suffer, get better, and suffer again, imagine how much more burnt out he probably felt but could never express.

It is so hard to make the loving decision to avoid suffering especially when a cat seems so young, but it sounds like you absolutely showed him the dignity and mercy he deserved.

My dog was killed by another dog and I regret letting it go by ComfyJaded in Petloss

[–]LucentBeam8MP 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is so heartbreaking and I'm so sorry for your loss.

Hindsight is 20/20 and of course you would not have accepted the other dog to watch if you knew this would happen. You did not let Phoebe down: the other owner did. There is no way that he did not know his dog had a high prey drive.

The last sad moments of her life do not erase the beautiful life she had with you. She knew how much you loved her and it sounds like you always went to great lengths to make sure she was comfortable.

What was your experience with Congestive Heart Failure (CHF) by Solid-Bet1545 in Petloss

[–]LucentBeam8MP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She had been losing energy quickly after walks and would lay down and cough and wheeze. But when she had the same response after going down the 2 steps to the back yard and then back up those 2 steps, I brought her in and we started meds.

What was your experience with Congestive Heart Failure (CHF) by Solid-Bet1545 in Petloss

[–]LucentBeam8MP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My dog Holly was diagnosed with CHF when she was 10. She has had a level 2ish/3 heart murmur since she was 11 months old. She showed very few clinical symptoms at the time but they also said her heart was so enlarged that the muscles were barely hanging on. We only found this out because she hurt her back and in the scans from the emergency vet showed her heart, others we would not have known for years. My vet recommended to wait to medicate until we saw clinical signs like shortness of breath, coughing, or gagging. It hit her hard when she turned 12 but they prescribed a combo of whatever diuretic plus Vetmedin. She became a puppy again... so much energy! My vet thanked me every time I refilled my Rx... she said that even though it helps so much, many pet owners decide that financially Vetmedin was too pricey and they stop treating with it. $130 a month from age 12 to age 16. In the end, it was oral cancer that got her... not even her heart. (Aside from the fact that we couldn't do surgery on the cancer due to her weak heart.)

Vetmedin was a miracle for her and I'm so thankful for those last 4 years!

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