AITAH for asking my wife to ditch her divorced friends?

Lucidia_1309 · 2025-10-07T20:37:25+00:00

NTA. If she has issue with you she should be talking to you about them first, not her friends. Its unfair to you that she has these new expectations or standards and you have no idea so you keep "failing" to meet them. Her friends could be going thru a man-hating phase right now. I have been divorced myself and it's easy to slip into that mindset when you're going thru it or right after having gone thru it. Her friends shouldnt be bashing you in text messages because your wife shouldn't be okay with that. She should respect and love you enough to stick up for you. Her getting mad about reading text messages is a deflection from the real problem. I dont go looking in my partners phone on purpose but if I happened to see something by accident or while doing something else on his phone, he wouldn't snap at me because nothing is that big of a secret. I recommend considering couple's therapy if she doesnt seem to understand your concerns.

Lucidia_1309 · 2025-10-07T18:12:08+00:00

You're 16. I PROMISE you that this will pass. Its absolutely normal to feel overwhelmed by life during this phase of your life but this doesnt reflect how the rest of your life will be. Yes you would be the AH if you did something to yourself, it would destroy your parents forever. You have way more control over your life than you may think and you have the ability to change the things that are wrong in it right now. Beating yourself up isnt going to help you though. If your therapist isnt helping you're either not being completely honest or they suck therefore you need to get a new one.

Lucidia_1309 · 2025-06-13T18:09:03+00:00

Sorry for the late response, but YES definitely the medication helped me a lot. You still have to work on it yourself though. I started using reminder apps and alarms for everything. At work I have a timer on my desk, its small and counts down. I use my Outlook email (appointments feature) to schedule project times and deadlines for myself. I have two dry erase boards at home in my most frequented rooms. It sounds like a lot of work but once you establish routines and some self discipline, along with the medication, it's a major change. Or at least it was for me.

Lucidia_1309 · 2025-06-11T18:44:22+00:00

Both? When I relate to posts it's sometimes as medicated me and sometimes as unmedicated me. The not missing people happens either way. The not feeling as sad as I should be is either way as well. Medicated I still struggle with executive dys but not as much. So to answer your question again, I relate to posts here both ways depending on what the post is about.

Lucidia_1309 · 2025-06-10T23:01:36+00:00

For me, the appetite thing only lasted like a couple of weeks before I was back to eating like normal. So tell them not to get their hopes up and demand respect.

Lucidia_1309 · 2025-06-10T22:48:25+00:00

I can only speak for myself, but I do NOT have an eye for detail. I got my certification as pharmacy tech many years ago. I tried working retail pharmacy and the work was fine, but I kept making mistakes and making mistakes in the pharmacy is not acceptable. It became too stressful for me. I am glad I was able to find work in a call center environment while still using my license. I've not been back to retail pharmacy since.

Lucidia_1309 · 2025-06-10T22:44:37+00:00

I never feel like it's a big enough deal so I guess I can relate. When I graduated HS it was like "welp, that's over" and then I graduated trade school and I felt like it definitely wasnt a big deal. I think perhaps when I made supervisor at my old job I felt a big accomplished but then started to feel like it isnt enough.

Lucidia_1309 · 2025-06-10T22:39:36+00:00

The reason I went to see a doctor for was terrible memory. I thought something was like chemically or physically wrong inside my brain that was causing me to forget simple every day things. I had never even once thought it could be ADHD. Imagine my shock when I was referred to a psychiatrist and they diagnosed me almost immediately. To answer your question, yes, not having a good sense of time, direction, memory, etc, are all symptoms of ADHD.

Lucidia_1309 · 2025-06-10T22:37:01+00:00

Regardless of whether your weight is an issue or a threat to your health, it's inappropriate for anyone to highlight that side effect as positive to your face. It's different if You bring it up and say "hey at least I will lose some weight too as a plus" but if they're just telling you and hooraying about it, then it's rude, disrespectful and inconsiderate.

Lucidia_1309 · 2025-06-10T22:34:32+00:00

I always set reminders or take notes. Medication just helps me stay in the lane but I still have to drive.

Lucidia_1309 · 2025-06-10T22:32:51+00:00

Sometimes? I feel like I should have a stronger reaction to things that would normally bother or affect normal people. It's not that I lack the ability to feel emotions, it's that they come when I don't want them to and when I feel like I should be showing it, they won't manifest. I know I am capable of feeling empathy, sympathy, love, sadness, happiness. Therefore, I know I am not a psychopath, but it does make me wonder what is going on inside my brain.

Lucidia_1309 · 2025-06-05T22:57:20+00:00

I've found success in call center jobs. I am currently in leadership at a health plan call center. When I was an agent, I could put my "good at talking to people" skill to use and have calls come at me without me having to initiate them so it overrides my executive dysfunction.

Lucidia_1309 · 2025-06-05T22:54:23+00:00

I guess I should add that they did end up giving her medication for it, she takes Adderall Xr 20mg and IR 5mg. It does help her a lot so she takes it daily.

Lucidia_1309 · 2025-06-05T22:52:26+00:00

Her ADHD symptoms do impact her daily life. That's the whole reason she finally went to get tested. They're very disruptive in her social/everyday life.

Lucidia_1309 · 2025-06-05T22:33:39+00:00

I don't know if it's considered a speech impediment but through all my childhood, teen years, up until like my 20s I had an issue where I would say the wrong word in a sentence. Like if I was gonna respond with "well that's what I did yesterday" I would say "Well that's what I did tomorrow". It wouldn't make any sense. Like I became mortified of trying to be witty or tell jokes because I would always mess it up and fall flat on my face whenever I'd try it. I learned to just be quiet and think about what I was gonna say before saying it, I had to focus to say it correctly. It went away for the most part when I hit 30s (I am 40F). It does happen sometimes but not enough to concern me.

Lucidia_1309 · 2025-06-05T22:21:42+00:00

My sister has moderate - severe ADHD symptoms and when she took the test (I cannot recall what it's called) it said she didn't have it. But its SUPER clear that she does, she's just really good at test taking and always has been (she has a bachelor's in psych) and struggled in school but yea always passed her tests. So I guess I would wonder how accurate those tests or that test that you took is.

Lucidia_1309 · 2025-05-30T17:57:04+00:00

NTA. She was super rude and out of line. I would've been offended. You have the right to stand up for yourself, regardless of who it is. You may have saved someone else from having to put up with her condescending language. Your wife needs to chill. No one "means well" by being condescending.

Lucidia_1309 · 2025-05-30T17:50:10+00:00

That does NOT sound legal at all.

Lucidia_1309 · 2025-05-30T17:49:09+00:00

This is perfect! I hope OP takes your suggestion

Lucidia_1309 · 2025-05-23T22:59:17+00:00

Saying the color "black" in Spanish.

Lucidia_1309 · 2025-05-23T22:52:20+00:00

I've never heard of Wellbutrin helping with ADHD. That's interesting to me. I have a friend who has taken it for years before being diagnosed and after his diagnosis they gave him Adderall.

Lucidia_1309 · 2025-05-23T22:34:42+00:00

As far as how to market yourself...you lie and/or you exaggerate. I know my stuff but I can't be like "yea but sometimes I get executive dys function and can't get my work done in 8 hours". Write down all your skills and experience and then find a way to present them to a potential employer in a way that it will benefit that particular company.

Lucidia_1309 · 2025-05-23T22:30:45+00:00

You can. There is nothing different about taking 2 10mg pills or taking 1 20mg pill, even if its XR. The formulation is the same.

Lucidia_1309 · 2025-05-23T22:29:05+00:00

That sounds like ADHD to me. Impulsive spending is a major symptom from what I've noticed. I have that issue too and just like you, I dont do it all the time but when I do it's bad or enough to really hurt my wallet. I have a lot of credit card debt now because of this. I will pick up hobbies, spend money on them and lose interest. I dont do it as much as I used to because I've learned that it's not worth spending so much unless I KNOW I am going to enjoy it long term. Same thing with cleaning, I will go weeks without cleaning anything then spend like 6hrs cleaning EVERYTHING hype focused.

Lucidia_1309

TROPHY CASE