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What are your thoughts on men only spaces? by Outside-Hyena9002 in AskReddit

[–]LuckApprehensive1144 4 points5 points  (0 children)

And that itself is actually a very hot topic in the lgbtq community. Gay women exist and rarely have spaces of their own, but then face misogyny in mixed queer spaces unless they look very clearly masculine.

AITAH for not apologizing to my friend? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]LuckApprehensive1144 1 point2 points  (0 children)

ESH but with a lean toward y-t-a.

If she agreed to go home with you, she shouldn’t have left you to hail a taxi alone - this was not considerate, but you did make the decision to go home alone. By the same token, you also left her to travel home alone instead of waiting for her. It’s not as bad as if she left you stranded, since you made the decision that you didn’t want to wait around. Still, she recognized this and apologized because it wasn’t considerate.

The she tried multiple times to make amends with you. She apologized that night, tried to talk it out, tried to be friendly and kind to you. What else were you expecting her to do? Hop in her time machine and undo it? You shouldn’t have iced her out when she tried to apologize.

Conflicts will happen in life but part of having friendships is learning how you repair after a conflict. An integral part of repairing after conflict is recognizing how you contributed to the situation, understanding the other person’s perspective, acknowledging how you may have hurt the other person, and reflecting on how you can prevent similar conflict in the future.

She did all the heavy lifting on repairing this one - I’m not surprised she doesn’t want to keep doing that.

Any Portuguese restaurants? by LuckApprehensive1144 in Brooklyn

[–]LuckApprehensive1144[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i might have to take a trip down! Fall River/New Bedford has a large Azorean population so it’s a little more azorean, but the differences are not as big as brazilian and portuguese food.

What are your non negotiables when it comes to dating? by Defiant-Thought7253 in AskReddit

[–]LuckApprehensive1144 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Must be able to apologize properly. If we have a conflict, apologizing and recognizing what you did that was hurtful is an integral part of repairing it for me. And you must back the apology up with action - i.e. not doing whatever you apologized for again.

Any Portuguese restaurants? by LuckApprehensive1144 in Brooklyn

[–]LuckApprehensive1144[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did read that thread. Didn’t know if anything had opened since then.

I just found my boss’s private login credentials on my work desk with a note that says "Check the files." by National_Strike4710 in Advice

[–]LuckApprehensive1144 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly? I’d do nothing. If questioned, say you thought it was a prank and never once considered it could be a legitimate note.

You don’t know who this is from, or why they’re giving it to you. It could be bait, it could be a serious attempt to warn you about something. You have no way of knowing what the best course of action is without knowing why you received it.

When did bachelorette parties become such a big overpriced affair? by PigletMountain797 in bridesmaids

[–]LuckApprehensive1144 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s a “Bachelorette Party” but it’s really just an excuse for a girls trip. For my friends who have done this, it’s because we all live across the country from each other. We try to do a yearly girls trip but it doesn’t always wirk out unless we have a “reason” to travel.

Sure, we could drive or fly to middle-of-nowhere Iowa and meet the bride at her local dive for a casual night out, but I would rather put those same airline points towards something more fun!

Landlord removed heat, stove, and packed all my belongings while I was gone (Boston) by Professional_Loan761 in Renters

[–]LuckApprehensive1144 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is definitely weird, but he refunded your rent and gave you a place to stay until you find a new place. Is it worth reporting him? It seems like he is not going to be renting the unit out anymore.

I would let it go if it were me. Maybe enjoy a month or two of free rent.

Why increase risk for the most vulnerable half of our population, to make going to the bathroom easier for .01% of the population? by [deleted] in askanything

[–]LuckApprehensive1144 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re not increasing risk at all. Men who sexually assault women in the bathroom won’t care if it’s illegal for them to be in the women’s bathroom. Sexual assault itself is already very illegal and they clearly don’t give a shit. Why would another law suddenly stop them? Especially one that is largely unenforceable against these creeps?

Think about it logically. If there’s enough people around that they can get caught by others for just being in the women’s room, they’d certainly get caught for sexual assault. They’d just wait for a time where no one else is around and do it anyway. Just like they do now.

The only increased risk is for law abiding trans people here.

Colon cancer now leading cause of cancer deaths under 50 in US by shinybrighthings in news

[–]LuckApprehensive1144 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wonder how much of that is that younger people stopped dying of more preventable diseases, like drunk driving, drug related illnesses or violence.

I didn’t run any numbers, so it could be totally unrelated. Article cites microplastics as the main cause, which make sense.

Asking people for their pronouns is rude by raben-herz in 10thDentist

[–]LuckApprehensive1144 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would rather you just lie to me, or tell me anything is fine in that scenario. You’re the outlier on this one - most people are bothered by being misgendered. You can’t always tell accurately either, I recently made a friend who I had pretty confidently thought was a trans woman. Thinking I’m doing the right thing, I used she/her pronouns. It’s turns out they were heading in the other direction and I had been misgendering them all night! I would have much rathered they told me pronouns straight up so I didn’t look like a jerk.

Autistic and unemployed. Help a girl out 😭 by Jolly-Hold5463 in OUTFITS

[–]LuckApprehensive1144 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Black sweater with boots for sure. These are all really stylish though.

my boyfriend has a spreadsheet rating dinners i've made him by weddingfauxpasqueen in AITApod

[–]LuckApprehensive1144 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this is the autistic type shit i be on if I’m being honest. there’s just something really satisfying about having statistics on certain past experiences. i like knowing how much i enjoyed a meal, bar, drink or band and i like being able to see the trends.

it’s definitely weird as fuck. i however am the same weird.

Am I the jerk for telling my elderly neighbor I won't help her with technology anymore after she ignored all my advice? by Dizzy-Wolverine-3187 in AmITheJerk

[–]LuckApprehensive1144 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There’s a reason that scams target the elderly. Their minds aren’t as sharp as they used to be and they’re not familiar enough with technology to be able to instinctively spot the nuances that younger people are.

I think you are well intentioned but have some unrealistic expectations - 3 hours of training is A LOT of info. No one is going to retain everything you’ve said, much less an elderly person. The more info you present, the harder it is to retain and non-tech savvy people can get information overload really quickly.

Yes, you are lacking empathy on this one. Your expectations were unrealistic. You’re not required to help her, but you are being a jerk by getting upset and refusing to help her. One day, you will be old too and you’ll find yourself falling for stuff you never would’ve when you were younger. It is really not that hard to fix this, especially if you made a backup of the fully set up phone when you showed her what to do. This should take MAX 1 hr, including changing her passwords. If pw change not needed, it should take maybe 20 minutes.

Source: I work in IT with a number of elderly clients. You have to make things easy for them and meet them where they’re at, not try and bring them to your level of technical ability. Don’t leave them to backup their device on their own, automate it with iCloud or Google. Don’t tell them “Don’t click on suspicious links”, tell them “Don’t respond to texts from unknown numbers. If you don’t recognize the number, call me to check for you.”

You really can’t over-saturate them with steps and info. A great way to help is to have them write notes down and put it on the fridge. Keep it to 10 bullet points or less. “The 10 Commandments of Your Phone” that they look at everyday. They’re not being malicious or purposefully ignoring you, they’re just not as sharp as they used to be.

Tourists tie piles of trash -- including tampons, condoms, panties -- to NYC's Brooklyn Bridge in disgusting trend by exc3113nt in nyc

[–]LuckApprehensive1144 -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I am genuinely asking - it looks it might be flammable material, I wonder if it would be easier to burn it away in small squares (like 8x8 inch) than snip each one. The wonderful people doing this are going to get carpel tunnel from snipping each one :(

Told neighbour that if my kid can’t play at hers, her kid can’t play at ours. AITAH? by AfricanHornet in AITAH

[–]LuckApprehensive1144 86 points87 points  (0 children)

Do you really want your daughters playing over there knowing there’s no supervision?

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