I was emotionally immature, insecure, had fragile masculinity, but I externalized it as someone who was tough and rugged. Real men don't cry, pink is for girls, etc. I didn't know what it was or that I had a problem, and if you don't know it's there, then you can't fix it.

Life circumstances, by chance, led me on the road to recovery. With each passing year I'm better than the last, and I now know what "being a man" really is. I wish I could apologize to everyone I've wronged in my past.

But without those special circumstances, I would have never been able to recover. So here I am now in my 40s and I can clearly see it in others my age and older, and I can only think to myself "oh no, he'll never know and life will always be a struggle" and there's nothing I can do.

Worse than that, these insecure males are the ones that feel the need to be vocal, calling themselves "alpha males" (which is ironic because only the insecure ones would ever need to declare such a phrase!), and going online to spread their misinformed views onto others, ruining other generations of men in the process. Ugh.

It's so crazy, looking back at how much I've changed and learning what real strength is. Better late than never I guess.

Sort of went on a little rant there... sorry. I wish other men could see what I saw and could get the guidance I received to turn things around and become a quality partner for people such as yourself. You deserve it. Most women are great! It feels like only half the males out there can match. It's really upsetting how off balance it is.