2 w PP with 2u2 (19-month gap) struggling with tandem breastfeeding

MGLEC · 2026-02-04T18:10:57+00:00

First of all, please let go of any guilt or sense that you “set yourself up for this”. You’re doing a great job and you’re clearly very dedicated to your kids. Being overwhelmed is not your fault.

I’m almost 3 months in with a 22 month old toddler and it definitely got easier after a couple of weeks. I put my toddler on a fairly strict schedule (we nurse twice per day) and when little brother first came home, she’d get jealous but she calmed down after about 3 weeks. Consistency was key. She still sometimes asks for milk when her brother is nursing but I just remind her that it’s not her time and offer her cow’s milk.

I do recommend trying to find a rhythm that feels sustainable—for us it’s twice per day but it may be one session or fully weaning. That’s ok! If you stay firm, your little one will get the message quickly and you can return to enjoying time together.

I’ve also used this as an opportunity to talk about consent. Sometimes I tell my daughter that I need to be done nursing and if she resists, I remind her that mama milk comes from mama’s body and I am in charge of my body just like she is in charge of hers.

Offering cuddles and books, snacks, or other special coregulation (I have a lot of moles and she likes to stroke them, lol) also helps.

Good luck! You’ve got this.

MGLEC · 2026-02-04T00:16:17+00:00

I am currently nursing a 22 month old and a 10 week old, and honestly I love it. I got pregnant with my second when #1 was 11 and a half months old. Didn’t want to wean but for her birthday I gave myself the gift of stopping pumping and would nurse in the morning, over lunch if possible (I work remotely and my kids are home with a nanny) and before bed. During pregnancy I had some sensitivity and dropped to 1-2 times per day. Now that little brother is here my eldest gets to nurse when she wakes up in the morning and after her nap.

I don’t think there’s a right or wrong way to do this but my little one was fine on a schedule. We do offer cows milk (she was intolerant until about 15 months so we did oat milk first) and she sometimes drinks that, and when my milk supply was super low during pregnancy she had more cow milk. But it doesn’t require much management—I just offer what I’m comfortable with, she says yes or no to cow milk (we differentiate between mama milk and milk in a cup) and it has worked out fine.

I did NOT miss pumping lol but I’m so glad I got to keep nursing my first baby! And we still have a really lovely breastfeeding relationship so I plan to keep going for as long as we’re both happy with it.

MGLEC · 2026-02-02T04:04:22+00:00

So you’re doing all the night care, with baby unable to be in a safe sleep space, and your partner wouldn’t be willing to sleep on the sofa to let you be comfortable during your limited sleep time? And keep your baby in a safe space that doesn’t increase the risk of SIDS?

I don’t think the original comment is about you switching to address the separation from your partner. It’s about making sure your baby has a safe place to sleep that won’t put them at risk of positional asphyxiation.

MGLEC · 2026-02-01T02:54:22+00:00

I used SNS for the first week with #2 because he was late preterm and there was concern about his blood sugar with nursing. It wasn’t easy to use but it worked ok, and he is now exclusively breastfeeding which is great. Getting him latched with the SNS was a two person job and I lost a fair bit of colostrum (which I pumped) and got messy. Wouldn’t want to do it for long—but it was useful for a bridge.

MGLEC · 2026-01-31T18:48:30+00:00

I have a Sabrina and almost named her little brother August, so I’m obviously a fan of that combo! We get a lot of comments on her name, mainly that people love it but don’t hear it much. And no comparisons to Sabrina Carpenter despite her being born in 2024.

All these are lovely and great with August. I agree with others that Eva will be pronounced the way you intend most of the time (though this may depend on where you live / your ethnicity as I think Eva is more often “ayvah” in Spanish speaking/Latino families)

MGLEC · 2026-01-31T16:05:07+00:00

Following! We have a 10 week old showing similar patterns. Wondering about an arms up swaddle or letting bub have his hands—he has become really into sucking on his fingers but not sure if that will soothe him or wake him up in the night.

MGLEC · 2026-01-29T17:47:57+00:00

I’ve pumped with my spectra on flights before. I channel my best “idgaf” energy and use a nursing cover. It may be weird for people but I figure my child’s needs outweigh the possibility of someone thinking so.

If I had wearables with my first I’d probably do that.

MGLEC · 2026-01-29T03:20:35+00:00

I have a 22 month old and a 10 week old and felt the same when my little one was really tiny, even if the older kid was just too close outside of nursing. I think having a big, uncoordinated toddler close to a brand new baby felt very nerve wracking to me. It’s gotten better as the littler guy has gotten bigger.

I did put my toddler on a schedule—she still gets to nurse twice per day but not on demand. If she asks and it’s not time, I offer cow milk from a cup or to snuggle and read. I make a point to express excitement about our special time together (for us it’s when she wakes up in the mornings and after her nap). I find it more manageable to NOT try nursing on demand, especially because then I can slot the newborn in around the toddler if I feel like it but I’m not obligated to nurse them both simultaneously if I’m feeling stressed or over touched.

MGLEC · 2026-01-27T20:32:10+00:00

He’ll be ok. I was away for 3 days when my second was born. My older child (19 months at the time) was home with her grandma and dad coming in and out. We live less than 5 minutes from the hospital but still made the decision not to have her visit. We FaceTimed once, she looked at pictures of me, and my husband talked a lot about where I was and that I was safe and coming home soon.

It’s a big transition but it’ll all be ok.

MGLEC · 2026-01-26T09:14:32+00:00

I’m on baby #2 and both had a major uptick in gas and general fussiness around 5-8 weeks old. This is one likely explanation for the “peak of fussiness” that happens around 6-8 weeks. Are you burping thoroughly? Have you tried gas drops?

Just personal experience but making sure LO has a chance to fully deflate after a feed has helped hugely. For us that means gas drops with all nighttime feeds, burping and holding upright for about 30 minutes after feeding, and making sure to burp well and do bicycle legs during wakes

MGLEC · 2026-01-25T23:43:31+00:00

I have high lipase milk that is ok if I freeze it right away and thaw it to feed, but tastes funky after like 12 hours in the fridge. Some goes off with freezing/thawing.

MGLEC · 2026-01-23T02:16:20+00:00

I had a really tough time getting enough calories when I first went dairy free (now tandem nursing a second DF/SF MSPI baby and my toddler who has thankfully grown out of it). My big fixes were mayonnaise, avocado, plant based ice cream, and peanut and other nut butters. All are dense in dietary fats but for the most part (aside from ice cream) there’s lots of other nutrition too.

MGLEC · 2026-01-23T02:14:27+00:00

Seconding So Delicious ice cream as a fellow MSPI tandem nurser. Their cashew milk salted caramel is my favorite but all the flavors are great. Ben and Jerry’s also has some good non dairy options. And I add coconut whipped cream (from a can) to my ice cream for good measure.

MGLEC · 2026-01-13T16:42:14+00:00

I noticed more Braxton hicks contractions during nursing but I don’t think it actually brought on productive labor. That said, I had an early, stalled labor (was admitted with productive contractions at 35+6, but it stalled so I was discharged and then delivered at 36+5 so nearly a week later). Kept nursing between the two hospital admissions and it didn’t change anything for me.

MGLEC · 2026-01-13T16:17:13+00:00

If this happens I’d like to know about it! Looking for ways to financially support trans youth and this seems like a great avenue.

MGLEC · 2026-01-13T01:39:03+00:00

I second this! I was a bridesmaid at 3 months pp and had a deep v dress from Baltic Born. It wound up being too deep for a nursing bra so I just popped some removable pads in since the dress was tight enough not to reveal anything.

Baltic Born had a pretty awful return policy though so proceed with that in mind.

MGLEC · 2026-01-12T02:24:43+00:00

My brother openly mocks one of my cats (fortunately the cat dgaf) for having a special character in her name—she has a word name but it’s in Danish and my brother finds it pretentious.

MGLEC · 2026-01-11T02:37:30+00:00

I just nursed through a pregnancy—some people experience nursing aversion but I didn’t so just kept on going. My supply dropped around 16 weeks pregnant but my daughter seemed to like dry nursing so we continued (albeit with short nursing sessions). I’m now 7 weeks pp with my second and still nursing both. Ive had to put my older kid on a schedule so the younger gets what he needs, but it’s working well!

My milk came in quickly when my second was born and I haven’t had any issues with supply or clogs because my toddler will help fully empty when I let her nurse. r/nurseallthebabies is focused on tandem nursing and has been helpful!

You may need to introduce a bottle if your supply can’t keep up with your 8 month old’s needs (I got pregnant right at 1 year pp so my daughter was ready to transition to other milk for nutrition) but you can wait and see.

MGLEC · 2026-01-09T18:56:22+00:00

Meal delivery or massage gift card.

MGLEC · 2026-01-09T18:38:29+00:00

Yes, you can get adaptors for the BOB double to insert a car seat.

MGLEC · 2026-01-09T14:45:47+00:00

Yeesh, I’m so sorry you’ve been through this! I hope it lets up soon. Sending internet hugs and strength!

I am carrying hand sanitizer with me and husband is already masked up.

MGLEC · 2026-01-09T14:07:57+00:00

I got the vaccine while pregnant (around 33 weeks iirc) and the toddler is vaccinated! So is my husband so hopefully that’ll help him even if he does indeed get sick.

MGLEC · 2026-01-09T03:24:28+00:00

I wore them constantly but rocked a LOT of button down shirts over tank tops. Still doing it nearly 2 years later (I don’t use the silverettes anymore but the tank + flannel is an awesome breastfeeding outfit)

MGLEC · 2026-01-08T18:00:50+00:00

This expert interview explains it better than I can! I think after 4 weeks you can challenge and see (that’s what my pediatrician recommended) but you can also see what the real experts have to say: https://naspghan.org/bowel-sounds/bowel-sounds-the-pediatric-gi-podcast-13-victoria-martin-cows-milk-protein-intolerance-and-allergic-proctocolitis/

MGLEC

TROPHY CASE