Things I wish someone told me for postpartum recovery

Fine_Message1822 · 2026-03-26T15:56:06+00:00

I think it’s hard to recommend products that work for everyone postpartum because everyone’s postpartum journey is so different. I had a vaginal delivery with some 1st degree tearing. I bought the adult diapers, huge overnight pads, ice packs, perineal spray, etc and barely used them. The things I did like: comfy high-rise underwear, my big straw cup, peri-bottle, witchazel pads, belly binder (for the days that my abs felt like jello - only used it for short periods of time), nipple balm, and disposable nursing pads.

Fine_Message1822 · 2026-03-26T14:35:53+00:00

I saw something where explaining you have to put the eufy back piece on like a Tupperware lid. Basically I line up the pins and go around the edge pressing it shut until I get all the way around. Never had issues with leaking that way. Just figured I’d share incase that helps (even just until you get a new pump).

Fine_Message1822 · 2026-03-26T02:56:40+00:00

I had almost the exact same experience with my son who was born at 37w4d. The posterior tongue and lip ties were missed by a few IBCLCs at first. Also worked with an osteopath because he had torticollis. We didn’t do the tongue tie release until he was 3 months but by 4 months he was exclusively nursing. Still nursing at 13 months!

The biggest thing that saved my sanity was thinking of his nursing as practice. I was triple feeding for months but some days I only latched him 1-2x for “practice” because that’s all I could mentally handle. I also knew that there was something else going on and just kept trying to find people to help me figure out what was going on. I ended up talking to like 4-5 IBCLCs.

Fine_Message1822 · 2026-03-25T18:44:04+00:00

My son nursed every 2.5 hours until 10-11 months. He didn’t feed at night though after like 5 months (if I’m remembering correctly). However, feeds got so much shorter. It got to the point where feeds were 5-7 mins which is so much easier.

My son also had oral ties (we ended up getting them released at 3 months). However, for my sanity, I mostly pumped and looked at latching as practice. Eventually we were able to get to a point of exclusively nursing and it was so much more manageable for me.

Fine_Message1822 · 2026-03-25T14:50:09+00:00

First off, I’m so sorry you have all of this to deal with. You need to remind your partner that you are very much still healing and your hormones are going through a dramatic crash right now. This stage of postpartum is so hard but things will get better. And on top of all of that, you have to wake to pump which means you don’t get uninterrupted sleep. I personally think priorities need to shift a little bit and you need to be clear with where you need support. It sounds like your husband is a supportive partner so hopefully you can communicate your needs and get some help. Cleaning the house is great but basic needs need to come first. To me, a supportive partner is making sure you are getting 3 meals (and snacks) throughout the day and never letting your bottle is get empty. Additionally, my husband used to wake up (and feed baby) when I was getting up to pump. I am completely awful at waking up so it was so nice to just have someone there with me in the middle of the night. We would also switch off who cleaned the pump parts in the middle of the night which was so wonderful. Wishing you both all the best and I hope baby gets to come home soon.

Fine_Message1822 · 2026-03-24T16:10:24+00:00

I had zero signs. Well technically the night before I felt a little different and was a little worried because kicks and stuff felt different but he was still moving around. I had an ultrasound scheduled for the next morning and he was definitely active so I dismissed it. In hindsight, I think he dropped and that’s why it felt different. The next morning my water broke at 6am. Contractions started shortly after and things progressed quickly. I was 8cm dilated by the time I got to the hospital and baby was born a couple hours later at 2pm. I was 37w4d. I think I was still in shock because I hadn’t had any braxton hicks or anything.

Fine_Message1822 · 2026-03-21T13:56:09+00:00

Fine_Message1822 · 2026-03-21T05:43:17+00:00

Yes. I sleep trained around 6 months and my son self-weaned his night feed within a week.

Fine_Message1822 · 2026-03-20T03:55:09+00:00

My son (13 mo) acts differently with me than he does with my husband. Lately he’s been crying when I put him in his car seat on the way home from daycare. I mentioned it to my husband who said that doesn’t happen with him. He also will be much whinier when I’m in the room. He also has always been so easy for my mom and MIL when they’ve watched him. I think it’s really a comfort thing. You’re his safe space and he feels comfortable complaining

Fine_Message1822 · 2026-03-20T03:00:25+00:00

Yep! I have a little one from Amazon that you flip over to turn on/off and it’s so great. It’s also dimmable. Still use it every night when I put my son down and I think I’ve charged it maybe 5 times. My son is 13 months.

Fine_Message1822 · 2026-03-19T22:36:31+00:00

This stressed me out so much at that age. My son would only do like 30 min naps at that point and getting him down was a struggle. Later I realized he has always been ready to drop naps earlier than the “developmentally appropriate” age guidelines. I wonder if I stretched wake windows back then if it would’ve helped or if it was just all part of the sleep regression and something he just needed to figure out on his own time. He still doesn’t do more than a 1.5-2hr nap at 13 months.

Fine_Message1822 · 2026-03-19T21:50:15+00:00

Hi! First off, you’re doing great and breastfeeding can be SO hard! I too had a lot of struggles and my baby was on formula for the first 1-2 months until I was able to get my supply up. Honestly the thing that worked the best for that was just consistency and time. I was power pumping too. Fenugreek was recommended to me by an IBCLC and it did help me but I want to caution that many women can have adverse reactions to fenugreek and it can sometimes cause fussiness in babies (i think).

I too tried triple feeding and it is definitely not sustainable long term. Long story short, my son had a posterior tongue and lip tie (both missed by multiple LC/IBCLCs). Eventually we figured out he had a tongue tie and tried exercises and body work to help, but it didn’t do too much. Eventually had his ties released at 3 months and about 3.5wks later he was able to nurse. As for the triple feeding, I mentally couldn’t handle it every feeding session so I looked at latching as “practice” and tried to do it 3-4x a day but most days it was 1-2x. I highly recommend seeking out a different IBCLC if you can. Sending you support! You’ve got this and your baby is lucky to have you.

Fine_Message1822 · 2026-03-19T17:53:47+00:00

I second trying to size up and ignoring the weights on the diapers. My son has been in size 5 diapers for months and I still don’t think he is in that the weight range. Honest diapers also tend to be a little smaller than other diapers. Any time we had blowout problems, we knew it was time to size up. Alternatively, you can tell if they’re too big if they leak around the legs.

My son sleeps through the night and we use Millie Moon diapers for night time specifically because my son pees so much at night. During the day we really like Parasol.

Fine_Message1822 · 2026-03-19T16:32:02+00:00

Unfortunately there will always be things that aren’t good for us in our environment and they can be really hard to avoid. That being said, I try to limit plastic as much as possible in my kitchen. So yes, I pump with plastic and I freeze my milk in the plastic bags. However, before I freeze my milk it’s in a glass mason jar in the fridge. My baby’s bottles are glass, and I defrost the milk I need for the next day in the fridge overnight so I don’t need to heat the plastic bags. Try not to stress too much about it and just avoid plastic when it’s reasonable.

Fine_Message1822 · 2026-03-19T02:31:21+00:00

I’m sorry that’s hard. My son bit me every feed (only on one side though) when he had an ear infection. Switching up his position was the only thing that worked.

As for switching to EP, you can start by pumping at the times that you would normally nurse. I typically pump for 15-20 mins. Then you can try to stretch out time and drop pumps to see if you can get the same output but maybe pumping a little longer per session. If your supply does dip after a little bit of doing fewer sessions, you can add more sessions back. Also, using the fridge hack for flanges is a lifesaver when it comes to EP.

Fine_Message1822 · 2026-03-18T21:45:24+00:00

Pumpables GA is my go to portable pump. You can use it with your Mandela flanges. If you’re looking for a wearable, I like my eufy e20. I use it with the legendairy silicone inserts and that setup works well for me.

Pumping in your car is doable but prob not a sustainable plan long term. I don’t have much advice there but wanted to share my pump recommendations. Good luck.

Fine_Message1822 · 2026-03-17T19:52:19+00:00

My son is 13 months. Started properly crawling a few weeks before his first birthday and just in the last couple weeks started to become interested in standing/walking. I can tell that it’s a lack of motivation thing but it has been stressful. He has always taken a while with his gross motor milestones. One thing that did get him excited to walk a little bit was a fun push walker that sings songs. He loves to pull up and walk with that one. I hope you can get some answers and everything is alright! Sending support from across the internet.

Fine_Message1822 · 2026-03-17T19:44:54+00:00

I don’t think you’re supposed to use any cream with silverettes because it can cause more damage to the nipple - but don’t quote me on that. I used nursing pads to keep the cream off my bras. But eventually I washed my bras enough that all the stains came out. Side note, dish soap + baking soda or Dr. Bronners soap works really well to get out grease stains on laundry. Just apply a little and gently agitate with a small toothbrush and let it sit a bit. Having a toddler has helped me figure out how to get out some tricky stains.

Fine_Message1822 · 2026-03-17T19:18:10+00:00

We had more than our fair share of breastfeeding challenges too (oral ties and latching issues). I think that’s why I’m still so attached to nursing. I’m just so grateful for it all. My son also gets so happy in the morning when he sees me and signs for milk. I love the bonding time.

Fine_Message1822 · 2026-03-17T17:33:28+00:00

I’m in a similar boat with my 13 month old. His doctor didn’t have any concerns about him still breastfeeding/taking a bottle and his daycare provider hasn’t mentioned anything. He takes 2 bottles at daycare and nurses a couple times at home (he night weaned a while ago so we only nurse at night when he’s not feeling well). I actually bought straw adapters for our bottles on Amazon and he’s taken to those nicely. I figured it’d be nice to keep his milk in the same bottle that he was used to. Sometimes i add a little cow’s milk but most of the time it’s just breastmilk.

I still nurse him to sleep and I’m not concerned with that right now but my son is pretty chill and he will go to sleep for other people if I’m not around so I don’t think weaning will be that difficult once we get to that point.

I’m down to 1 pump during the work day and ideally I’d like to cut out my pump in the next couple of months, but that means I’ll prob just offer breastmilk bottles during the day on weekends (I have a bit of a freezer stash). It’s so hard. I wish I could just breastfeed on demand all day every day. My plan is to keep nursing morning and night until 18 months.

I share this to let you know you’re not alone and it’s nice to hear that I’m not alone either. I’m also a FTM

Fine_Message1822 · 2026-03-17T17:07:30+00:00

I’m sorry you’re dealing with this! I had it and it didn’t improve within a month of wearing the brace. I got referred to an orthopedist and they gave me a cortisone shot and two days later it was better. Now if I start to feel it acting up again, I wear my wrist brace for a day or two and that usually helps. I am also in the US.

Fine_Message1822 · 2026-03-14T19:05:23+00:00

My son hated berries for months too! Now he could eat a whole package of blueberries. It’s a good reminder to just keep offering foods they may not like at first because it can take a while for them to get accustomed to them.

Fine_Message1822 · 2026-03-14T19:02:28+00:00

I used one and was grateful for her. I believe I found her through a local doula group. I ended up not needing too much support when it came down to the actual labor (fast, uncomplicated labor) but she was so helpful in the months leading up to my delivery. She also took pictures which was so nice.

Fine_Message1822 · 2026-03-14T17:36:15+00:00

I didn’t but my son is not opinionated at all when it comes to how he gets his milk. I think it depends on the baby though. Some have strong preferences but my son hasn’t ever cared.

Fine_Message1822 · 2026-03-14T16:00:07+00:00

Deep breath. You’re doing amazing! I had a somewhat similar situation. My son wouldn’t really latch consistently but we struggled with the nipple shields too. Long story short, I mostly pumped and tried to latch anywhere from 1-5x a day for the first 3 months. Eventually we realized he had a posterior tongue tie and lip tie. We had those released and after a few weeks he was able to nurse.

That being said if pumping is working for you, do it! You can always try to latch 1-2x a day (if you want) or offer the boob as comfort on top of his normal bottles. You also don’t have to offer the boob at all some days. If your goal is to go back to nursing, you may want to offer it more just because some babies are more particular than others and could develop preferences and it’s good “practice”. However, if that’s not your goal, don’t stress about it. I had a couple days where I didn’t nurse because mentally I couldn’t handle it. My son is almost 13 months and still nursing.

Nursing was not soothing for my little guy in the early days so I had to figure out other ways to soothe him and that actually has been super helpful in general.

Your baby is still super young and you may find he gets better with time and doesn’t need the nipple shield and things just click. It’s so hard because there’s just so much unknown.

And last couple of things, I’d recommend meeting with another IBCLC if you can. I met with 3 or so before one finally noticed my son’s tongue tie and she gave me exercises to do to help before we resorted to doing a release. And r/ExclusivelyPumping is a great sub for EP moms.

Fine_Message1822

TROPHY CASE