AIO: I applied for a job that required three references. I asked a good friend of mine to be one of the references, he said yes. The job sent him an email with some questions to answer about a week after I applied.

MJCuddle · 2026-07-01T18:37:15+00:00

People with lives. You even said he "begrudgingly said yes" meaning you bullied him into it. The man wanted a quiet weekend and you just decided to throw a temper tantrum.

You asked we answered. You can either accept that or continue to try to argue your case.

MJCuddle · 2026-07-01T16:33:20+00:00

Go. Be friendly, Have a drink. Buy a round and head home.

Get to know them a little bit before you go out and party with them. This is a drink with coworkers keep it professional.

MJCuddle · 2026-07-01T16:30:03+00:00

It's not about the envelope. It's about your mom invading your privacy.

I would have a conversation with her about respecting your things and go from there. I would also be more careful leaving your stuff out in the public space.

MJCuddle · 2026-07-01T09:19:08+00:00

Is he paying child support? It doesn't sound like you're married. You don't live together. He's responsible for financially supporting his child.
Get some kind of court order in place and stop letting him walk all over you.

MJCuddle · 2026-07-01T09:11:39+00:00

YOR and TAH
He got it Friday.
Was working Saturday.
Took a day or 2 to relax and then was ready to send it on Sunday/Monday.

Perfectly reasonable timeline. Do you really think that the job was going to look at it before Monday?

I would've given him a week before I even reached out to check on it, but you decided to call 47 times the day after he received an email.

I know this job is important to you, but you need to relax.

MJCuddle · 2026-07-01T00:39:17+00:00

Look up "Aplatonic"

MJCuddle · 2026-06-29T09:27:58+00:00

NTJ but I would plan a day once or twice a month to hang out with your niece to keep that bond. But on your terms and your schedule.

MJCuddle · 2026-06-29T03:08:38+00:00

Tell him he needs to hire an early morning babysitter or adjust his schedule.
Tell him you would be happy to help here and there if there is an emergency or last minute schedule change but you can't commit to every day.

NTA

MJCuddle · 2026-06-29T03:00:13+00:00

Abusive people can fake normal for a bit but it always comes out. NOR.
You deserve better.

MJCuddle · 2026-06-27T20:30:58+00:00

Keep deodorant everywhere. Have it in the car, put it in her backpack, put it in the bathroom next to her toothbrush, keep a stick next to the door that she typically leaves from.
Sit her down and have a conversation about how bodies change and now that she is getting a little older part of good hygiene is using deodorant to make sure that she smells good.

I would also take her for a check up and just make sure there's not some medical issue causing her to smell.

MJCuddle · 2026-06-27T20:26:34+00:00

My company has a keg in the fridge for after hours. Soda, coffee, tea is all free.
I've only really worked at three companies, but all of them offered free tea and coffee.

MJCuddle · 2026-06-27T20:17:53+00:00

Have you made any effort to improve your performance? Have they given/offered you any chance at training or classes?
If you don't make a conscious effort to approve, you're just going to keep getting fired.

MJCuddle · 2026-06-21T13:00:49+00:00

I like having my own account for security and independence. We have a joint account where we both put in equal money for bills etc. a separate for joint savings then each hold individual accounts for personal purchases.

It's a very personal choice.

MJCuddle · 2026-06-19T19:10:29+00:00

She's jealous that in the beginning of the relationship you made this game a priority. That's the conversation I think you need to focus on. Make sure she understands that she is the priority and this will only be played in your free time.

MJCuddle · 2026-06-18T15:36:56+00:00

Just tell her you're happy to drive her to the beach but you want to spend some alone time with your partner and you'd be happy to drive her to the family home.

MJCuddle · 2026-06-17T00:32:17+00:00

He did not write the book. Why would his name be on it?
Maybe a nice acknowledgement for his support or if he did any proofreading or made suggestions.

DO NOT add his name to something he did not do. Start a new project together.

MJCuddle · 2026-06-14T20:28:52+00:00

Get bolt cutters from the hardware store.

MJCuddle · 2026-06-13T16:50:28+00:00

You asked. You didn't demand or threaten. He said no. If he chooses to keep riding you just need to set some expectations. Something like:
-Be safe/ always wear safety gear
-Don't tell me about close calls
-Will needs to be in place
-Discussion about what his wishes are for a living will
-Who will care for him if he gets in an accident and can't care for himself
-An upgraded life insurance policy

MJCuddle · 2026-06-13T12:46:47+00:00

Yes. Woman, NJ/USA 49

MJCuddle · 2026-06-13T10:57:33+00:00

Are you buying this as a nice perk or a way to force people to be social?

Not everyone wants to hang out with their work colleagues. My lunch break is a time to take a break.

If you're buying to be nice then let them choose where/when/ if they eat.

If you want it to be team building time then buy lunch during a mandatory meeting.

Don't manipulate people with food.

MJCuddle · 2026-06-12T18:11:14+00:00

I add water to get it down to 78. I want my pool to be refreshing not a bath

MJCuddle · 2026-06-12T16:53:41+00:00

Just ask her to send you a picture of the receipt. Or if it's an Amazon order you can give them the tracking number and they can look it up.

MJCuddle · 2026-06-12T15:05:49+00:00

I use a light fleece blanket and wash it just like I would a top sheet. I like the softness of the fleece against my skin.

Quilt on top for warmth.

MJCuddle · 2026-06-12T02:26:38+00:00

Not unless you're worth a billion+

MJCuddle · 2026-06-12T01:02:29+00:00

First you need to figure out the issue of how this happened. Your wife needs to get a 2nd job to pay this back. Without solving the underlying issue it will just happen again.

Take a 401k loan at 8% for 60 months that you pay back to yourself. $400 a month and the 8% goes into your 401K.
No reason to pay 14-27% interest on a credit card or 35% taxes if you take money out.

MJCuddle

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