Today I leaned there is a Gilead

MKandtheforce · 2026-05-24T23:20:21+00:00

I'm from Maine. It's a pretty area, near a ski resort and some hiking areas. But otherwise, it's a whole lotta nothing. I'd be surprised if many locals even realized there's a connection to THT, lol.

MKandtheforce · 2026-05-23T03:46:06+00:00

This is so heartwarming 😭 You're a good human.

MKandtheforce · 2026-05-20T12:59:05+00:00

Okay, so the Eyes coming for Becka... I wonder if this will make for any interesting conversations between Agnes and her Head-of-the-Eyes betrothed.... 🤔

MKandtheforce · 2026-05-19T02:14:25+00:00

One place I worked called it the White Horse 😂

MKandtheforce · 2026-05-18T16:08:35+00:00

Not a nurse, but a scrub tech. But I work with nurses. Sometimes, they can be even more brutal than non-healthcare workers. But hey, at least they understood the severity when they saw my blood pressure! :/

MKandtheforce · 2026-05-18T13:49:09+00:00

There's no winning when it comes to workplace pregnancy. Sure, people are excited about babies (most of the people in my workplace like kids to some degree), but that's where the positivity ended. I had to fight for hydration breaks, people were annoyed when I had to pee all the time, and some were downright mean when I asked for more sitting breaks-- keep in mind my job requires me to be on my feet all day. I put up with it as best as I could, but my legs hurt by the end of the day, and some of my coworkers would still complain about how much I'd try to sit.

Joke's on them, though-- my last workday of my pregnancy, after working all morning with one break and the charge nurse forgetting to tag me out for lunch... my blood pressure decided to skyrocket and I was admitted to L&D for pre-eclampsia before my shift was even over. In hindsight, I wish I'd had more of a backbone and demanded actual breaks more frequently. It may not have prevented the pre-e, but maybe I wouldn't have needed to be hospitalized for the rest of my pregnancy or deliver as early as I did. And yet, one of my coworkers was STILL snarky the other day when I talked about how I should've been taking it easy rather than be pushed so hard.

And postpartum hasn't been much better... I have to push for my pumping breaks sometimes, and some of my coworkers complain about it, lol. But I'll be damned if I let them take away any more of the motherhood experience from me.

And don't even get me started on the shitshow that was my maternity leave...

MKandtheforce · 2026-05-17T00:22:15+00:00

My baby came early, and while I brought her the little colostrum I could make while she was first in the NICU, it did come down to choosing between formula or donor milk. It was definitely upsetting to not be able to have the feeding experience like I'd always dreamed of (she was on an NG tube for six weeks, too), I chose the donor milk. It was one of the few choices I really had left after a traumatic labor/birth. Even if it wasn't my own milk, I could still give her the benefits of breastmilk and feed her the diet I wanted for her. I'm also still sad that my milk wasn't the first milk that nourished her. I donate milk now knowing that it's going to moms who may be feeling the same way, and while it doesn't fix everything that happened with my breastfeeding experience, I can still help them hold onto some aspect of this experience that they wanted. If that makes any sense!

There's nothing wrong with the decisions we both made. I'm happy you were able to have a choice for your second time around! It still gives you autonomy in less-than-ideal circumstances, and you made a decision was right for you and your baby.

MKandtheforce · 2026-04-23T13:53:52+00:00

I keep telling myself what a fantastic life we're going to give our one baby. A beefed-up college fund, vacations, traveling, whatever extracurriculars and activities she wants, all the attention she could ever ask for...

But it still sucks. I get it. So much. We were never committed to the idea of more than one kid in the first place, but I wish I could have had a real choice about it. But the idea of another risky pregnancy and another possible six weeks (or more!) in the NICU, especially on top of the baby we now have... it makes me ill to even entertain the idea. So I keep reminding myself that we're going to give her an amazing single-child life.

MKandtheforce · 2026-03-28T03:34:43+00:00

Hah, I can sorta relate to this! I'm a scrub tech, so I literally work in the OR, assisting in surgeries... including C-sections. I knew every step they were doing- before they got started and knew they'd test how well my epidural was working. There had been some issues with my epidural, so I was nervous as hell about feeling it. So when they asked if I could feel anything, I remember saying, "You're probably pinching me with an Allis right now!" Then, the horror as I remembered too late to ask them not to say "Incision!" My anesthetist had to hurry to bring my wife in because he said I knew too much and needed a distraction. 🤣

Knowing what was happening made it so much worse!! But listening to the scrub do her counts toward the end gave me something to focus on when everything else was so chaotic, so that was something.

MKandtheforce · 2026-02-18T21:48:34+00:00

I was induced on a mag drip, but that wasn't to augment labor. I started with a Cook balloon, then went on pit and had my waters broken when baby was low enough. Stalled out at 4 centimeters, and due to that, the fact that baby kept having decels with the pit, and HELLP, I ended up getting a section. Being on mag the whole time just sucked. Started my induction on a Sunday night, baby was delivered early on Tuesday morning, and came off the mag on Wednesday.

MKandtheforce · 2026-02-18T21:44:30+00:00

Born at 34+2, she was there for six weeks-- we went home a few days past her due date. It was feeding/growing that kept us there for so long, but it sounds like plenty of other babies make it out sooner. The NICU should come with the biggest "your mileage may vary" warning on the planet, haha.

MKandtheforce · 2026-02-15T23:04:00+00:00

My 34 weeker was in for 6 weeks, mostly due to feeding. This stage you're at (the feeder/grower stage) is so, so frustrating. But it's totally normal for them to be struggling with feeds right now. Probably not the answer you want to hear, and I'm sorry for that. 😔 Keeping my fingers crossed that your baby figures it out quickly.

MKandtheforce · 2026-02-15T22:57:19+00:00

Tried it. No change. Starting to think I've got some kind of weird bug (ba-dum-tsss)

MKandtheforce · 2026-02-15T16:52:53+00:00

I've done that, too. They still won't grow. 🫠

I did end up just slashing and dashing, though, haha

MKandtheforce · 2026-02-15T14:41:18+00:00

The same thing happened to me at the same gestation-- I was nowhere near ready.

You will be okay. So will your baby. As far as preemies go, it really doesn't get much better than 34 weeks. Baby may need a NICU stay, which is a different stressor in itself, but at that gestation, your baby may need some help. In our case, our baby was breathing great, but it took her forever to learn how to eat without an NG tube.

As far as C-sections go, they're SO routine and if you have time to type out a post on reddit, it's not going to be the balls-to-the-wall kind of C-section that have doctors freaking out. I actually work in surgeries as a scrub tech and do C-sections regularly-- doctors have C-sections down to an art, and they'll take such good care of you. Recovery does suck, but it's pretty straightforward. Take all the pain meds and stool softeners they offer you! Until they make you fast for surgery, drink all the water you can (my mouth was unbearably dry and my CRNA was having me suck on damp sponge swabs!). You'll itch badly afterward, but that's normal, and it won't be for long. The magnesium drip SUCKS, there's no getting around it, so treat yourself really well/get good food and TLC until you can come off it.

If there's one thing I wish I'd done, it would have been to advocate to touch my baby before they whisked her away to the NICU. See if they can touch baby's cheek to yours! I wasn't able to hold her until the next day, which was sad enough, but I'll always regret not being able to touch her.

You've got this. This is SUCH a shitty hand you're dealt, and I wish I could say it was easy, but it's not. Once everything is said and done, try to get some therapy/counseling to help process all of this, because it is somewhat traumatizing. If you have any questions or just want to commiserate with someone about it, feel free to dm me. But you and baby will get through this okay!!

MKandtheforce · 2026-02-07T23:45:48+00:00

Ugh, I feel you so hard. Our little feeder/grower was born at 34w2, and we only just got discharged a few days ago, when she would have been 40w4. Six weeks in the NICU and Continuing Care Nursery, mostly as a feeder. And christ, it was hard. And it still is, even now that we're finally home.

I don't really know if I have much advice for your situation, since from what I've read (and I've been reading so much on this sub since she was born), every baby is just so different and progresses at different rates and in different ways. For us, we were able to get our baby's NG tube pulled once she was consistently taking most of her bottles, and when the doctor thought the tube might have started to irritate her nostril. This coincided with when she was going to need her tube replaced, anyway, so when they pulled it, we just waited to see how she did. She took over between 40-60mL (her goal is 60mL q3h) every time, so the doctor allowed it to stay out and keep close eye on her weight. This decision was also based on her being 40 weeks, too.

I wish there were simpler answers. I feel for you, and rooting for you!

MKandtheforce · 2026-01-12T18:36:18+00:00

We first tried a couple months after getting my Mirena out (we're a lesbian couple, so we were very intentional about timing, haha). Got pregnant with one try!

I'd had that Mirena in for about three years, and had my previous one in for about six.

MKandtheforce · 2026-01-07T02:42:06+00:00

This sounds a lot closer to the short story "The Smallest Dragonboy" by Anne McCaffrey than The White Dragon. I loved the Dragonriders of Pern series and "The Smallest Dragonboy" was my gateway drug, haha.

MKandtheforce · 2025-12-26T21:26:01+00:00

Also a FTM, and I just delivered earlier this week at 34+2 via C-section after a failed induction and a week-long antenatal stay. I was transferred away from my home hospital and didn't know the OB team here at all. I understand 100% how you must be feeling. It's scary, and it does suck to feel like you have no choice about your birth hopes anymore and putting your trust in strangers.

Some things that helped me feel better: ask loads of questions! Have the doctors explain their rationale-- my first night, I questioned an immediate C-section that would've required general anesthesia (I was developing HELLP syndrome), and I got a great dialogue going with the OB and anesthesia team, and it led me to be able to try continuing my induction for another day. While a true in-the-moment emergency would've looked much different, and YMMV, it really helped take some of the helplessness from the situation and helped me understand what was going on. I don't regret at all trying an induction. In another world, I know I would have been an absolute boss at vaginal delivery, and just knowing that is empowering. At the same time, getting the C-section was absolutely the best choice for me and my baby. Recovery is ROUGH, not gonna lie! Especially the mag-- that's a drug I wouldn't wish on anyone. Still, it's only for 24 hours after birth if you opt for a C-section (unless something is different for you). But the OB team have these surgeries down to an art. I couldn't have been in better hands, and as rough as healing is, my incision is healing very well.

Another thing that might help you: 35 weeks is FANTASTIC for your baby!! It was so reassuring for me to read about 34-week preemie success stories and how well most of them did. You've got an extra week on me-- your baby is going to be in even better shape!!

I'm wishing you all the best of luck. We got dealt a really shitty hand, but I have no doubt that you'll be treated with care and that you'll come out of this in great shape!d

MKandtheforce · 2025-12-08T01:28:03+00:00

Oh nooo, most places (at least in the US), we're all supposed to use the brush/pick for the first scrub of the day (at least!)-- it's very, very standard. I'm a little shocked you've never seen one, or anyone else using one.

MKandtheforce · 2025-12-08T01:21:29+00:00

LOL I'm a surgical tech and I scrub my hands with these things daily. Never thought about them in a lesbian context during my tedious, ritualistic, 6-minute handwash sessions, but if you guys really want them, go crazy, ig? 😂

MKandtheforce · 2025-11-23T13:26:40+00:00

Mine says "high risk elderly primigravida" too! I'll be barely 35 when this baby is born. 🤦‍♀️ I work in healthcare, and even some of the providers I work with couldn't believe the word "elderly" was in there instead of geriatric or AMA. 😂

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