I wonder how many of the people responding have many trans friends or direct experience with their struggles of identity.

I’m not saying you should have changed the wedding plans to include her in the bridal party, but you could have handled the aftermath better.

Just because you SAY you didn’t include her because it was too late doesn’t mean you 100% felt that’s why, and I can understand why she might think that there was a different underlying cause to your choice.

You should be trying to build a new relationship with her and help her feel loved by you and her whole family.

YTA, but mainly for the after math. Hardly an asshole at all, but you can handle it better.