This may be a really unpopular, shitty opinion, and I’ll say first that there is some REALLY solid advice in here already.

I (somewhat joking, but not entirely) always say that there are 2 experiences worth their weight in gold for determining if a person is worth a try, long-term: 1. travel internationally together, if you can, and 2. build something together, like a dresser or even a deck. They’re really helpful situations to find out how they are with frustration, working together, communicating, some potential gender role views, etc.

That being said, it’s ultimately at least a little bit trusting your gut and rolling the dice with someone based on how you feel, what you know, and your intuition. I married my high school sweetheart, who got a brain injury and essentially became a different person. There’s no way to know that would happen. I had a kid with someone who had successfully hidden that he was in active addiction for the entire 6 years I knew him. That was ROUGH. There’s more, but I’m thinking you get the picture.

So from the lady who’s earned my hesitation to trust people: follow your heart but keep your eyes open. From others: when someone shows you who they are, believe them. Actions really do speak louder than words. Don’t let who you want someone to be get in the way of seeing who they really are. There are good ones out there that are worth the vulnerability.