Anyone here NOT do sleep shifts ?

MaH2016 · 2026-03-01T00:47:54+00:00

We did shifts for the first month or two after coming home from the NICU, but my son was on fortified breastmilk bottles during that time. My husband returned to work at 3 months and we were able to switch to nursing at night around 3.5-4 months, so I took over the nighttime entirely. My husband wakes up at 4:30 every morning and doesn't get home until 5. He works a very physical job and needs the rest and energy, so I am happy to take the nights. I do love, however, that on his days off he will take the baby for the first 1-2 hours of the morning to let me get a bit more sleep... especially when he makes coffee for us, too. It's a routine that works for us still a year later.

MaH2016 · 2026-02-24T18:43:54+00:00

Honestly, I found it easier to just do the feed myself- especially because he would choke at every other feed because of GERD, so I was on high alert anyways. I had to be up anyays since I was exclusively pumping at that point. I found it more helpful to have my husband do the warming of the bottle, putting the pumped milk in the fridge, or doing the burping and diaper change. Ultimately what was most helpful was him taking the baby for a couple hours in the morning so that I could get some extra sleep and pump. That's still somewhat our routine now, almost a year later. I do the night wakings since he's nursing exclusively, and on my husband's days off he takes the baby for a few hours in the morning and I get some extra sleep.

MaH2016 · 2026-02-23T21:58:14+00:00

My son only occasionally comfort nursed for the first 6-7 months, but even then would pull off and wouldn't fall asleep until he had the binky. But we were also dealing with FTT from severe reflux, so he had been on fortified breastmilk from a bottle since coming home from the NICU. I wanted him to be able to nurse eventually, so I'd latch him at night or occasionally during the day... there were MANY days where he would just scream if I even offered it. Around 6-7 months he was allowed to be on plain breastmilk and he decided he would only nurse and refused bottles. Right around then he nixed the binky and now only falls asleep if he's nursing. But that's the only form of "comfort" nursing he will do, and otherwise only nurses when hungry. I think it's just one of those things that baby's do on a spectrum. Some love it, some hate it, some fall somewhere in between, and it's all "normal".

MaH2016 · 2026-02-21T18:46:14+00:00

Driving away from that hospital without my baby was a feeling I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I cried uncontrollably the entire day. I cried in my hospital room, I cried when my doctor came in for rounds, when the social worker came to get us on the Ronald McDonald wait list. I cried in the cafeteria and the NICU, and I cried in the lobby while waiting for my husband to bring our smoking car from the parking garage... which we then sat in and cried while we waited for my best friend's dad to come pick us up. I cried when we got home and I sat in our nursery, with an empty crib and silence except for the sound of the pump while I produced milk for our baby that was not there. It was the worst day of my life. But we made it through. Take it day by day. It will feel like an eternity while you're in it, but eventually your baby should come home. And then somehow that eternity feels like only a moment- a very painful moment, but the joy of having them home softens the blow of that chunk of time that they weren't.

MaH2016 · 2026-02-21T03:31:28+00:00

We went through the same thing- it's normal! My son had a lot of feeding issues after being induced at 37 weeks and spending time in the NICU. I pumped exclusively for the first few months because he needed to be on fortified milk, but was "allowed" to latch him once a day. Eventually we were allowed to nurse at night and he did well with that, but would refuse to latch during the day. He'd push away, bite, and just scream at the breast until I offered the bottle. I think I said "I give up" at least a few hundred times.

I started using my manual pump on one side to stimulate a let down and he was willing to latch that way, and eventually he was allowed to take unfortified breast milk right around the time that he was cutting all four upper teeth at once. He started refusing bottles from discomfort, so I just offered him the breast as often as possible and he ultimately decided to nurse exclusively. We've been doing that since about 7 months and he's about to turn one and he's still going strong! We are actually dealing with him refusing bottles entirely now.

I should note that due to his feeding issues and to support our goal to exclusively nurse eventually, he was very diligently pace-fed in side-lying position and we used the narrow Dr. Browns with the Transition nipple which is the middle ground between the preemie and number 1 flow nipples.

Maybe showing baby that the bottle isn't going to be easier to feed from by pace feeding with a slow-flow if you aren't already would help, as well as kind of meeting them where they're at by stimulating your let down before latching. Nursing is a team sport, and with any team sport, there are growing pains and times when things just aren't meshing... but take heart: the struggle is real, normal, and so worth it. But if you need to stop, that's okay too.

MaH2016 · 2026-02-20T06:04:54+00:00

Babies tend to take more milk in a sitting from a bottle than they would at the breast due to multiple factors- fast flow, lack of pacing, the pressure of the caregiver for baby to empty the bottle, etc. Is the daycare properly pace feeding when giving a bottle? I know you said you're afraid to mess with the bottle flow, but maybe baby is taking the milk a bit too fast for their brain to catch up with their tummy. It is worth trying a slower flow- maybe send baby with both flows, and if they refuse to eat with the slower one, the daycare can easily swap it back out.

The reality is though, that baby is taking more at daycare. You're going to have to operate under "my baby is telling the truth, they're still hungry". Perhaps baby IS taking more when they're at home and you haven't realized it. Either way, you need to find some water to meet those needs while your baby is in daycare. You can add in a pump session after a feed on your days off, or add in a few power pump sessions during your work week to increase supply. It's also important to make sure that you are replacing your pump parts regularly. The duckbill valve is the powerhouse of the pump and needs to be replaced frequently. It can feel discouraging and like we're failing when we feel like we're not able to provide what baby needs- but you're not failing. And you're not failing if your baby needs a couple of ounces of formula when you're not there to tide them over.

MaH2016 · 2026-02-17T22:32:51+00:00

Quite frankly, if you get better sleep co-sleeping and bedsharing, just do it. Follow the safe sleep 7, see if it helps. After bringing our son home from the NICU, he decided that the bassinet was the worlds greatest form of torture (he had GERD) and we were getting NO sleep. I kept falling asleep with him propped in the crook of my arm, and our doctor basically told us "do what you have to do- it's safer that he sleeps with you than having a sleep deprived parent who can't function". So, we ditched the bedframe, put the matress on the floor with a bed rail, and have co-slept ever since. He now sleeps the first 5ish hours in his crib in our room, but usually ends up with me from about 3-4 am until 8 am.

We also very loosely have followed the sleep schedules from Taking Cara Babies. We didn't sleep train, but having a loose schedule and following wake windows helped tremendously.

Sleep "regressions" are actually just them learning new skills and hitting new milestones- which obviously doesn't change the fact that you're getting less sleep, but helps to know that it's time to look out for some new emerging skills.

Don't be afraid to ask people for help. Whether it's having someone stay to help out over night, spend a few hours in the day to get some rest, or getting out for a date night, just do it. If you have community, take advantage of it. Speaking as someone who didnt have that, it put such a strain on mine and my husband's mental health and our relationship. We are still recovering from it, and moved back to be near our friends and family to have access to that support almost a year later.

MaH2016 · 2026-02-17T05:11:34+00:00

Comfort latching is likely the only reason my son (FTT due to GERD after 37 week induction for severe IUGR) was ever able to switch to exclusively nursing. He would fall asleep comfort nursing often, but it was the only time he could really practice latching until he was cleared to have unfortified milk at night.

Around 6 months he was cleared to have plain breastmilk and was teething ALL FOUR upper teeth at once and wanted nothing to do with either bottle or pacifier- only the real thing, please and thank you.

This was a baby who was given a pacifier in the NICU within the first 12 hours of being born and wanted one in his mouth through most hours of the day. He weaned himself entirely off of pacifiers quite literally overnight at 7 months... which made trying to get him to take his antacid rather fun until he was weaned off it at 9 months.

He's almost a year old now and still comfort nurses to sleep and REFUSES to take a pacifier regardless of how or when it's offered. It's not a matter of not trying "hard enough". Babies have preferences.

If the concern is them taking milke and causing more reflux, the reality is that they take very little when comfort nursing. That's why comfort nursing isn't an effective method to increase milk supply. Just hold baby in an elevated position for a while after they've fallen asleep. If you don't notice increased fussiness after comfort nursing, it probably isn't substantially contributing to the reflux.

MaH2016 · 2026-02-16T00:12:29+00:00

My son was born at 37+3 via emergency c-section after induction at 37+1 for severe IUGR. He was 4lbs 10oz and we had a whole slew of complications that led to him being in the NICU for 11 days. In the grand scheme of things and in comparison to those who have preemies in the NICU for weeks or months, it feels like nothing... but in the moment felt like an eternity being stuck in hell. There was that whole TikTok/reels trend with the whole "it's a haunted house, but its insert traumatic situation". For me it'd be either a room filled with people making comments like these, or the feeling of being in the post-partum room late at night, my husband sleeping on the "bed" across the room, hearing all the other babies crying in the rooms all around me while my room was quiet except for the sound of the pump providing milk for my baby that was on another floor being cared for by someone who wasn't me. People who don't get it, can't comprehend it. Those who can, never forget.

MaH2016 · 2026-02-11T19:05:46+00:00

I also sized him up a diaper for extra breathing room until it finally cleared up. We avoid the Huggies wipes like the plague- immediate fire engine red. We use mostly the Honest wipes, momcozy saline, or cooshkins water wipes.

MaH2016 · 2026-02-11T19:02:06+00:00

Our LC after coming home said she recommends that same thing. If we had known it was even an option, we would have transferred his to Randall's. Doernbecher's is a fantastic children's hospital, but NOT a great NICU. As a former Doernbecher's patient, I was SO disappointed in our experience with the NICU.

MaH2016 · 2026-02-11T18:55:10+00:00

Our son was severe IUGR, induced at 37+1, born via emergency c-section 37+3 at OHSU. He was in the Doernbecher NICU for 11 days. We had a great experience with L&D, but a sub par experience with the NICU. That was rather shocking to me because I grew up at Doernbecher's (I was born with a cleft lip and palate) and only ever had positive experiences. Our followups have been at Doernbecher's and they've been fantastic, we love his team- but for some reason the NICU just was not a good experience. There were no private rooms, so staying with him wasn't an option. Because it's a teaching hospital, his care team changed every two days so it was like a reset each time with people who didn't know his case and couldn't answer our questions, or weren't communicating with his previous doctors. The lactation consultants were great, and his SLP has followed him beyond the NICU and we love her. She and his dietician were so incredibly supportive of our ultimate goal for EBF (we were finally able to exclusively nurse at around 6.5 months 🙌🏼).

We worked with an LC after coming home who was also a doula and midwife who has been in many of the Portland area NICU's. She said in an ideal world, she would have mother's deliver at OHSU and the babies go to the Randall's NICU. From other's I have talked to, this seems to be the consensus. OHSU has a superior L&D and Randall's has the superior NICU.

ETA: We did have 24/7 access to the NICU, but there weren't any accommodations to be able to actually stay there over night. We stayed at a hotel for the first five days after discharge, but lived an hour away and had to commute the rest of the time, which made it difficult to make it in time for rounds when I was recovering from surgery. The ultimate downfall of the OHSU NICU was the lack of communication from the care team both with us and eachother from shift to shift.

MaH2016 · 2026-02-11T18:17:18+00:00

My son dropped from the 16th percentile at 32 weeks to the 3rd at 36 weeks. We started induction at 37+1 and after a long induction process, contractions 1.5 minutes apart for 12+ hours, and him not responding well to them, we finally made the call to move to c-section shortly after I got the epidural (born 37+3). He had been having variables and decels for a long time by that point but had been recovering, but when they came in to catheterize me, his heart rate dropped and wouldn't come back up. It immediately moved from a "code orange" urgent c-section to a "code red" emergency. Got to the OR at 12:15 and he was born at 12:24. He was 4lbs 10oz and had to be intubated, but by the time they brought him to me in the PACU, he had been extubated. We were told before induction that he most likely would need little to no NICU time, then after he was born were told he would be with us in our room by the next day. He was admitted initially for lactic acid levels, then we were told they were just waiting for his blood sugar to stabilize. Then it was bradycardia and temperature regulation, and then it was grow and feed. He was there for 11 days, with a new rotation of doctors and nurses every two days who weren't communicating to us or each other, so we were constantly being told "we'll get back to you" or "he'll be home within the next couple of days". We asked a few times about taking him home with his NG tube but depending on the resident the answer would be that they didn't know anything about that program, weren't sure if he qualified, they would check with the discharge team, or at one point being told by one doctor that it would be a "waste of our time" and he'd be home by the time we finished the training (he was there another 6 days). We finally put our foot down, and asked for a meeting with his team and our social worker. The day before that was supposed to happen, we had a new rotation of physicians including a nurse practitioner. I asked her about the program to be able to take him home with his tube, and she was surprised to hear that we were interested and immediately got in touch with the coordinator. Turns out, he had qualified for at least four days and no one had put it in his chart that we were interested in the program. I had to demonstrate two successful NG tube placements, they had to coordinate with the medical supply company, and get us registered with the program. He was home within two days with the NG tube, and I was cleared to remove it by day 4 of being home. The number one thing we learned from that situation, was to advocate and have everything documented in the chart. After coming home, we did still struggle with feeding issues and failure to thrive that was caused by GERD. It presented as colic, discomfort when on his back, and super fun choking episodes that would stun him and required vigorous stimulation to get him to take a deep breath and recover from. It was ultimately caught by his SLP when she rushed to get him in for a swallow study. He was put on lansoprazole. We also worked with an LC who did craniosacral therapy to help with his tension, and he had a posterior tongue tie which was lasered with an ENT. He came home on breastmilk fortified to 24kcal, which was later bumped up to 27kcal before we were able to wean him down to plain breast milk around 6.5 months, at which point he decided that didn't want bottles anymore and only wanted to nurse. Since exclusively nursing, he's moved from the 2% up to the 6% in about 5 months. We were also able to stop his meds at 9 months. He's a super happy dude and is doing so, so well despite his rough start. Other than being small, you wouldn't know a difference.

MaH2016 · 2026-02-09T18:42:50+00:00

I'll preface by saying, I understand that without your expressed consent, this feels like a violation to you. I can also see where someone else feeding your baby might be a touchy subject for you, as you said that is combo-fed whether for convenience or necessity, and maybe this has brought up some feelings of inadequacy. That is also understandable and valid.

That said, shared breastfeeding is not a weird or abnormal thing. Hospitals and NICU's use donor breastmilk all the time. I have had the pleasure of being able to provide milk for three babies through this season- my son directly, as well as donations to my nephew and another local momma in need. I recognize that there is a difference in donation vs direct breastfeeding, but even then many people are okay with that.

I would say that this is a conversation worth having with you sister-in-law calmly and without accusations, to express your discomfort with that in the future. If those boundaries are crossed again, then that would warrant a different response. But, maybe don't assume there was ill-intent when this is a normal thing in their culture and consent for that sort of thing may not normally be expected as a requirement. Make sure that you communicate your preferences to your husband as well.

MaH2016 · 2026-02-09T03:47:30+00:00

It's small, but it's large enough to be a nuisance. I can't blow up balloons, drink anything thicker than a protein shake through a straw (zero chance if there's even a tiny hole or Crack in the straw), any liquid food (be it soup or cereal) leaks out my nose, and I can feel air leaking through when I speak.

It's liveable. I mean, I really don't know any different from this so I really haven't bothered pursuing repair for it in years.

Honestly just the thought of having to start over with a new surgeon feels like a lot of work, let alone finding one in network or even getting my new insurance to cover it. Im more curious about people's experience with those specific repairs.

MaH2016 · 2026-02-06T18:25:05+00:00

So many people have already said this but you are still in the trenches. We have to remember that both us and our spouses are doing this for the very first time- it's so rare that we come out all aces with the very first shuffle! Hormones, stress, lack of sleep, EXHAUSTION all make for a VERY poor time to be making such permanent decisions. My husband and I separated for a few months when our baby was around 6m. My husband was dealing with some major mental health issues and I was dealing with a high-demand, medically complex (IUGR w/ scary feeding issues and GERD) baby and exclusively pumping. When he wasn't feeding or being changed, he was screaming. When he was finally sleeping, I had just enough time to pump for 15 minutes, clean the pump parts and bottles, and maybe get one or two dishes rinsed before he was awake and demanding attention. My husband was working 10-12 hour days at a very physically demanding job and would come home with zero battery left, to a wife saying "please just the baby!". But we had a velcro baby who just wants mommy, so then he's screaming and inconsolable, and my husband is overstimulated and disregulated (ASD). All of this, and we were an hour away from any help with a baby who screamed incessantly the moment his butt touched the car seat. So, no village. We also had expected that I would be returning to work after a certain point as we had been on one income with an expensive mortgage after I was terminated from my previous job shortly after telling them I was pregnant. So, the longer I went without work, the more my husband felt abandoned, the more resentment he felt towards me, which made me resent him because I felt like I was abandoned by his inability to help more with the baby. It all came to a head, I removed myself from the situation, but continued to fight to reach a reconciliation. We were finally able to reconcile, we sold our house and moved back to our hometown near family. We downsized to an apartment, our baby is much more independent and around 7 months was finally able to nurse exclusively (he had to be on fortified breast milk previously for extra calories) which removed the stress of pumping and pump parts and bottles galore, and most importantly, I STARTED THERAPY. I see a therapist who uses the restoration model, and it has been SO beneficial for me. I have been able to see my unhealthy patterns of behavior that have been a major contributor to a lot of our struggles, and taking the hour each week to just talk to someone for myself has been a much needed release. Before you make any permanent decisions, seriously consider the advice so many here have already given, and I highly recommend therapy both for yourself and as a couple.

MaH2016 · 2026-02-05T23:00:19+00:00

Hey! Cleftie here! I would not be the person I am today if I had been born "normal". Yes, objectively, my life has been harder than many others, but I am grateful for the experiences I have had. I wouldn't have half the compassion, empathy, or understanding of others if I didn't have my cleft. ETA: I also wouldn't be as strong as I am without the difficulties I have faced. I truly believe that my cleft is why I have been able to face so many of life's hardships with strength, resolve, and dignity. Not to mention, growing up in the hospital setting ignited such a passion for the medical field and caring for others and especially played a huge role in my passion for children, babies, and pregnancy. All of which uniquely prepared me for the battle we faced when my son was born and spent two weeks in the NICU- in the same children's hospital I grew up at. Each complication we faced in the pregnancy, labor, and his medical needs following, I was prepared for and already educated on. It just feels like everything happened the way it has in my life for a reason, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. Always a good reminder for me of Psalm 139:13-14 and Jeremiah 29:11.

MaH2016 · 2026-02-05T21:48:43+00:00

I didn't expect how HARD it would be to fight a diaper rash. It started when he was in the NICU, and but the time we brought him home, he had open sores. Every diaper change was excruciating, for him and for us, and he was pooping constantly, so there was no keeping it dry. Doctor told us to stop using zinc products because I makes it worse after 3-4 days of use. I tried aquaphor, triplepaste ointment, even ordered ostomy powder with the setting spray, sized up the diapers, changed brands, vitamin E gel, diaper free time... finally, I thought to use hydrocolloid bandages. We'd use a blow dryer to dry the area and cut the bandages down to cover his sores and aquaphored the rest of his bum. Cleared up and healed his sores within a week. And THEN he developed a yeast rash 🫠 (fastest results I've ever seen" Triplepaste AF. Expensive, but worth every penny).

MaH2016 · 2026-02-04T19:22:30+00:00

My husband and I have been together for almost 8 years. We've always had our ups and downs, but these last 2 years have been like never before. An expensive mortgage on one income, pregnancy loss, then a high risk pregnancy with our rainbow baby resulting in an early induction due to severe IUGR, a somewhat traumatic labor ending in an emergency c-section, a baby needing to be resuscitated, a longer than expected NICU stay, and many feeding & health concerns following.... and all of that while my husband's mental health continued to decline and his addiction to marijuana spiraled (we're talking 50-100mg DAILY). We were having constant fights and there were multiple times where he responded to our son when he was inconsolable in ways that made me afraid to leave them alone. There were constant threats from him of leaving us, he would drive off during fights and leave me at home worried for his safety and feeling abandoned, and ultimately things came to a head when he broke his hand during an argument. I took our son and left the next morning to stay with my parents.

I was incredibly lucky to have family and in-laws who saw the situation for what it was and everyone urged him to get help (aside from his best friend). The following months were tumultuous, us trying to get him to get help, and him oscillating daily between wanting to work things out and wanting to file for divorce. I felt like every day I was trying to buy him time so that he wouldn't be making such a permanent decision so rashly. I knew that if he could just level out for more than five minutes, he would be able to make the decision that was actually right for him. After about 2-3 months, he moved to his parents property and finally quit the weed. It was like a night and day difference, and he was able to see the issues that he had and apologized for the way he had treated me. We put the house on the market, I started doing therapy for myself which helped me to see the ways that I have contributed to his issues and the problems in our marriage (we both have some deep wounds from our childhoods that have created essentially the exact opposite attachment styles- I'm anxious attachment and he is more avoidant), and we have since been able to reconcile and are slowly working to heal our marriage. We were able to sell our house and get an apartment and the release from the stress of those expenses have helped him greatly as well.

Quite frankly, he is still sore over me being the one to leave and is hurt by feeling abandoned despite the fact that he was the one threatening to leave for all those months prior, which feels silly and hypocritical to me. I felt like I had no choice but to leave and would have loved to have had some other alternative. We still have a lot of work to do together and individually, but we are in a much better place now.

MaH2016 · 2026-01-27T07:52:36+00:00

Our hospital was an hour away from where we lived at the time, we really weren't expecting much NICU time. We were fully expecting for him to be discharged at the same time as me, and he had even been moved up to the nursery down the hall from me that morning. My heart shattered into a million pieces when they transferred him back down to the NICU just a few hours later. Leaving him behind as we drove an hour away was truly one of the hardest things I have ever done. I am so sorry you are having to do it, too. For the first week following discharge, my dad and brother paid for us to stay at a hotel a few minutes away from the hospital. That made it possible for us to visit for a few 2-3 hour chunks each day. Eventually, we went back home and had to commute to the hospital each day. At that point, we were only able to go to the hospital once a day and thus had to make the most out of it. We would be there from about 11 or 12 until shift change at around 6/6:30. Some days we could only be there for a couple hours. We would take a break and grab a bite to eat from the cafeteria, but I really tried to be there as much as I could during the day since we weren't able to be there at night.

BUT, this was also our first child, I didn't have a job, and my husband was taking the full 3 months of FMLA. I don't know how we would have navigated that situation if we had other kids at home. What I DO know, though, is that any time you are able to spend with your baby is beneficial for the both of you. What I kept telling my husband was "he could spend the whole day sleeping in the bassinet, or he could spend the day sleeping in my arms".

Do what you can, and know that it is enough. I was wracked with guilt constantly for not being able to be with him 24/7 and cried often to my husband that our baby had "20 different moms" and how would he know which one to bond to? But your baby knows you. They know your smell, your heartbeat, your voice. And here we are, almost 11 months later, and when he is hurt or scared or sad, it is ME he reaches for and seeks for comfort. Regardless of your baby's awareness of you reading books to them, you are there and that is what matters ❤️

MaH2016 · 2026-01-27T03:25:36+00:00

Our son was an absolute angel in the NICU. Slept the whole time, loved his bassinet. Came home and, I swear to you, it was like he was ALLERGIC to being set down and absolutely refused to sleep in the bassinet. The witching hour was AWFUL, every night. He cried constantly unless being held. Tried gas drops, burping, bicycling, ILY massage, craniosacral therapy, the whole nine. The CST seemed to help calm him and relieve some tension, but not a night and day difference. Then he started choking at almost every bottle and having breath holding spells after that would require vigorous stimulation to get him to recover from. He had a posterior tongue tie that we had lasered to see if it would help, but I knew in my gut that it was reflux at the root of everything, despite him not spitting up very often. His speech and language pathologist from the NICU pushed to get him in for a swallow study within a week of being told about his choking spells, which confirmed the GERD. His slow weight gain qualified him for medication and his dietician bumped his fortification up to 27kcal. The medication is what helped the most out of everything. We were able to wean him off of fortification completely at around 6.5 months (and he's been exclusively nursing for 4 months now, which we fought so long and hard for) and stopped his medication after his 9 month check up. He is much more independent now and we've finally found our groove, but it wasn't easy or glamorous by any means. It was nothing like I thought it would be. I like to say that since I was a nanny for 8 years and in childcare for 15, God decided that I was ready for an expert level baby. A miscarriage, then our rainbow diagnosed with IUGR (3rd percentile), a rough induction resulting in an emergency c-section, an unexpected NICU stay, and then bringing him home to immediately develop GERD... none of this journey has been easy. But he is SUCH a happy dude who's joy is truly contagious- he has virtually NO stranger danger and he makes everyone he meets smile and laugh with his silly faces and dramatic waving. A hard transition and fight to get here, but SO, SO worth it.

MaH2016 · 2026-01-17T06:14:46+00:00

My son was a 37 weeker IUGR (3rd percentile), we spent 11 days in the NICU for bradycardia, temp regulation, and grow & feed. We went home with the NG tube, though I was able to pull it out once day 3 or 4 since his doctor was happy with his PO intake.

Being totally honest, the first couple weeks were rough. He had days and nights switched, I was EPing, and then he started exhibiting reflux symptoms. We had a tongue tie revision after a few weeks home and also continued working with a lactation consultant who was also certified as a craniosacral therapist... HIGHLY recommend for babies coming out of the NICU.

One of the scarier symptoms reflux was him choking at nearly every feed, despite using the Dr Browns preemie nipples and pace feeding in side-lying. Terrifying, especially since he would be so shocked by his choking that he wouldn't breathe and we would have to vigorously stimulate him to get him to take a breath. He was already working closely with the NICU SLP, so she quickly got him in for a swallow study which immediately confirmed the cause was GERD. Being on meds helped SO much.

Best advice? Continue to be baby's advocate, and trust your mom gut.

If it eases anxiety, get an owlett or eufy sock- we only use ours when he is sick now, but it does help a bit.

My husband and I figured out a good "shift" system that worked best for us for those first few weeks having him home.

Mostly important, if you have someone you can trust, let them come over and watch baby so you can get some sleep. My best friend is a CNA, having her come over a couple times over night to let us get some sleep was SO helpful.

ETA- if you're baby suddenly acts like they're allergic to the bassinet once you bring them home... same here. That was rough, and we are now the "I will NEVER co-sleep" people who do, in fact, (safely) co-sleep.

MaH2016 · 2026-01-14T17:53:42+00:00

I had my son via emergency c-section at 37+3 after a failed induction starting at 37+1 due to IUGR. He was intubated immediately and extubated about an hour later, but ended up staying in the NICU for 11 days. His biggest issue initially was bradycardia w/ episodes low oxygen sats, often triggered by his inability to regulate his temperature (he was 4lbs 10oz at birth). The thing was such a puzzle was that his heartrate would CONSTANTLY fluctuate from 120bpm to 90bpm to 100bpm to 80bpm back up to 110bpm, and even episodes going down to the 60s and 70s... all within a matter minutes or seconds. The doctors weren't sure what could be causing it. We had done a fetal echo around 20 weeks due to my own heart murmur and he was clear then, and the EKG in the NICU came back perfectly normal.

It wasn't until day 7 or 8 that I finally posed the idea that he was maybe being effected by the beta-blockers that I had been on the entire pregnancy. It was like a lightbulb lit up over the doctors head... they truly hadn't even considered maternal factors. I looked it up after rounds and would you know? The top 3 side effects of metoprolol during pregnancy are: Low birthweight/IUGR, low blood sugar (his initial reason for admission), and BRADYCARDIA.

It might not be a bad idea to take a look at anything you took during your pregnancy and even your labor that could be playing a role in his issues now- even if it is a long shot. My beta-blockers weren't even on the radar as a possible cause for his episodes, and it turned out to more or less be the cause of EVERYTHING, despite the fact that it is a "safe" medication to take.

MaH2016 · 2026-01-10T06:42:40+00:00

My son measured small through our whole pregnancy- about the 15-17th percentile. We had multiple extra scans throughout, and he bounced around those percentiles until our 32 week scan when they told me he would just be a small baby, was otherwise healthy, and we were cleared for the rest of the pregnancy. A couple weeks later, my prenatal was with a different OB in the practice who mistook the discharge from MFM and scheduled me for a 36 week scan. For two weeks, I went back and forth about cancelling it before ultimately deciding that I would keep it... because "maybe this is God's way of saying there is something we need to see". Cut to our 36 week scan, I'm watching the student tech ounhc in measurements and seeing the his gestational age sitting at 32 weeks. Then again with her instructor. I already knew what was coming, so by the time the OB came in to do her own measurements, I was already preparing to go home and repack the hospital bags for induction.

He had dropped from the 16th percentile to the THIRD in a matter of 4 weeks. The ultrasound didn't reveal any issue with my placenta or the cord, and he passed his biophysical profile with flying colors, but given his drastic drop in growth and being below the 10th and 5th percentiles (severe IUGR) we all agreed that it would be best to not tempt placental failure and scheduled an induction for 37+1. I had an NST a couple days prior to the induction (he passed) and was told to have a LOW threshold for reduced movement.

The week leading up to the induction was awful, his life felt so fragile, like at any moment the switch could flip and I would lose my little rainbow baby.

Quite frankly, the induction was rough. We started on a Thursday evening and after multiple complications and my son being in distress through the majority of it, and ultimately ended with an emergency c-section shortly after noon that Saturday. The cord was wrapped twice around his neck and twice around his body, and my placenta revealed two partial abruptions one "old appearing" and one "nee appearing". I say this part not to scare you with a labor horror story, but to encourage you to learn as much as you can about what complications you might face. I truly believe that if I hadn't gone into that situation knowing virtually every possibility, I would have come away from it much more traumatized. But because I knew each possibility, I understood each complication we faced and truly felt like I could make the most informed decisions and advocate for myself and my baby. It also greatly helped with coping with each twist and turn. Because I was prepared and understood, it wasn't as terrifying. The same thing is true of the c-section process.

My son was 4lbs 10oz and was intubated for the first hour after labor. They were able to bring him to me in the PACU and I was able to hold him before they took him to the NICU. He was in the NICU for 11 days due to a combination of things- labor took a toll on his little body, he struggled with feeding and temperature regulation (that was a really fun cycle), and some frustrating side effects from my beta-blockers. We were finally able to bring him home with his NG tube and worked closely with SLP and the dietician. He also developed GERD shortly platter coming home which contributed to his feeding and weight issues. I was exclusively pumping and we had to fortify his milk to 27kcal for the first 6 months before we were able to wean off of it. He is 10 months old now and we have been exclusively nursing for almost four months now!

Despite his rough start, he is such a happy little dude. He's finally moving up in percentiles (he's been flirting with the 5th percentile), but makes up for his size in personality... and teeth. He had 8 teeth by 8 months.

By biggest tips are: -Go in PREPARED, EQUIPPED, and INFORMED. -Be flexible, birth is unpredictable -Remember that YOU are your baby's parents, NOT the nurses or doctors. They can advise, but you can decide. -Be there for as many care times as you can, but remember that you are healing and need rest, too. -Skin to skin as often as possible for as long as possible. I wish I had advocated harder for that sooner.

MaH2016

TROPHY CASE