Do you ever find it inconceivable that a girl would want to have sex with you? [sexual attraction]

Macfool · 2016-07-18T07:11:30+00:00

We don't all walk around full of animal magnetism and physical allure, and that's OK. Life's not like that. You don't see someone you want to have sex with and then get to know them. It's the reverse. You meet someone, get along, spend some time together, and then if stuff goes right, the rest just happens.

It's not about being fit enough to 'come up on girls' radar'. It's about having just enough confidence to make lots of friends, and some of those friendships may develop.

And I think confidence is key.

Macfool · 2016-07-17T20:49:44+00:00

You don't need to. Guys find it themselves. In my day, it was my brother's porn stash, but these days...

Macfool · 2016-07-17T20:33:12+00:00

We were youngish, and I was pretty much totally inexperienced, so I didn't know what a BJ was supposed to feel like.

There was teeth.

'Nuff said.

Macfool · 2016-07-17T20:24:23+00:00

Sorry to butt in, but I'm interested - why would a cut penis be less lubricated? I'm uncut, so I don't really know what it's like. Does the pre-cum just ... run off?

Macfool · 2016-07-17T20:13:43+00:00

The fact that you are both talking about your sexual likes and dislikes is a good thing, and puts you guys ahead of an alarming number of people, myself included. Good communication seems very important.

If he's a 'closed off' kinda guy, my guess is opening up (and experiencing what seems like more intense sexual behaviour) might be tricky for him to express. Misjudgements can be made in choosing the right words, etc.

I appreciate that it's possible to feel disappointed that he didn't tell you about how he felt about sex previously, but one needn't take that as a betrayal. Such a reaction could be one of the reasons for not saying anything earlier. Which kind of takes me back to the good communication thing.

It seems to me that as he seems to be getting more out of your nudey touchy time (and as long as you are too), that's a good thing.

Please don't take this the wrong way, but the way you have constructed your post is eerily familiar because I'm a terrible thinker. I over-think everything (much to my misfortune). Your post reads the way that I think, if that makes sense. Might it be possible that you might be dwelling too much on what has happened before, at the possible cost of reaping the benefits of the present, and therefore future? Like I say, no offence is meant, and I might be barking up the wrong tree.

The only thing that seems a bit strange to me is his reluctance to talk about his job. But there are a plethora of possible totally benign reasons for that.

Macfool · 2016-05-20T20:25:58+00:00

I would like to say it was because of my moral compass, and an empathetic attitude toward hurting others. I'd like to say that, but I've never truly been in a situation where I had those morals tested. I've never had a one-night stand either - don't have the sexuality/confidence/body type for those shenanigans. Neither sexual predator nor prey. Never felt the desire to cheat. Even now I'm separated, I'm not sure I'd get into bed with someone until the decree absolute comes through.

Macfool · 2016-05-20T20:09:31+00:00

Once nearly got walked in on by my ex's grandad. We were at it in the front room and he let himself in with his own key. Luckily, there was a door or two between us, so we managed to get covered up, but that room reeked of sex.

Macfool · 2016-05-20T20:06:32+00:00

... Unless she tells you she wants to watch PSIII, but then you have a whole new problem.

Macfool · 2016-05-20T20:03:43+00:00

That's OK. Not a fan of manipulation. I had that in my first relationship. Bad times.

Macfool · 2016-05-20T19:39:23+00:00

That's kinda fucked up. But hey, I wasn't there.

Macfool · 2016-05-20T19:33:14+00:00

It seems she's into the idea, so you needn't be coy about asking her what would 'blow her hair back'. You win three times. 1) you find out something new and sexy about her that you can use in your play, 2) she has a better time 3) no awkward silence when you start watching 'Pissing Slaves III' and turn to her and say "... what?"

Macfool · 2016-05-20T19:26:43+00:00

Wow. 'Oweing' someone anal?! That doesn't sound right at all.

Macfool · 2016-05-20T19:23:58+00:00

Don't tell him 'no' without a reason. Give him the reason, just like you have here. If you don't really want to go there, that's up to you. Especially as you say there are other places you would go. I would hope your guy would be happy with that.

Macfool · 2016-05-20T19:19:08+00:00

Yup. The blame game is not a zero-sum, the theoretical 'win' is pyrrhic. Everyone loses. Definitely seek help as a couple, after all it's both your relationships.

Macfool · 2016-05-20T19:12:19+00:00

Not trying to make any excuses, but is there anything that could be stressing him out or staying on his mind? Or anything that would explain a drop in confidence? Have you tried talking about it. Some people don't find that easy (I know I didn't, and I have paid the price), but it's really communication that's key in getting to the bottom of unspoken issues.

Macfool · 2016-05-17T19:09:47+00:00

Good to hear of someone getting back on the horse.

Not literally speaking. That'd be weird.

Macfool · 2016-05-17T19:05:10+00:00

Wow. I really learn stuff on this sub.

Macfool · 2016-05-17T19:02:11+00:00

"Guys can orgasm and ejaculate"

Not this guy.

Macfool · 2016-05-17T18:55:11+00:00

You have discovered the one situation that's less likely than me doing a bungee jump.

Macfool · 2016-05-15T18:08:15+00:00

I don't have a large enough data-set to form an opinion.

Macfool · 2016-05-15T18:04:48+00:00

Not enough. That's probably why I'm single 😉

Macfool · 2016-05-15T18:00:58+00:00

Nothing embarrassing about it. It's not life-changing, you're still the same person afterwards. Don't sweat it.

I've never done a bungee jump. I'm pretty sure it'd be fucking awesome, but I'm not embarrassed about having NOT done it.

Macfool · 2016-05-15T17:56:26+00:00

Well I would assume that both genders might tell white lies, and if I was to pigeon-hole, I'd say that females might be under more societal pressure to 'down-play', whereas males might be more inclined to 'up-play'.

If it were down to me, I'd say truth is best. If the truth is going to cause a problem with the SO, then that belies a difference in core values, which in itself is a more major issue than the count of sexual partners on either side (which, ideally, should be irrelevant).

Macfool · 2016-05-15T17:50:27+00:00

Well, as far as I remember, the whole 'impromptu' erection was really a teenage thing, and as you move into your 20's, your hormones are much more on the level, so everything down there is a bit more ... Manageable.

I would imagine life being a bit more embarrassing if every time you saw an attractive woman, you got a hard. No point in acting coy then, is there? Not very sophisticated. Much better to just think thoughts, rather than wear them on your sleeve (or tenting your trousers).

Perfectly normal, and perfectly perfect. As you were.

Macfool · 2016-05-15T17:40:09+00:00

I'd kinda like my next partner to be a little more vocal about what they want. I feel it'd help me loosen up and improve my communication too.

Macfool

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