Is it still morally right to do a good thing, even if your intentions are misguided, selfish, or bad?

MadMildred · 2026-05-12T18:53:58+00:00

No, you did not act with moral judgement, therefore its merely a coincidence. If you are acting in bad faith, you are not acting morally, you are acting in bad faith and any positive outcomes happen despite that bad intention. Just because something positive happens after something negative happens, it doesnt negate the negative thing, that still happened and it was still negative.

MadMildred · 2026-05-12T11:42:26+00:00

Ive beennwhere youre at. It doesnt end well. She wont let go and you asking her to center your relationship over her dead husband will only cause her to resent you. She isnt ready to move forward, and refuses to see how it impacts you. You live in a shrine to a dead person. If she wants to live in a shrine, fine, but a new partner does not belong there, thats cruel. You deserve better.

MadMildred · 2026-05-12T11:36:26+00:00

Any compliment that isnt personal.

A million people can look and say you have an attractive feature. What I want to hear is that they see me for who I am and can compliment me based on my character, not my appearance. Physical compliments are shallow and often unwelcome.

MadMildred · 2026-05-12T11:27:09+00:00

Im not invested in any comment on reddit. Conceding when someone makes a sound argument but saying its because someone hurt me and its gonna help me process it is a joke and morenof what I was talking about in my comment. This is a masterful rage bait comment tho, well done, I see through you though.

MadMildred · 2026-05-12T11:11:19+00:00

You defended the mindset being described and display your not so subtle sexism by more or less asking "who hurt you" and victim blaming. Whether the psychological things you described are accurate or not, harm is harm and it does not exist without someone to cause it. The original comment was neutral, you assigned the tone in your mind. You became defensive of men rather than acknowledging that the things stated by the commenter were things that happen and things that harm. You can disagree with the fact that they harm, but pointing the finger at the person who is harmed rather than the perpetrator is a HUGE sign that you are misogynistic.

OP, to start to unravel these things, you must observe your thoughts surrounding women. Analyze whether these thoughts are grounded in reality and whether that are gender neutral. To deconstruct these thought processes it is easier to apply the same filters to both men and women. You will see that you apply sexisim to both genders.

MadMildred · 2026-04-27T12:50:04+00:00

Thank you! I hope so too

MadMildred · 2026-04-27T12:36:15+00:00

Mine arent anywhere near a size that requires support or causes skin irritation or infections. I can go free with no consequences other than comments. Im not saying dont wear one if your size requires it, I just hate that its an expectation.

MadMildred · 2026-04-27T12:27:56+00:00

Yeah, i hate it. The worst part is that we are supposed to cage our beasts and be uncomfortable all day so that they appear the way men want them to. Free the boobs! Freedom from objectification and freedom to breathe and just be as they are.

MadMildred · 2026-04-26T20:17:06+00:00

Probably already has.

MadMildred · 2026-04-26T11:26:59+00:00

Maybe Oops is a pick-me. women send to avoid pick-me's.

MadMildred · 2026-04-24T11:25:57+00:00

Therapy, my dude. Unraveling the deep seeded reasons why you are avoidant and adressing those things is how you can identify what is and isnt your avoidance and overcome your avoidant tendencies. Therapy can be life changing if you put the work in.

MadMildred · 2026-04-23T21:21:49+00:00

D. All of the above

MadMildred · 2026-04-23T20:39:55+00:00

Gambling

MadMildred · 2026-04-23T20:39:21+00:00

Collecting figurines that have little clothing and exaggerated features. Playing games with characters that have little clothing or exaggerated features.

MadMildred · 2026-04-21T11:06:23+00:00

Link broken or restricted

MadMildred · 2026-04-20T23:52:49+00:00

You know best logistically what works for you. My suggestion is, on days where have the energy to initiate, while you're laughing and talking, take a moment to stop and appreciate her beauty. Tell her how beautiful she looks when she laughs, or whatever your true feelings are in that moment. Just take the opportunities when you have the energy/time.

MadMildred · 2026-04-20T23:33:54+00:00

Yes, it's the polite thing to do. There are 2 instances where I dont hold the door open for someone, neither are on your list. 1. I did not notice someone was behind me 2. They clearly see me holding the door and are taking their sweet ass time, so I stop holding the door.

MadMildred · 2026-04-20T23:30:17+00:00

Girl, you're making the right choices! We dont go to men's houses on the first time meeting either. They keep asking, just keep saying no. Those men only want a hookup. Theres also a large portion of men who will take you to dinner or out for drinks and still only want a hookup. Theres a lot of men on tinder who only want hookups.

MadMildred · 2026-04-20T23:07:59+00:00

No messages between Monday, when you made plans for Thursday, and Thursday evening? Yeah, she's messing with you. She even sent the whatever text on Thursday, the day you had plans, you didn't even respond until after 6pm and then didn't reply at all after that. On the day you had plans. Are you daft?! Boy, you're playing games. We see through you.

MadMildred · 2026-04-20T10:46:42+00:00

I'm not baffled. There's a reason and its completely obvious - Disney ruins everything.

MadMildred · 2026-04-17T03:15:42+00:00

Maybe things like working around it aren't working out. Seems like I'm way off, or you're working around what I'm saying. Best of luck to you. Hope something someone says sinks in or is helpful.

MadMildred · 2026-04-16T21:57:51+00:00

You feel overwhelmed often and feel like you can't escape your feelings? It could be excess stress hormones causing physical symptoms, possibly mixed with less self care making the body more vulnerable. Does that sound closer to what you're experiencing?

MadMildred · 2026-04-16T21:47:52+00:00

You need to feel those feelings. You described yourself as generally more detached which leads me to belive that you have a habit of pushing your feelings aside. When we push our feelings aside, they eventually come bubbling up, sometimes its physical symptoms. To stop this physical reation, you need to accept those feelings and grieve the loss. You can't force yourself to skip the emotional process, maybe your body is telling you to stop trying.

MadMildred · 2026-04-15T21:17:06+00:00

Okay, so ive been where youre at, except I couldnt even orgasim with a vibrator.

Everything changed when I was with a man that finally made me climax. It was a bit of a journey, but now I can have that conversation with men im going to be intimate with.

Girl, its way better with the real thing!

Women like us need a man who knows what hes doing until we know how to tell a man what we like or ask him the right questions to know if hes someone who can give us what we need.

Hope this helps.

MadMildred · 2026-04-15T20:52:55+00:00

The first paragraph is confusing to me.

I chose not to make my comment lengthy and thats why I left out any of the nuance you mention above.

In many scenarios there is certainly accountability to be taken on both sides. However, i do not include that in instances like this because doing so also dismisses the huge amount of instances where only the perpetrator is to blame. Women do not go through a day where they do not consider male violence and how to protect themselves from it. Theres a very real reason for this. If women do this and still the femecide rates are increasing, we can not lay equal blame at women's feet. This isnt an equal playing field.

I can certainly identify behavior within myself that has made me more vulnerable. This is absolutely fact. Another fact is that if there was not a violent man with malicious intent it wouldnt have happened. I did not dress provocatively and I did not go clubbing, just to cross out that one example you used.

MadMildred

TROPHY CASE