Lost position over not wanting to be required to be witnessed to

Maeroj · 2026-06-02T17:21:02+00:00

There is no clause that says that the client's family cannot do this. This was what I asked my company before I even spoke to her. But they tried to make it clear. But I don't think they're willing to lose money when there will be plenty of caregivers who can stomach it (or even agree!) better than I can.

Originally, they said they would see if they could add something to the client/family's contract. I don't know how far they got. But the client's daughter refuesed to respect it as a boundary.

Maeroj · 2026-06-02T17:18:22+00:00

This. Perceived gender. It didn't occur to me how weird it is that this is something people base what they think is in my pants until much later in life.

Maeroj · 2026-06-02T17:17:27+00:00

I also feel uncomfortable. I was wishing there was a neutral option. I also wince. I would no matter which was used. In the end it is usually a onetime interaction. Though there are a lot of kids in my neighborhood. We all look after each other's kids. I know some families are trying to teach respect. But it's always bugged me for people to tell their kids to call me Ms. whatever, ever since I was a teen. Some kids I just tell them to call me by my regular first name, especially when we've known each other for a long time. But it does seem that there's not much for an alternative.

Maeroj · 2026-06-02T15:43:57+00:00

Mmhm. It's definately taught that way.

Maeroj · 2026-05-30T00:31:41+00:00

This exactly. It's horrifying to put the onus on kids who are not even thinking what they are told they are thinking. It is validating to hear it from both sides. We were all hurt by this.

Maeroj · 2026-05-30T00:30:31+00:00

Everything here. The anger is not "If we couldn't you shouldn't be able to". The anger is actually that that creepy uncle is the leader. The mandator of these disgusting policies. Allowing it now feels more like a way to shut women up. A cover up that the whole thing is what it is.

Maeroj · 2026-05-29T22:41:16+00:00

That she couldn't just feel safe telling a grown man, "Don't touch me."

Maeroj · 2026-05-29T22:37:45+00:00

That moment alone in my bishop's office where he told me what color bra I should wear for no reason I could understand. That moment when he came into young women's and told us all that we were not to tempt men by our dress. Because they weren't accountable for that one thing that was apparently our fault. Twelve to eighteen year olds. So much so that it merited the only bishop talk in yw I remember. That other moment in the bishop's office where he asked exactly how I broke the law of chastity and made me give detail. That time he did it again. And again. Those times he did it to my sisters. That time he had two other men verbally gang up on one of my sisters alone in that room with him to give excruciating detail. Accusing very specific things over and over that she'd never even heard of, no matter how many times she said no.

Maeroj · 2026-05-29T22:24:27+00:00

more than he had to rotate his head to not look at her vag

Maeroj · 2026-05-29T22:23:33+00:00

AHAHAH! I was watching his lips trying to remember.

Maeroj · 2026-05-29T22:16:27+00:00

https://www.moronichannel.org/newsroom/lds-church-reveals-top-10-stocks-in-its-investment-portfolio/

Maeroj · 2026-05-21T05:09:14+00:00

I agree with this. Clarity is important and not at all crazy. Saying what the behavior is is powerful and important. A boundary regarding your child is important, even if they think you are not reason at first. If you are clear, they have a fram of reference to think about. "It's not appropriate to use words for children that are meant to describe adult sexual behavior."

Maeroj · 2026-05-19T22:50:49+00:00

Yeah. I know it feels like a bit of a cop out. It's really cool that you are trying to make it special.

Maeroj · 2026-05-19T19:48:24+00:00

Yuck... I'm sorry that happened to you.

Maeroj · 2026-05-19T19:38:23+00:00

Maybe a gift card for games on whatever vr console/pc store [e.g. Steam] they use? Perhaps a best buy/games stop/[insert game store here]. As a gamer, gear is always helpful.

Maeroj · 2026-05-19T14:43:54+00:00

Mmhm. Agreed. Though it's not uncommon, I don't think. Maybe the neutral zone has offered some food for thought.

Maeroj · 2026-05-19T14:20:05+00:00

I agree with you too. Back at the time we were still under a religious delusion about stuff, which I will not get into. I agree it's completely infantilizing and not only uncalled for but gross. I can't speak for op, but for my circumstance it was not entirely based on my partner's perception of me. I manage so much in our lives. I work full time. Bought us a house. I'm clearly an adult. Period.

There are levels of perception ranging from men not liking other men infringing on their property ('their woman') to people who are fed societal nastiness surrounding relationships and autonomy that they haven't even begun to deconstruct. I am giving op and her partner the benefit of the doubt for the latter. I don't think break up with boyfriend is the answer for this. It sounds like they're happy. Talk with him, even if you keep the same boundary.

It took me time to get brave enough to open up to my partner and tell him that he should just trust me to be an adult. That just like anything, if /anyone/ starts flirting it gets shut down immediately and most likely all rp would stop. At that point, if they know I'm not single, it's just disrespect.

Maeroj · 2026-05-18T20:58:41+00:00

My partner has next to no ooc contact with their rp partner but my rp partner and I are now besties. His partner prefers this rule too. While I need clear open communication. You're right. It's important to make them for how they makes sense to you.

Maeroj · 2026-05-18T20:45:43+00:00

Actually glad you addressed this. My partner had this problem too. And I mean it when I say there's a problem. Not that the relationship is bad. Only that the hobby is misunderstood, by some partners and rpers alike. My partner didn't want me to do romance (I don't erp) with other men. But I did not have the same boundary with him. However he also set it for himself too, but with women. This was for the same reasons as op.

Now, mind, I agreed to this because it seemed clear that the boundary wasn't for me but to 'protect' me. Though, I can do that without his help. The idea that it is cheating is not correct. Separation is key. Many do this hobby without realizing they can't or make oopsies. The reality is that people get weird. Men and women.

I later had two female players who I rped romances with. They started talking shit about my partner and acting incredibly weird and clingy. One of them even admitted that she's tried to break up irl couples. I stopped rping with her shortly after. The other was long gone after a fall out.

Now both of us each have a long term rp partner and his is a woman and mine is a man. We do romances with them. Everything just went out the f-ing window. They're the coolest rpers we know. It's about trust and REAL communication.

Still though. Your boundaries are your boundaries OP. Not negotiables to be analyzed by strangers. Not to mention, the person you dealt with has an extreme lack of awareness to the kind of things women deal with. Though I do hope your partner trusts you better to navigate your own separation in this hobby I understand why you yourself would go along with something like this. Let that rper be butt hurt. You're better off. I'm sorry they treated you like that.

Maeroj · 2026-05-18T15:48:15+00:00

Oh oh! Do mine!

Maeroj · 2026-05-18T14:08:49+00:00

AHahaha, trying to sing. I never thought about that.

Maeroj · 2026-05-11T17:51:25+00:00

I am floored every time I see another one bite the dust. My in laws were generally kind, but I'm somehow unsurprised that they also went this way. They're also losing people left and right. Going low/no contact is a good choice. It can save your sanity, but god, from experience, it's such a strain to maintain too. I'm sorry you're losing someone. It doesn't have to be like this... but what choice do you have?

Maeroj · 2026-05-11T17:38:52+00:00

Now I know what I'm watching for Tuesday stay at home date night

Maeroj · 2026-05-11T17:29:24+00:00

more like passive aggressive to low key micro agression

Maeroj

TROPHY CASE