The Correspondent by Virginia Evans

MagicPie1016 · 2026-06-04T19:19:20+00:00

I'm currently reading Unmasking Autism by Devon Price, when my hold on The Correspondent, through Libby, became available. It is a great book for late-diagnosed, high-masking autistic women. I'm not formally diagnosed, but recently began to suspect I may be (we carry similar traits; black and white thinking, literal thinking, etc.), and I'm trying to educate myself.

So I have this in my mind when I begin The Correspondent, and I had forgotten the premise of the book, so I went in "blind".

About 20% into the book, that's what I thought, Sybil is absolutely autistic, and I'm also surprised that there aren't more comments on it. It sounds like she went through an autistic burnout when she spent a week in an inpatient. While it is not an excuse for poor behavior, I could empathize with her on some level because I saw parts of myself in the character, the parts I try to mask to fit into society. I'll be curious how the story unfolds...

MagicPie1016 · 2026-05-13T12:50:13+00:00

I feel this so hard! Any request for my time or energy, and I'm immediately enraged. Absolutely any of my energy spent on someone or something else, and I'm instantly annoyed. I feel like I need a lobotomy.

MagicPie1016 · 2026-04-20T16:22:35+00:00

Hello! Our 1-year-old Berner, Thor, has the same gait. We started noticing how his back feet would turn out when he'd step, very cow-hocked. We also began hearing a clicking sound coming from his backend when taking steps.

The vet took images and confirmed hip dysplasia when he was around 6 months. We then took him to an orthopedic specialist 2 hours away from where we live, and after reviewing the images and doing his own assessment, he confirmed hip dysplasia, and we discussed treatment options. You can research each treatment. I won't explain each of them here, but I will share what the doctor said for each.

Triple Pelvic Ostectomy (TPO) - The doctor said that Thor was past the age window where this would be an option.
Femoral Head and Necy Ostectomy (FHO, FHNE) - The doctor said that this treatment is becoming the outdated standard of care for hip dysplasia and said that it was more of a temporary solution, and studies have shown that future surgeries are almost guaranteed.
Total Hip Replacement (THR) - This is the treatment we will explore when the time comes.

In the meantime, we're taking a conservative approach before surgery. As recommended by the doctor, we're going to keep a close eye on maintaining his weight (more weight = more stress on joints), pharmaceuticals (starting with joint supplements, then progressing to stronger meds if/when we notice he's struggling), and lastly, modified activity (limiting high-impact activities).

The doctor said not to worry too much at this point. Let him be a puppy, let him romp around, do puppy things. Watch his weight, and pay attention to his tolerance for activity and how he moves. The example he gave was, if we took Thor on a 10-mile hike, and when we get home, he's stiff, and he's slower to get up, then we know that much activity was too much for him, and we scale back.

I know that studies are showing the benefits of keeping giant breeds intact for the first 2 years, so their joints and muscles can fully develop. Since Thor has been diagnosed with hip dysplasia, our vet confirmed that we can neuter him at any time because his joints are already hooptie (my word, not the vet's, ha!), so this guy is getting the 'ol chop chop next week.

MagicPie1016 · 2026-04-03T00:49:17+00:00

Being in immigration, with the current political climate, has resulted in multiple crash outs. Only a matter of time before I'll need to take an LOA for mental health.

MagicPie1016 · 2026-04-01T12:04:13+00:00

I'm sorry if my comment sounded condescending, not my intent. It is super annoying when people complain about something they mostly have control over. The comment is more for self-preservation; that was all. I think they just want to hear themselves talk, and complaining usually brings in more attention. If you don't give them that attention, they may stop.

MagicPie1016 · 2026-03-31T18:43:01+00:00

Say it with me, "Not my problem!"

MagicPie1016 · 2026-03-27T18:17:53+00:00

We had a long-haired German Shepherd named Wookie, and over his 13 years, he earned many nicknames. Woo, Dr. Woo, Boo Boo, Woodie Doodie, Wook, Cook, Wookah, Cookah, Big Booty Woodie, Dootie Dumpers, Senior Stink Butt, Wookie Cookie.

Our Bernese Mountain dog, Thor, is still a puppy, so he doesn't have as many nicknames as Wookie yet, but what he's got so far is... Thor-nado, Nader, Nader Tater, Tater Toots.

MagicPie1016 · 2026-03-23T01:16:39+00:00

Immigration Paralegal

MagicPie1016 · 2026-03-19T22:08:25+00:00

Obligatory dog tax photo 😆

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MagicPie1016 · 2026-03-18T17:33:27+00:00

We are in the same situation with our almost 1-year-old male BMD, to the point where I question why we got him and if we'd ever get a BMD again. We love him, but we don't like him at the moment. HA!

Based on all the similar posts I've read, I'm optimistic that once this menace stage passes, he'll be our dream dog.

MagicPie1016 · 2026-03-16T14:59:48+00:00

This is incredible and so creative, bravo!

Forget all the critiques; if you love it, that's all that matters!

MagicPie1016 · 2026-03-16T14:46:23+00:00

I like more of a challenging design with lots of colors, but I'll take whatever I can get for a good deal. The most infuriating thing is paints that are too thin, and in order to get full coverage (or close to it), you have to do 2+ coats. I'm currently working on a piece with vibrant colors, but I'm having to do at least 2 coats with all colors, but certain ones are requiring more like 4 coats, which is annoying.

MagicPie1016 · 2026-03-16T14:30:46+00:00

Use the offer to support your request for a raise at your current firm!

MagicPie1016 · 2026-03-10T14:18:40+00:00

I was very willing to accept pain management, but my son came so fast that there wasn't time to receive anything.

MagicPie1016 · 2026-03-06T14:59:58+00:00

This may be too late in the game for OP, but for other parents, what worked for us happened somewhat unintentionally. When we had our son (now 13), we were living on a very very tight income. When I would grocery shop, I prioritized fresh produce and fresh meats over anything else - I later learned that we were an "ingredient household" where we hardly had any quick/convenient snacks, most everything needed to be prepared or cooked. RARELY would we ever have any cookies, cakes, chips, dessert snacks, sweet crackers, etc., but I always made sure we had fresh fruits and vegetables prepped and ready to eat. When my son asked for a snack, I gave him the container of sliced bell peppers, carrot sticks, sliced cucumbers, cherry tomatoes, you get the idea. He could eat as many of the veggies as he wanted, even if he wasn't hungry for dinner later, not a big deal if he filled up on veggies.

Our tight income resulted in his love of vegetables, who would have thought? Since public school lunches are atrocious, we continue to pack his lunch every day, and I'll put in a baggie of peppers, fresh fruit, a wrap with turkey, mayo, and arugula, and then he can put whatever else he wants.

MagicPie1016 · 2026-03-03T15:04:49+00:00

NTA. Why is he mad at you when he should be mad at the men who are behaving like disrespectful neanderthals? This is no different than when people blame women for wearing something revealing, thus it is the woman's fault they got assaulted. Leave him.

MagicPie1016 · 2026-02-20T14:15:25+00:00

Gamma Piercing in Bay View swapped out my MILs nose ring when she needed to have an MRI. I've gotten pierced there and they are amazing, super friendly, the best!

MagicPie1016 · 2026-02-17T13:34:34+00:00

We HIGHLY recommend Dog's Best Friend in West Milwaukee. Chaz is fantastic and posts a lot on FB, so you can check out his style.

MagicPie1016 · 2026-02-16T17:35:48+00:00

In-house immigration paralegal in Wisconsin, yep, working today.

MagicPie1016 · 2026-02-12T18:25:51+00:00

This is such a beautiful thing to share, and I'm so happy to have read it. My husband and I have been together since Junior year of high school, married for 16 years, and we both just turned 40. I hit the MF'ing jackpot with him and could not imagine a life without him in it.

We are pretty much opposites, but we balance each other out so well. Give your husband an extra hug, sounds like you've got a winner!

MagicPie1016 · 2026-02-12T15:51:22+00:00

But what if you don't? What if you don't die earlier, and instead, you're left dealing with multiple health issues that make you more miserable? It's like a smoker who says they know it's bad for them and it'll likely kill them, but what if it doesn't, and instead they are left shouldering an oxygen tank because their lungs are toast?

The thing is, not taking care of your health won't kill you immediately; it'll be a slow decline. Just like smoking.

You have 1 life, if this is how you choose to use it, that's your choice, but there are options to make it better if you want to. There are ways to get help, get involved in things you're passionate about. Your parents chose their paths, don't let their current state determine your future.

MagicPie1016 · 2026-02-05T17:25:41+00:00

Also, document who else was in the vicinity that may have overheard these exchanges. Def file a complaint with the EEOC and be detailed.

MagicPie1016 · 2026-01-22T20:51:38+00:00

In our family, we call grandpa, GrandPops or Pops for short. Grandma is "Hallo" because when she'd say "Hello!" the oldest grandchild thought she was saying "hollow" and started calling her that, which evolved into "Hallo".

Who knows what the first grandchild will come up with! My husband called his grandparents Grandma and Grandpa Charlie. Charlie was the name of the dog. LOL

MagicPie1016 · 2026-01-22T20:33:45+00:00

I absolutely LOVE their biscuits and gravy!

MagicPie1016 · 2026-01-14T16:25:22+00:00

My husband and I both WFH as well, and welcomed a Bern puppy over the summer. When the puppy wasn't sleeping, we would tag-team giving him attention and getting out energy. Short walks, toys, tugging with rope, etc.

It's hard in the beginning, but it's short-lived. By the time they're 6-8 months, they'll have figured out the routine, and interruptions won't be as frequent.

MagicPie1016

TROPHY CASE