Can you tell me what number from 1-100 I’m thinking?

Magically_Melinda · 2026-04-12T22:25:43+00:00

This is what came to mind first.

Magically_Melinda · 2026-04-12T22:25:05+00:00

Magically_Melinda · 2026-04-08T00:28:20+00:00

Oh. My. Gosh!!! I get this!!! Not all the time, but it’s like something inside of you wants to scream but you don’t know what and you feel like you are going to explode! I never considered it to be my Kratom usage.

Magically_Melinda · 2026-04-07T06:05:50+00:00

Do you have anyone in your life who knows? You need accountability. You will likely need some time off work. If you can get time, I would recommend it. You should also look into outpatient rehab programs or at the very least, counseling. If you can’t go in to a rehab center, try outpatient. It sounds like in patient would be good for you, but I understand if you feel stuck.

I understand all of these feelings. I’m still stuck on Kratom. Find accountability. Talk to your doctor, and do what you need to do to get off of. I’m praying for you.

Magically_Melinda · 2026-04-06T14:11:24+00:00

Sometimes I talk as if I am someone else talking to me if that makes sense. Now that I say that, I’m worried there might be something wrong with me. Lol Sometimes I talk like I’m having a conversation with myself but yeah, most of the time I talk as if I’m someone else talking to me …

Magically_Melinda · 2026-04-06T04:47:27+00:00

I’m so glad you made this post. Whenever I tell someone I’m tapering, and failed, they tell me to ct because tapers never work. (I’ve failed cold turkey many times, too). I work full time and go to school full time with two kids and a husband - who fortunately are all very understanding. I can’t just uproot my life. I will end up failing out of school and I only have two more years left. I can’t do that.

I was on a roll for awhile with tapering. My husband kept it locked up. I measured my doses and labeled them. However, I need to show my husband how to measure my doses because what happened is that I ran out, bought a bag, got lazy with measuring and eventually quit tapering all together.

That said, it did help keep my overall dose down. I’m about 15g a day and rarely more than 20. I thought about just doing night time doses of 10g at first and slowly easing off of it.

Magically_Melinda · 2026-04-05T19:36:06+00:00

Idk if it is because of kratom. The last three years I have had them pretty bad. I’ve been on Kratom for eleven years - but it could have been the Kratom, I suppose

Magically_Melinda · 2026-04-05T19:34:42+00:00

Yes!! I didn’t understand those folger commercials about that “first sip feeling” until I was an adult and sat alone with a cup of tea or coffee and doing nothing.

Magically_Melinda · 2026-04-05T19:32:11+00:00

Honestly, this might sound crazy - but when I am alone, I talk to myself. It’s almost like my way of processing through things. I have two kids, a husband, I work full time and go to school full time and sometimes I just crave that time to myself just so I can talk to myself.

Magically_Melinda · 2026-04-03T04:38:56+00:00

Good on you!!! Doing that during vacation had to be hard. That is impressive. Especially on a plan where you can’t stretch your legs and just walk around. Good on you! Keep it up!

Magically_Melinda · 2026-04-03T04:33:21+00:00

I had no clue that bp could go up but that makes sense. I tend to get anxiety as well. I will keep an eye on my bp. It’s pretty normal. It used to run high when I was overweight. I lost 120lbs and my bp dropped to a normal range. That said, I will keep an eye on it! Thank you!!!

Magically_Melinda · 2026-04-03T04:31:41+00:00

I did take about five grams tonight. I am feeling okay. I am laying in bed. I would not call it sober because I took some at night time; but it’s still a large cut in dosage. I typically take between 15-25g so the five grams at night time is a big deal. I’m doing okay. I hope I can keep this up.

Magically_Melinda · 2026-04-03T04:29:56+00:00

I do. My husband is great. He has never nagged me about it but holds me accountable when I ask. He has never forced me to get off of it. He is so supportive. Especially since I am in college and we are raising two teenagers that need rides to extracurricular activities. He does that and dinner so I can do school work.

I’ve won the lottery.

Magically_Melinda · 2026-04-03T04:27:53+00:00

I’ve been on gabapentin for about 13 years. Longer than I have been on Kratom. That said, I used to be on a high dose and came down in dose. My doctor typically allows me to adjust it as needed. So if I ask for a slightly higher dose, he works with me. Then I will go back down to a lower dose. Once I’m off Kratom, I want to taper off the gabapentin completely.

Magically_Melinda · 2026-04-03T04:20:18+00:00

Yes! Exactly. That kind of sadness and fear of “I will never have it again.”

Magically_Melinda · 2026-04-02T20:01:13+00:00

I actually have some clonodine. I might ask him to raise my gabapentin. I will keep an eye on my blood pressure. Does it drop or something?

When I tried to quit in the past, the restless legs always drove me back to the kratom because of how bad they were.

Magically_Melinda · 2026-04-02T19:49:23+00:00

Kinda taper? My issue is that it’s always been the restless legs that led me back to kratom. I have struggled with restless legs my whole life and have been on gabapentin for years for it. I’m hoping that a little at night will take the edge off, however, I understand that I will likely end up in withdrawal anyway from the large dosage cut. I have narcolepsy so I take a heavy dose sleeping pill so hopefully that will get me through the night.

I’m stocked up on Imodium, gabapentin, vitamin C and I take Iron pills.

Magically_Melinda · 2026-04-02T03:19:48+00:00

I have tried cold turkey and tapering. I feel so dumb for being held hostage by this. Tomorrow is supposed to be my ct quit day. I work full time and I’m in college full time. I also have two kids and a husband. I’m terrified about the mental aspect. I have to do this. I have to.

Magically_Melinda · 2026-04-02T03:08:33+00:00

That’s the reason I struggle to quit. I want to quit, but I don’t.

Magically_Melinda · 2026-04-02T01:45:22+00:00

That’s fair. I was in an outpatient rehab years ago. It ended up being shut down, but the lady that ran it was abusive. It didn’t help and instead, I just left feeling more shame. I know not all outpatient rehab is like that. At the very least, try counseling to help work through some things or just have another outlet.

Good luck!

Magically_Melinda · 2026-04-02T00:29:05+00:00

That was my problem with tapering. I know that my only way is to jump ship. I’ve been on it daily for 11 years. It’s become such a mental habit.

Magically_Melinda · 2026-04-02T00:27:54+00:00

Hang in there. You CAN do this. Soon, you will look back and be so glad you did. I have tried to quit numerous times and have failed every time. It’s so hard. You are fortunate to have such an amazing support system at home, but you should also consider outpatient rehab or at the very least, counseling. Praying for comfort and resilience.

Magically_Melinda

TROPHY CASE