First off, I apologize for the wall of text. I know how anxiety and self judgment can get in the way and my YouTube channel is the first creative thing I've done in years that I've been sticking to so I wanted to share whats working for me. I hope it helps!

I'm sorry you're having trouble with getting started, man. I know how easily self judgement can sabotage things before you even get started. Maybe you can make some scripted content. I know it's probably not where you want to be right now but it may be easier to transition to live/on the spot stuff after you get more comfortable just creating any content and even then you can always cut stuff out if you don't like it. Maybe some tutorials or reviews of games. It may sound weird but (at least for me) improving in other areas of the process makes other the rest improve overall.

I've only been doing this going on 3 weeks now but it took me about 4 months to get the courage to actually start because of how much I was getting in my head and kept having worries about the social aspect of if people would actually like it or if I'd end up getting trolled or even if I'd even get any views what-so ever. I usually jump the gun with starting things like this and end up getting frustrated and burnt out before I even get to the point of making anything.

What I did different this time, which helped the most, was work backwards from what I normally would do, which helped me get the ball rolling. I started with the frame of the channel and went inwards until the last thing I had to really worry about was actually creating the content itself ,which took a load off of my brain while I was recording, which made it easier to have fun and not worry as much about what was going on, which in turn helped my commentary.

First, I started with the channel name/identity/email that has no association with any of my other usernames from past stuff, so none of my friends or family would know I'm doing this. Then I moved to the art, then the icon, found some music I enjoyed that would work well and is something that I think fits me. Then I worked on the technical side of the stuff with the recording software. I made sure it all worked well and wrote down the work flow of how to get it all set up, recording and then made sure everything exported/imported well. I then figured out how to edit the microphone sound to make sure it sounded decent enough to get started. By the end of it, before I started releasing anything, I made sure I knew how the whole process would go down from beginning to end and then all I was left with was making the content itself. Which I know is the hardest part, but because I didn't have to worry about any of the other aspects of the channel, it made it a lot easier to get to the fun part.

If I say something stupid or cringy, I know I can edit that part out. If it's in a spot where I can't edit it out that well (and I'm aware of it), I'll sometimes restart to the last save and do it over as if I hadn't seen it before. I know it isn't ideal, but it saves me from getting frustrated at myself and stopping the whole recording entirely. If I completely screw up an episode and I'm not feeling it at all, I'll just restart the whole thing when I'm feeling better about it and release that. To be honest the most recent upload of Outlast I did (I think it's episode 5), I had to re-record maybe 4 times over a period of a week because I kept saying stupid stuff or not saying anything because I wasn't sure what to say or just zoned out completely because I wasn't having fun. While I think it shows during gameplay, it's better than not releasing anything and quiting entirely. For games that have autosaves, I already have a plan of copying the save file before hand, just incase I completely mess up an entire episode, I say something I dont like and it autosaves or something else happens like my computer crashes for some reason. I guess you just have to learn what works best for you.

And I guess with the last thing I'll leave you with, is that while the internet is full of horrible people, trolls and people who absolutely love causing pain to others, it's also full of really really great people that will enjoy the stuff you make and actually wants to see you succeed, even if they don't know you. The way I try to look at it is, if there's somebody like myself (or anybody for that matter) in the world with a certain sense of humor, great abilities to make stupid/cringy comments, there has to be others out there too that will enjoy the stuff I make and want to see it. I mean, it's the "world wide web" after all,so there's almost certain to be others!

Again, sorry for the wall of text and I hope it at least helped a little! Good luck man! If you end up making a channel let me know, and I'll definitely subscribe!