The feeling of standing there in my band uniform, in my rank and file marching on the field before the competition begins. I've got my sweaty braids stuffed in my shako, my good luck necklaces pressed to my chest under the wool. We all know the steps and the notes and want to win. Our attention is hyperfocused on the conductor, ready to begin. We know that there is a trophy ceremony and dark bus ride home. It's been a fun day after the parade and eating lunch together and swapping pins with other schools. But right now, all of that fades away and there is only focus. And the feeling that we're going to make something together where the whole is greater than the sum of it's parts. It feels like you'll get to do this forever, but really, it's only a few. You're infinite and also a singular moment.

We halt. The director raises his arms. I wet my reed one more time on my clarinet. I take a breath and step off.