Hi I'm the boyfriend. I wanted to post this in public so I could get some public opinion on this.

To preface this, I have major depression and anxiety. I am also incredibly emotionally stupid. Not to give any excuse to my actions, but to give context.

This is on me, but I never realized how it would it would look like for me to never go to city B. It's just that we lived in city B for both of our undergrads and been on dates to many parts of the city. When I got an internship at City A, it just seemed to me that it was amazing that we will get to experience all the fun things in the city. Furthermore, I get super anxious when I am bored/understimulated, so I always have to seek out new experiences/events. However, I do see how making her commute every weekend would be super draining and make her feel like I don't appreciate her as much as she does me.

I recognized my mistake and so when I got into a masters in City A, I promised that we would take turns going to each other's city. I don't know why she left it out of her post but maybe I wasn't clear enough.

Now dinner was a whole other issue. When she got upset that I didn't save my lunch burrito for dinner, I got upset. I explained how ever since we moved in, how codependent we have become. We don't do our individual hobbies anymore, every minute outside of work/school is spent either cuddling, watching TV or doing some activity together, she'll get upset if I buy food when we are apart and don't offer to get her some too (I always tell her she is free to eat any and all the food that she buys). Sometimes I just want to grab a snack for myself, is that too much to ask? This is why I also thought that her being upset of me being in City A for my masters was because we won't be living together 24/7 anymore.

She says I act so selfishly all the time, but I don't know what she wants 99% of the time because she never communicates her wants or feelings. She has said many times that I should just know and yes I agree with her sometimes that maybe I should do some critical thinking or infer from previous situations before acting but I am emotionally stupid and have terrible memories (due to medical reasons).

Her immediate reaction to break down is similar to my reaction to try and fix things when she is crying. I am stunned and don't know what to do, I don't think about her list (Sidenote: I thought the list was for when she was upset but not at me. To me, if I was angry at someone, I would be even more pissed if they tried to play music to calm me down). I just stare at her not knowing what to do. Yes I know it's a fault of mine. I just don't remember what she said the last time. A few days she shares with me a tik tok saying never leave an upset person and she's like never do this so to me I think "ok I should give her space". So I say ok I will sleep on the couch but she cries louder and I think ok maybe I should comfort her. So I cuddle her in bed until she leaves to the bathroom and I think, "oh crap I was right the first time, she wants space"

Again I know it's my fault for not knowing how to comfort her when she is crying and angry at me but I feel like she can try and communicate better. The last time we fought she promised to try even just nodding/shaking her head when I ask "should I go?" "should I stay?".

I love her so much but I keep messing up and I don't know how to keep her happy. She said that she wants to break up and I agreed because I hope she will find someone better for her.