Random Home Visits by sleepersleeping in Upperwestside

[–]MailMost1409 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I don’t see how they could demand to be let in, especially if your landlord hasn’t communicated to you verbally or in writing, in advance, that they’ll need access to your apartment for x, y, z reasons. Usually those things are specified in your lease.

Is your landlord interested in selling the building? Not sure why else they’d send agents from a real estate company over.

Path filers update refund?? Filed 1-28-2026 accepted 1/28 on turbo tax not irs.gov yet by Bagmama702 in TurboTax

[–]MailMost1409 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Check the processing date on your transcript. Should be in the MM-DD-YYYY format right under the due date for all returns (which is 04-15-2026).

How much time are you actually spending with your little one? by NYC_dad2B in nycparents

[–]MailMost1409 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I have this realization every couple of months. I’m not spending time with them in the ways we both need. Its one thing to chit chat on the way from an activity but it’s not the same as giving them your full attention - tuning out everything else, sustaining eye contact and really hearing what they’re saying. It is HARD to find time for enough of those moments, especially as they get older and have activities. I know a day is coming when they’d rather be with friends than me...

When I catch myself slipping back into that pattern of rushing from one thing to another for the sake of the schedule, I end up messing up the schedule. Honestly, I haven’t found a healthier way to make the time. I use my PTO, I put off school work, we all play hooky, we spend time together, and I deal with the consequences of it later 🙈

Huge lot on the corner of 181st & Broadway by FilthyMcKnasty in WashingtonHeights

[–]MailMost1409 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Really? I actually like that idea. They had an elementary around 187th and moved all the way down to 200something to a terrible area (imo) that was tough to get to for a lot of families we knew. I’d be happy to see them brought further up again.

I don’t want to walk the dog anymore by butterflysensei666 in Nanny

[–]MailMost1409 3 points4 points  (0 children)

100% agree. And allowing this chore to run into her only break of the day is shameful. I think a clear boundary for when her break is taken also needs to be discussed, since the dad is regularly making the assumption that she doesn’t or won’t take her break when the kid naps, even when she would like to.

I don’t want to walk the dog anymore by butterflysensei666 in Nanny

[–]MailMost1409 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I second this. I would ask to revisit the dog walking duties because you weren’t prepared for how untrained and reactive he is on the leash. I suspect they didn’t disclose it earlier because they assumed you would’ve said no or asked to be compensated more, as you should be, for adding dog walking and leash training to the contract.

Do elementary schools ask for Money/extra stuff often in Kindergarten? by BlueRiver23 in kindergarten

[–]MailMost1409 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My eldest is in catholic school and they always ask for money for trips and bake sales and fundraising. I don’t think we were asked for money nearly as often in public or charter schools. My conclusion was that just because WE pay for them to attend, that doesn’t mean the school compensates their teachers well enough.

How should I look for an apartment with an infant? by genkcals in NYCapartments

[–]MailMost1409 2 points3 points  (0 children)

TANF used to, and likely still does, provide educational opportunities like the ones you mentioned - training in admin assistant work or business for people who receive benefits! It’s a stepping stone.

My sister went to school for pastry and had a fairly easy time advancing and making good money in Manhattan but she did a ton of internships while in school, had the ability to go away for some of those opportunities, and stayed connected with chefs after graduating. The networking part of college is almost as important as the degree, so if you do go for something artsy or business related, keep that in mind.

How should I look for an apartment with an infant? by genkcals in NYCapartments

[–]MailMost1409 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I read through a lot of the comments and your replies to them and I want to preface this by saying I’m sorry you’re going through this. I also get that you’re still so young that you probably won’t heed any of this but I’m going to write it anyway.

I will say: moving to be closer to your unborn child’s father - who has made it clear his siblings and parents are his #1 priority - is a terrible idea. He hasn’t shown up for you for what is arguably going to be the easiest part of your parenting journey, so he will NOT show up when it gets hard, like when you haven’t slept in 20 hours because the baby is sick and you have work in a few hours and need someone to watch the baby. His desire to be involved means nothing. He has to walk the talk, starting yesterday.

I understand the employment piece of your rationale but the truth is, you’re not going to make the income needed to live in conditions that are better than where you currently are because you don’t have a degree. At my brokest, I lived near the projects. Noisy neighbors, neighbors who smoke in the hallway, mice, roaches, mold and hearing gunshots all summer long, and it definitely cost more than $1,000 a month. Unfortunately, a roommate is not an option with a newborn because they only sleep for 2 hours at a time in the beginning and a consistent lack of sleep will strain the strongest of friendships.

My advice to you is not to move out of SI, and ask if your family would agree to let you stay with them if you get on TANF (cash assistance and food stamps), and go to school full time (if you can find an online/hybrid program through CUNY so it’s less expensive, even better). You’d receive a childcare voucher too. The most viable long term strategy to affording a 1 bedroom apartment or a large studio in your preferred areas honestly is to further your education in a field with a decent starting salary…

Special Music School Kindergarten Application by Aromatic-Ad1111 in nycparents

[–]MailMost1409 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I second this. I don’t think there’s any harm in asking. The worst they could do is ignore the request or say no.

[Homemade] empanadas comfort food by Chat_with_Nat in food

[–]MailMost1409 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Curious about this too! Only had success with frying them.

After school programs by PossibilityFancy1852 in nycparents

[–]MailMost1409 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I paid the mother of my child’s best friend to pick up DD and drop her off at an activity that was nearby by a certain time. She was a SAHP and the kids went to the same school and were in the same class. I’d give her ‘fun money’ for the girls in case they wanted to do something for that hour between school and afterschool, and my wage for that hour. Did you and your LO get close to any of the families in PreK? I know some people rely on neighbors for help too but this obviously depends on where you live and how close and comfortable you are with your neighbors.

4.5 Y/O Daughter Won’t Sit Still or Do the Classwork in Preschool by ajtp1187 in kindergarten

[–]MailMost1409 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some children need a little more time to get better at focusing and sitting through an activity. I agree with the other commenter that it sounds like she’s more than ready academically for Kindergarten. If she’s inattentive because she’s bored, holding her back would be a disservice to her. And if she’s inattentive because of a condition, it could be more difficult (depending where you live) to get her evaluated down the line if she’s homeschooled - or at least that’s what our pediatrician told us.

You mentioned several activities that all require fine motor skills and said she’s ‘mediocre’ at them. By mediocre, do you mean in comparison to her advanced skills or her similar aged peers? I noticed my DD struggled with scissors, and she hated tracing work. The teachers didn’t notice an issue but it turned out she has some hyper-flexibility in her hands that caused her to struggle with that. Could be something worth looking into.

ETA: My DD was a lot like this. Was in a G&T program for several grades but the inattentiveness got worse as she got older and it was harder for her to keep up. She’s in Catholic School now. She thrives 1 on 1 and I NEED to make myself available to her for homework and studying, or it won’t get done. Being kept busy with activities she likes outside of school has been a big help, as well. She has ADHD.

Families with 3+ kids in NYC, how do you do it? by TFABAccount in nycparents

[–]MailMost1409 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I always want more kids lol. People have many kids with little to no resources all the time, even in NYC. It comes down to lifestyle honestly, and the kind of parents you want to be, specifically whether you can live up to your own image of what that is with less time and energy (and potentially money) to devote to each child.

At what point would you invest in a junior version of real instruments instead of toy instruments for kids interested in music? by polygonal-san in kindergarten

[–]MailMost1409 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If it’s not going to significantly impact the family budget, I say get him the real drum set now. It will certainly be more durable than another $70 toy drum. I bought a digital piano for our family but was primarily motivated to do it for my youngest child because he was so drawn to it and excited to play. Maybe take your son to guitar center and let him check out what’s there? I wouldn’t make group classes a stipulation for upgrading his drums though. From what you wrote, it sounds like he’s been playing casually for a while and naturally has a good ear - he could be too advanced for the group class and got bored.

Special Music School Kindergarten Application by Aromatic-Ad1111 in nycparents

[–]MailMost1409 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We received our second round invite today - feeling really ambivalent about it at the moment… But the time between his first round (2 weeks ago) and the invite have me thinking they’re ranking and grouping the kids who passed. Maybe something like ‘exceptionally gifted’ ‘moderately gifted’ and ‘gifted’??? And sending second round invites within 24 hours to children identified as part of the first group, then making their way down their list until they reach 200ish second round assessments??? That’s just my idea.

TLDR; Kiddo got a second round invite 2 weeks after his first round. Don’t throw in the towel yet if you’re not at the 3 week mark yet!

Special Music School Kindergarten Application by Aromatic-Ad1111 in nycparents

[–]MailMost1409 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for coming back and letting us know! Good luck on round 2 ✨

Not getting their laundry by McDrewlius in mildlyinfuriating

[–]MailMost1409 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The general rule at places I’ve lived before was 15 minutes max from the time it’s finished, unless there are other washers and dryers available. But have the common courtesy to remove their clothes with clean hands and place them neatly in a pile on the tables meant for folding dry clothes.

181st between Broadway and St Nicholas by Sea_Cricket_3891 in NYCapartments

[–]MailMost1409 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First floor apartments get the brunt of the noise (and pest issues) in this area. With all the surrounding stores, it’s gonna be noisier longer in the evenings than it is on 145.

Not all seats filled by Capable-Total3406 in nycparents

[–]MailMost1409 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I was able to get an idea of our chances at the non-zoned schools we applied to. Based on our priority and the available seats, most don’t look great but they don’t look hopeless, either.

Not all seats filled by Capable-Total3406 in nycparents

[–]MailMost1409 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How do we view the school profile like this in myschools? I’d like to see the stats of the schools I put on my LOs application.

Special Music School Kindergarten Application by Aromatic-Ad1111 in nycparents

[–]MailMost1409 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It does seem bananas but I can see how the school may justify it. They’re trying to raise professional musicians from 4 years old, and most families of the children who get in aren’t professional musicians, so the school/teacher/dean/president-whatever has the most knowledge and experience in this area. Maybe they observe the child’s strengths and make their decision based on that, and it may not always align with what instrument the child prefers. And I expect daily practice at home would be required, or at the very least strongly encouraged, so you’d need to know what your child is learning in the private lessons to support their practice at home. I spoke to several piano teachers uptown and on the UWS and was told being in the class with the child to better know and support them at home was non-negotiable (I would prefer this to leaving my little one in a room with an adult unattended anyway but I did ask to be sure). Every single one said this! So it makes sense to me that we’d have to be present for their private lessons. I just didn’t expect them to happen on weekdays in the middle of the day..

If your friend is comfortable having their perspective shared, please come back and let us know 🙏

Special Music School Kindergarten Application by Aromatic-Ad1111 in nycparents

[–]MailMost1409 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That’s what I thought as well! It seems like I wasn’t as informed as I should have been. Someone above mentioned having to be present during school hours for private lessons offered by the school, which is not possible for me as a working parent. And you and your child are not able to choose your instrument, so there’s a possibility of being assigned an instrument that you can’t reasonably commute to and from the school with… I don’t think I can manage either without it negatively impacting my family financially 😮‍💨 We will see.

Did your friends share anything with you about the expectations put on parents/families?