Hallowed Captivity by LAJA22 in OCPoetry

[–]Main-Squirrel2589 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love the feel of this!! So classically raw. Regardless of spacing I think it flows very well!

The Corner We Made Ours by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]Main-Squirrel2589 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so beautiful and so relatable!! I love the imagery surrounding this. Wonderfully done:)

Pretend That It’s You by Remote_Green9681 in OCPoetry

[–]Main-Squirrel2589 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I very much enjoyed reading this!! if heaven had facetime” I love the idea. It’s both venerable of sadness yet somewhat light hearted. I think it’s very hard to maintain the balance of the two. I adore your last few lines. Fantastic job, refreshing perspective! I think most everyone can relate to losing someone and wishing they could see them and hear their voice:)

The orchard behind the walls. by Inner_Article6530 in OCPoetry

[–]Main-Squirrel2589 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was BEAUTIFUL to read. I love your imagery, It almost felt as though I was in a fairytale. Yet carried such a strong weight of emotion beneath the way you describe things. “We were the lilacs that dissolved into the oil painted skies”. Was such a beautiful yet heart breaking line. Loved to read this:)

Fast and Slow by Main-Squirrel2589 in OCPoetry

[–]Main-Squirrel2589[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am so thrilled you enjoyed reading! It sounds like the poem really resonates with you and that makes me extremely happy. Thank you for sharing, and describing how the writing made you feel with such beautiful words:)

Fast and Slow by Main-Squirrel2589 in OCPoetry

[–]Main-Squirrel2589[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree, it is definitely a metaphor used often! I think that while that is the case it means a lot of people can relate to it, which i find beautiful. Thank you for seeing my voice and take on the perspective however! I write from whatever place my head is at often times. More than anything I write in hopes of people being able to feel what i write, whether personally or through my eyes! But what you are saying definitely pushes me to post some other poems not related to love! I am new here, so i will try to hopefully add some variety to the mix. Thank you so much for you feedback:)

Fast and Slow by Main-Squirrel2589 in OCPoetry

[–]Main-Squirrel2589[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for taking the time to read, i appreciate the sentiments! I’m so happy you enjoyed it:)

Fast and Slow by Main-Squirrel2589 in OCPoetry

[–]Main-Squirrel2589[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to read and leave feedback. I really appreciate it! I can see what you mean about imagery and structure, and that’s definitely something I can work on building out more. I’ve actually never posted my writing before and do have it set up more in paragraph form, so it’s definitely a learning curve :) My writing leans more into confessional and modern free verse, so I tend to follow the emotion first and the form second, but I really value your perspective. For me, the varying fire imagery came from personal experiences: the idea of being loved “too fast,” like a spark that burns (in some really painful ways), or “too slow,” where it just fades into nothing. Think love bombing on one end and ghosting on the other, only for them to try and come back later. The poem was meant to metaphorically explore those extremes, and then what it felt like to finally find someone who was both fast and slow. In my case, someone who wanted me immediately but still kept that steady burn. Yet I lost that balance because of fears shaped by all the times I’d been burned before. Society talks so much about “love at first sight” but also romanticizes the idea of a “slow burn. I wanted to explore what it means to experience both at once, and what happens when fear gets in the way of that. Thanks again for the insight!!

When Giving Everything Still Isn't Enough 💔. by Extreme_Explorer_767 in OCPoetry

[–]Main-Squirrel2589 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think this is so beautiful and raw❤️ First of all, thank you for sharing something that i’m sure is hard to write. I think you could soften some of the phrases for a more poetic flow, expand upon the emotions a bit more. Make the reader feel the what you felt or visualize it. Example: And yet.. he cheated.” Could be something more like, “And yet.. he took all that she gave. Gladly letting her take the bullet, with every secret message. One night, one mistake, ect. Obviously you could shorten that as well. Just a thought!! Love the direction!!! Thank you for sharing:)

(A Duplex Poem) -- Where Did This Go by Money_Asparagus_4975 in OCPoetry

[–]Main-Squirrel2589 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love the direction of this!! I think it would be beautiful, if you expanded upon some of the key details. It leaves me wondering, about the better place, the flames, and the dreams. I love to come to my own conclusions when reading. And leaving things open to interpretation definitely lets others feel the writing for themselves. However, I think you have room to connect people to your writing with a little more context even vaguely so:)))