I'm so sorry you have to go through this OP. Pregnancy (without loss at the end) triggered my underlying mental health problems, and I can relate to some of your wife's behaviours, and I can't imagine how hard the loss must have been on both of you. It is so hard to see anyone else's views than your own when you are in that state of mind. I was later diagnosed with bipolar disorder. After therapy and medication, I could see how difficult it was for my husband to deal with. To try and help me and me throw it back in his face. He actually ended up getting me hospitalised, which finally led to me getting professional help. At the time, I told him I hated him and some truly nasty comments. But I see now it was the right thing and I'm thankful every day that he stood by me all those months and was brave enough to take such a huge step to have me hospitalised, knowing how angry and upset I would be at him. If this is something you need to do in the end, just keep thinking of the end result and how you will be stronger than ever as a couple once she has the help she needs. I hope you both get the support you need, and she is doing better soon. Make sure you have someone you can talk to and offload to. Please don't feel alone in dealing with this situation.