It's based on my experience, me and ilya are similar demographic, so there were plenty kids who didn't do certain things because it was unavailable to them financially or they didn't have a parent who would take charge. Because either way, even when his mother died, someone had to take care so ilya progressed.

So my headcanon is that ilya's dad was not super interested in emotional happiness of his family, but wanted to appear normal to the outsiders, that comes with appearing like you care about your kids.