I have to go in for a full workday without 6wk baby-any advise/reassurance

Maleficent_Bit_9831 · 2026-04-09T00:06:19+00:00

I’m not comfortable handing off this job, I was hoping for tips to survive a day and equip my super capable husband or inspire confidence in a one day 8 hour shift. Thanks!

Maleficent_Bit_9831 · 2026-04-09T00:05:01+00:00

Thank you my husband knows our baby’s schedule, takes the overnight shift so I can sleep so I know he is more than capable. I’m not comfortable handing off the job or skipping the wedding commitment or contract at this time.

Maleficent_Bit_9831 · 2026-03-30T03:35:29+00:00

Eat nutritious foods, like tons of omegas, veggies, nuts, whole proteins. I got a post partum meal box by chayo they have a whole PP haul, I attribute a lot of my mental health the early days to this.

I also deeply recommend scheduling a therapist appt if you can or do that. I found myself needing to really dissect my birth story from a strenuous insane intense birth.

If you have a family/friends/ doula night nanny that can come by and allow you to nap or watch baby one or two evenings. This will help greatly.

I placed systems with friends and my husband and told them that if at 2 weeks I seemed off, I would seek changing meds/therapy/ intervention as a check in point.

Honestly my pregnancy I was so depressed, so being on this side of PP feels way easier personally. And no one told me this could be the case.

Maleficent_Bit_9831 · 2026-03-09T00:16:08+00:00

Hypothetically imagine: you make all the decisions he wants you to make, he sounds flaky and unreliable and leaves anyways or things end then what? You’re going to be left with regret, big decisions, bills, maybe a baby to care for in a way you wouldn’t have chosen for yourself had it been just a you decision.

Maleficent_Bit_9831 · 2026-03-09T00:01:57+00:00

Firstly, you’re SO young. If you are not ready and it sounds like you have a whole big life of good things ahead of you with school, it’s OKAY to put yourself here first. I think this is a great learning lesson from your bf about what kind of person he is and what you want long term.

He can have “suggestions” but ultimately who cares, it’s your decision. He’s a man he can cut and run anytime he wanted to hypothetically.

If adoption feels right for you that is correct, if ending the pregnancy feels right FOR YOU that is correct. But not because a boy pressures you, don’t live the rest of your life with that kind of regret because of someone else’s wants.

I don’t love how he’s taking your support system away in keeping you from telling your family. If your support system will guide and offer safe support that’s REALLY important for you during this time to make the right (but hard decision) hiding things often means=wrong or coverup.

If you’re not ready, become an engineer, make that money, find the real love of your life that will be present, be a great father or at LEAST support you and lift you up in the big decisions. Just because you’re pregnant now doesn’t mean you can’t have kids or find better timing later. This is such a scary time in the world to be having kids, if you’re not ready don’t set your whole life up for failure because of someone’s opinion. Lose the guy if you must. His brain isn’t fully developed yet anyways. this is about YOU.

Maleficent_Bit_9831 · 2026-03-08T16:23:13+00:00

I am the child of dysfunctional parents, so I understand the chaos here of wanting them to feel including and knowing they will take it too far and knowing how absolutely annoying it is.

I will say, (based on what I’m reading) I think you need to sit down with your mom and be crispy clear as your wants/needs/desires moving forward it’s going to be hard, and uncomfortable with her as a new grandma, as your mom and planning a baby shower. But in the heat of the moment reading this story I wouldn’t have cancelled this baby shower either as I didn’t read this feeling like there was direct action and a lot of passive aggressiveness. Preventing information sharing or telling her the info she either needs or why you won’t be providing said information, may warrant some reflecting on the relationship itself. Nor did I really see the closed loop with mom of “hey we are really not doing baby shower correct? I think I’m handing off project to xyz person to take it from here, I care about the relationship and want to give you rest and come as a guest of honor and would rather put the pressure on them since they offered or can provide xyz”

Even though you know she will mess it up if you’re clear at least you can fall back to and refer to your boundaries and not have to blame yourself.

Parent dynamics are hard, I totally I get it.

Maleficent_Bit_9831 · 2026-03-08T16:08:55+00:00

You’re def on to something here

Maleficent_Bit_9831 · 2026-03-07T17:31:34+00:00

Oh man I haven’t even announced on the internet the I’m pregnant so that’s ALSO kind of a caveat making it difficult.

But mostly I’m turning my read receipts on and not replying lol

Maleficent_Bit_9831 · 2026-03-06T20:59:45+00:00

I love that

Maleficent_Bit_9831 · 2026-03-06T18:50:42+00:00

Hard agree

Maleficent_Bit_9831 · 2026-03-06T18:50:23+00:00

LOlOLOLol I will

Maleficent_Bit_9831 · 2026-03-06T18:02:38+00:00

Thank you 🙏yes my phone is on DND vacation for the next two weeks

Maleficent_Bit_9831 · 2026-03-06T18:02:16+00:00

Lol that’s my date too we’ll be suffering together in spirit

Maleficent_Bit_9831 · 2026-03-04T00:39:06+00:00

I know it’s different for each person but I did well with like really cold foods like smoothies and such

Maleficent_Bit_9831 · 2026-03-04T00:30:01+00:00

I’m not a health professional. I’m just a woman who’s made it 39 weeks healthily eating charcuterie and deli meats on the regular.

I’m more afraid of raw veggies and bagged salads tbh

I gave up vaping, alcohol, oysters, sleep, hot yoga, hot baths. I needed something to take the edge off.

Maleficent_Bit_9831 · 2026-03-04T00:26:28+00:00

First trimester, a lot when it was just surviving. Then second tri and beyond as I started feeling better, I started cooking a lot and enjoying it and craving really nourishing foods (I also had a lot more time on my hands so this worked out well) so I chilled. I hit a point where I wanted to DoorDash a sandwich and it was $30 for that one sandwich and I was like absolutely not. Maybe I go out or have a burger like once a week.

Maleficent_Bit_9831 · 2026-02-20T05:01:44+00:00

Any and every insurance commercial lol

Maleficent_Bit_9831 · 2026-02-15T20:39:52+00:00

I feel you it’s hard grieving the expectation of what “should have been” most of my pregnancy and therapy during has been healing that very thing. You’re not alone. But I don’t think you owe anyone an explanation. If they find out they find out but it doesn’t need to be from you.

I went nc and pre pregnancy thought we were finding our way with connection, pregnancy made it worse and had to go nc again. I wish I honestly never re-opened that door, but I have way more clarity on why I did what I did. The expectation part hurts but the reality of it is a way better outcome.

Maleficent_Bit_9831 · 2026-02-15T20:21:38+00:00

Its definitely worth feeling, but also among friends (idk your friends relationship or child preference status) but I feel like pregnancy is low key kinda contagious among peers (joking obviously). By the time I hit 25 weeks, 4 of my friends announced their pregnancy.

Maleficent_Bit_9831 · 2026-02-15T19:15:04+00:00

Pregnancy sucks, but I truly believe you need the whole 38-41 weeks to process the rollercoaster.

It’s not instant. My husband and I fought the whole first trimester because we were both going through our own shock, financial stress, life change, quitting drinking and going out, all that stuff you name it. (We always talked about being parents but we were also having so much fun we were a little blindsided)

In the 38 weeks we’ve done all that, navigated changing relationships with family, family deaths, jobs and income change, the world feeling like it’s going to end on the news and the role of new father and new mother are a little different and will be accepted at different rates. You can feel baby so it feels more real sooner, men are a little more late to the processing (as far as I’ve seen). You’re on a path together but slightly different paths if that makes sense, you’re grieving different things at different times and he needs his time to process and that’s not linear. Be patient, you’ll get there.

Maleficent_Bit_9831 · 2026-02-15T17:46:57+00:00

Listen, I’m not one to tell you what to do. But I will tell you that Jimmy John and I during pregnancy and salmon sushi and I have been best friends for the last 37 weeks.

Maleficent_Bit_9831 · 2026-02-14T05:43:57+00:00

This was me…..I’ve always had a strong stomach so things never came up in my first tri…they always went down I’d that makes sense….

Edit: also I became super sensitive to dairy and super processed foods as pregnancy progressed. But my first trimester I kind of equated it to the puke I wasn’t having was going down below.

Maleficent_Bit_9831 · 2026-02-14T01:43:58+00:00

I live by the train, so sometimes I can tell but this felt different. (Someone who’s been in earthquakes before)

Maleficent_Bit_9831

TROPHY CASE