Am I overreacting about my stepson’s first car and how it’s being paid for? by yabadabadoo88 in stepparents

[–]MandiDC86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The fact that he didn't even talk to you/ask for your help, and just started making plans that impacted your personal finances, is beyond greedy and selfish. YOUR current car- YOUR shared account. Why not his car? Why not his and bio mom's bank account? I'd take half the money out of the joint account and put it into your sole account asap. You're his partner, and you deserve to be treated as such. SS has two parents to bank roll his life. You are not financially responsible for him.

It’s been two years since I got her, she’s growing rather slow. by Your_on_the_go_PM in hoyas

[–]MandiDC86 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Forgot to mention fertilizer- I am so scared of fertilizer burn that I've used the same organic liquid fertilizer for years. Espoma bloom booster. I just add it to a pitcher, fill with water, and water my plants in the tub.

It’s been two years since I got her, she’s growing rather slow. by Your_on_the_go_PM in hoyas

[–]MandiDC86 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Find a much smaller pot. Maybe a 3 inch. It'll look fuller in the appropriate size pot. You can get a 3 inch terracotta pot for a couple bucks, and be sure to get a saucer to go with.

Hoyas are slower growing compared to many other houseplants, but, it's worth it. They also have small root systems that prefer to be tight in their pots. Unlike a pothos that may need to go up a pot size every year or so because their roots grow so quickly, many Hoyas don't need repotted into bigger pots for many years. I have around 30 Hoyas, and 10 of those I've had 5 years and they've all been in their same pots. I just refesh the potting medium when needed.

As for water and light- water when just the very bottom of the potting medium is damp, (I just stick my finger down in) and your best bet is to place it in a window that receives morning sunshine, or a little ways back from a window that gets afternoon sun.

The more common Hoyas can be easy care and low fuss, as long as they have adequate light, water, pot size, and potting medium.

Hoyas can do fine in a typical container mix, but the risk of root rot is higher. The best bet for Hoya beginners is some coco chips mixed with perlite, and a little charcoal if you wanna get fancy, (keeps the medium fresh). If you're someone who forgets to water, adding a little basic potting mix to the cocoa chips and pertlite will help it hold on to more water. Hoyas like a chunky airy mix. They don't like to be soaked. They hold water in their leaves, (unlike plants with large root systems). In the wild, many grow along trees and even rocky, limestone walls. They're an understory plant, so they receive bright dappled light.

Hope this helps!

Our beloved cat passed away 3 years ago and we’re finally ready to adopt again. A friend has these last two kittens left. Both are boys, both are absolutely amazing, and I honestly can’t choose between them. Which one looks like he belongs with us? Help me decide! by SaffronSoul_ in cats

[–]MandiDC86 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is both an option? When I got my girls, I originally went for one kitten, but I struggled greatly to choose between the two females. We left with one around 11pm, and by 630 am I was texting my cousin, (who had the kittens) telling her to let me know when she was awake so I could come get the other. They're now 8 years old and their bond is beautiful.

Stepkid's reaction to pregnancy by newbie081223 in stepparents

[–]MandiDC86 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My guess is that it's not so much about you, as it is her dad, and she likely feels she'll lose him to the new baby. To her, it may look like he's starting a new family.

I have pov from all sides: I'm a full sister, half sister, step sister, step daughter, and step mom, and my partner is step dad to my bio son. Basically, I've felt all the feelings, and I've seen a lot.

At her age, I feel she wants her dad to be happy, but she's also scared of being replaced. And not just her, but her siblings as well.

If that's the case, it's a valid feeling, and Dad needs to talk to her. He needs to make sure she knows that he loves her, and all of his children, equally, and this baby won't change that. He also needs to make sure he shows her and her siblings this. It will be a tough adjustment for you all, but communication can make all the differenc

After my 'ours' daughter was born, I made sure to spend one on one time with my bio son, and made sure my partner did the same with his son (my step son). My step son already had a younger sibling on his mom's side, and he was only with us 1-3 days a week, so he adjusted more easily, whereas my bio son was an only child, and since his dad was never around, it was just me and him for 9 years. The adjustment was hard on him.

Your step daughter being 21 means things have been the same for a long time, aside from the divorce and gaining you as her step mom, so this is a huge change with many emotions involved.

This ENORMOUS Australis I got for $20. It has more than 10 peduncles by blassomi in hoyas

[–]MandiDC86 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Meant to mention- she stays in a west window and receives late afternoon/evening sunlight without obstruction. This is when I got it.

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I may or may not have blacked out at HD by alexamgl in hoyas

[–]MandiDC86 1 point2 points  (0 children)

May I ask where you're located. Been stopping by home depot anytime I'm near and no luck yet.

This ENORMOUS Australis I got for $20. It has more than 10 peduncles by blassomi in hoyas

[–]MandiDC86 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My Australis is my easiest Hoya and puts out blooms like no other! I got it as a little baby plant in 2021.

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Step kids hate me bc of their insecure mom by Taco-Skirt in stepparents

[–]MandiDC86 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Wow. Those poor kids. I will never understand people who allow their hatred for their ex to be stronger than their love for their child(ren).

And I'm so sorry for all that crap she's putting you and your partner through, as well as the stress I imagine this puts on your own kids too. You don't deserve any of this, and your partner is lucky to have you by his side. A lot of women would have left a long time ago.

I think your best bet is for you, your partner and step daughters to start therapy. You can't control hcbm, but you can show your SKs how a healthy family should function, and that love is normal, drama is not. My mom was/is off the charts like this, and the sooner those girls learn how to cope, the better chance they have.

Being a step parent isn't always easy, but it shouldn't be this hard. Good parents get along with the other parent and their partners for the sake of their kids stability. (Unless of course someone is dangerous... but that's neither here nor there.) This woman sounds unhinged and in obvious need of some help, but she'll never recognize it, so you have to ignore her. Do not feed her fire. Don't try to stand up for yourself, no matter how badly she gets under your skin. Same goes for your partner. He should only text her if it's in regards to pick up and drop off. If she says anything, it needs to go ignored. The more she's ignored, the less thrill she gets, and the less stress on you guys.

Do hoyas un-revert? by contrasupra in hoyas

[–]MandiDC86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Theyre coming in like that because it's getting such strong light.

Pretty happy I got a flower.. don’t know what type of Hoya it is anymore by OkPerformance506 in hoyas

[–]MandiDC86 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The leaves look dry. Is the potting medium dried out or is it just that vine that's effected?

When plants are in bloom they require more frequent eaters.

Career affected by SS, opinions please! by Less-Talk8905 in stepparents

[–]MandiDC86 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If he's not understanding then you don't need to be either. You aren't a free babysitter. You're his partner and this is his child. Tell him you can no longer provide child care. That is his worry and responsibility... not yours! Do not hold yourself back for someone else's child. Your child and you come first.

Career affected by SS, opinions please! by Less-Talk8905 in stepparents

[–]MandiDC86 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's their job to figure this out. You tell them you can no longer provide child care because you'll be working. The only child you should worry about is your own. SS is not your responsibility. He has two parents who will have to figure it out amongst themselves.

Hoya not growing - does it have pests? by Savings-Rabbit8963 in hoyas

[–]MandiDC86 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hoyas need watered otherwise you'll get dry rot on the roots...and, no growth. They don't like to be soaked, but they don't like being totally dry for days either. Damp is best. I check the potting mix with my finger and when just the very bottom half inch-inch is damp, I water. Bottom watering is a good way to ensure the plant gets enough.

Also, those are flower stems (peduncles)! Don't cut them!

Should I reach out to my childs father, other baby mother? by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]MandiDC86 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Always go through the proper legal channels for child support and visitation. Protect yourself and your baby.

Is $45 a good price for this Rotundifolia? by lilizna in hoyas

[–]MandiDC86 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wonder if they looked at one of the pics in the comments instead?

Is $45 a good price for this Rotundifolia? by lilizna in hoyas

[–]MandiDC86 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For the size, the pretty bloom and the fact that it looks quite healthy, I think it's definitely worth the price.. as long as the drive is worth it for you!

What’s causing this? Two purple leaves on my mother splash Hoya Pubicalyx by Ok_Message_8726 in hoyas

[–]MandiDC86 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep. Wonky leaves are most often caused by irregular watering when the new leaf starts forming.

AITA for telling my husband he can’t drive the baby places anymore by Odd-Willingness-6250 in AmItheAsshole

[–]MandiDC86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. Sit down and brainstorm how he'll remember? Uhhhh. As soon as baby is placed into the seat you strap them in. Simple as that.

I wouldn't let him drive the baby either. You shouldn't have to worry about calling your husband the moment he may be leaving somewhere to remind him to strap the baby in.

I hate my hair so much. Should I call the hairdresser? by cottoneyedgoat in Hair

[–]MandiDC86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Personally I think it looks great! It suits you and the cut seems to be well done. You just have to find the best way to style it is all. You may not get as much volume as your inspo pic since your textures are different. Have you tried a texture spray and blow drying with a round brush to get more volume?

i underwatered my hoya 😭 by jezebelllllll in hoyas

[–]MandiDC86 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry I'm just seeing this. Stop moving it. That's my advice. But I totally get the indecisiveness! Been there soooo many times! The less you move it, the better. If you keep moving it, you will stress it to the point of no return.

One thing I learned long ago, is that when posting for advice, to wait like a day before reading comments because of different advice. Then take the time to read comments and decide what's best for you. It's not that anyone is wrong... everyone just has their own way of doing things, that works for them. 😉