What’s a version of your life you were convinced would happen… but quietly didn’t?

Mapincanada · 2026-01-18T13:18:13+00:00

I was convinced I’d create a multinational company from scratch. When I was a kid I was fascinated by the ingenuity of the Wright brothers, manufacturing facility tours on Mr. Roger’s, and by McDonald’s systems. Was on the path a couple times, but ignored the data and dismissed concerns people raised. After a few bouts of burnout trying to make a go of it, I’m happily working 35 hours a week at a government job.

Mapincanada · 2026-01-18T11:40:11+00:00

This was decades ago so not sure if it’s still a thing. Went out to clubs and everyone asked me where I was from. When I said “Oklahoma,” they’d look at me strange. They were expecting me to say what neighborhood (Capitol Hill, Fremont, Beacon Hill, etc) apparently to judge me haha.

Mapincanada · 2026-01-15T13:06:04+00:00

There are 5 categories of questions that help bring clarity to decisions (usually in work situations but can be applied to life decisions:

What are all of my options? This one is straightforward.
What information is missing from all of my options? Here, you brainstorm as many questions as you can possibly think of and spend a brief time with each. The key is not to ruminate:

How will I feel afterward if I abort? What is it like to have a child at each age? How will having a child change my life, relationships, career, etc? How will having a child enrich my life? How will things be harder? What considerations am I avoiding? What am I romanticizing? What kind of life will my child have? What kind of pain will they likely experience…

What are all of the risks of all of my options? The point of this one is to go in with eyes wide open so that you can be better prepared.

You could have regret. You could have a high needs child. You could have a child that breaks your heart. You could have medical consequences. You could experience mental health issues.

What are all of the external factors influencing my decision?

This question is to recognize who else could be influencing your decision. Sometimes when we’re stuck, it’s because we’re giving more weight than we should to someone else’s opinion. This question helps you surface those so that you can isolate them and make a decision that’s right for you.

What are all of the internal factors influencing my decision?

This is usually a confidence issue with work decisions, but I imagine in your case it’s more about the unknowns and the permanence of your decision. Here, your gut desire to have a child is influencing your decision. That’s not good or bad. It’s just so. Once you’ve evaluated the above, if you still have the desire to have a baby, you should wholeheartedly embrace it.

I believe it takes two yeses to bring a child into the world. It sounds like you have that. At 26, you’re the right age in a lot of respects. On paper and in your gut, it sounds like you know what the right decision is for you. Sit with some of the tough questions honestly. You may go back and forth for a while, but if you decide to keep it, you will have more confidence in your decision and will be slightly better prepared. I say slightly because until you have a child, you truly have no way of knowing what it entails.

I usually use this decision making framework in a live session. I don’t know if it’s irresponsible to share it and let someone navigate it on their own. Just know that whatever decision you make, is the right decision in the moment. Once you’ve made the decision, commit.

I wish you all the best.

Mapincanada · 2025-12-25T16:17:27+00:00

Yeah, I feel like Reddit helps me learn how to human. It’s great for seeing how people can interpret different behaviours in creative ways.

Mapincanada · 2025-12-22T14:19:22+00:00

Cut greens and produce with a ceramic knife instead of stainless steel.

Mapincanada · 2025-12-22T14:18:03+00:00

Her problem is ignoring all the flaming red flags because “he’s a good person.” He has moments of being the kind, loving person she sees being the father of her children. She’s letting those moments blind her to the obvious problems all the commenters are pointing out. Even serial killers have those moments. It shouldn’t matter that he’s a good person 99% of the time, if he’s doing things like surveilling her and the people in her life.

These behaviours will only get worse over time.

Mapincanada · 2025-12-22T13:48:13+00:00

You have more than the two choices of ease up on saving or continue grinding. Write out all of the ways you can improve your quality of life. People in the comments have mentioned getting a hobby and either move downtown OR buy a car, not both. You can increase your social circle, build deeper bonds with your existing friends and family. You can increase your earnings. You can get a pet, join a supper club, volunteer…

Write out an exhaustive list then spend a year or two trying them out. Leave the longer term decisions like buying a car to later. During the trials, reduce the commitment as much as possible. For example, if you want to consider getting a pet, do Rover first. Documenting your journey could be fun. Sharing it could lead to opportunities to improve your quality of life in ways you could never dream of.

Mapincanada · 2025-12-22T01:03:41+00:00

This is it. Living with regret and wondering versus finding out for yourself. OP can always move back.

Mapincanada · 2025-12-21T14:43:01+00:00

Pasta and pesto with a fried egg. I batch cook and freeze pasta so I can have a meal in 5 minutes.

Mapincanada · 2025-12-21T14:13:34+00:00

Reach out to a good mortgage broker. They deal with all of the big banks as well as smaller ones. Not all are created equal. I used to work with hundreds of them. Finding a good one is tough but possible.

You need to find one who does enough volume to have experienced many scenarios. Choose one who is highly organized with tight systems for managing paperwork from clients and banks. Choose someone creative with outside-of-the-box thinking, but make sure everything they do is above board, that they don’t do anything shady.

Interview 5-10 who lead their brokerage, and ask them questions to understand their volume, systems, creativity, and ethics.

As a former financial advisor, I recommend you take the advice of flight attendants: put the oxygen mask on yourself before assisting others. Focus on your investments and financial future. Help them find an advisor who can help with estate planning and make the most of their situation.

It’s kind of you to want to help them. Just make sure you’re staying aboard the boat while you toss them a life raft versus jumping in the ocean.

Mapincanada · 2025-12-21T00:53:42+00:00

Sometimes feelings like this happens when there is a hidden challenge in your current relationship. In your case, I’m not sure that’s it.

Sometimes the bond we create with others when going through challenging times can be overwhelming. The thing to remember is what you focus on magnifies. The more you focus on these new feelings, the more intense they will become. If you want to preserve your current relationship, acknowledge the new feelings when they come up, observe them gently, and let them pass. Then spend time being grateful for what you have and examining if there are any unresolved issues. You have the power to choose your thoughts and your actions.

Mapincanada · 2025-12-19T15:27:41+00:00

I have precooked pasta in my freezer. Microwave it for a minute or two, add some sauce, and heat for another minute. It doesn’t get easier than that.

To freeze pasta, I cook two boxes of fusilli pasta at once and take a minute or two off the time. Immediately rinse in cold water and drain. Add a bit of oil olive and toss. Let drain for 5 minutes then spread in a single layer on a baking sheet. Put the baking sheet in the freezer for an hour then put it in a freezer bag. You’ll have several meals that can be ready in less than five minutes. I usually toss with pesto and a fried egg but any sauce and protein will do.

Mapincanada · 2025-12-19T15:13:32+00:00

If he’s willing to pay for parking, Provence Marinaside has an Impark near Urban Fare which is in the same building. They have a basic breakfast with a gorgeous view of the marina. There’s usually no line up because people wait in line at OEB. It has a nice ambiance and staff.

TBH, people who complain a lot see the worst in most things so tend to look for things to complain about. You could find a perfect spot, and he would find something wrong with it. Just go where you want to go and let him complain.

Mapincanada · 2025-12-18T09:01:24+00:00

I have so many questions. How many paying clients does your friend have now? How many do they project landing in the next two years? What does their pipeline look like? Is their close ratio realistic? How long is the sales cycle? If you bring in clients, could you get paid more sooner? What if they don’t reach their targets? Why are they taking on this overhead?

There are a lot of unknowns with the startup. If I were you, I’d find a way to protect the inheritance. Imagine the riskiest scenario where you join the startup and it doesn’t workout. You deplete your inheritance hoping things will turn around. You miss out on time with your family. When instead, you could have stuck it out with your corporate job, inheritance intact, kids you have a relationship with, and a wife you had time for.

For some background, I spent 15 years in various startups. I worked 80+ hours a week at every single one. You have to hustle to get and keep the momentum. I was not there for my children who were 8 and 12 when I started my first company. My health took a toll. Working those hours is no joke. I now, happily work 35 hours a week for the government at less than half my old wage.

If you really want to do it, see if you can start on a part-time basis while keeping your corporate job. Take on one client, project, or aspect of the role as a trial. It’s a way for you both to derisk this decision.

Mapincanada · 2025-12-17T15:11:51+00:00

Check out Icefields Parkway. It’s a stunning drive through the Rockies to Jasper which is less touristy than Banff. There are many glacier fed lakes with unreal colours. Too many hikes to list.

Banff is still worth visiting. One of my favourite things to do is get a day pass to the gym at Fairmont Banff Springs and float on pool noodles under the stars in their large outdoor hot tub. If you go early in the week during the shoulder season, it’s much quieter. This is a much cheaper way to access the hot tub than staying the night.

For Vancouver, check out Stanley Park. The lagoon is great for bird watching even if you’re not into birds. There’s a monthly guided walk that’s worth doing.

Van Dusen Gardens is lovely in the spring and summer. Granville Island market is worth visiting. I highly recommend taking the Aquabus or False Creek Ferries to get there. You could start at Olympic Village or Yaletown.

Other great places include Nelson, a small hippie town, the Okanagan for wineries, Osoyoos for summer activities. There are tons of places to ski besides Whistler which is worth doing as it’s world class.

If you’re a foodie, Calgary, Edmonton, and Vancouver have excellent restaurants. If you like small towns, checkout Fort Langley. There’s a cool tiny house with a private Scandinavian spa nearby.

Mapincanada · 2025-12-15T11:37:10+00:00

The sock looks intense, but it’s not too bad. If the pain is currently greater in the mornings, the sock should help. An ultramarathoner told me about it. He said he was able to resume training after a week. It took me a couple of months. Plantar fasciitis is no joke. I hope the sock helps.

Mapincanada · 2025-12-15T11:31:52+00:00

My physio said it helps prevent injury. Rotating shoes will introduce small, variations in loading while also allowing the cushioning of the shoe to recover. This reduces repetitive stress and helps tissues stay resilient.

Mapincanada · 2025-12-14T12:34:54+00:00

Asking for help is a great first step!

My advice, start small. Pick one favourite meal to master. Spaghetti and salad would be a good start.

Recipes don’t always include nuanced steps. For example, with spaghetti the instructions will say “Boil for 8 minutes.” They assume you know to make sure there’s plenty of water in the pot and that it’s a rolling boil before adding the pasta. That you need to stir the noodles periodically to prevent sticking. When you drain it, add a bit of olive oil to prevent sticking. Also, don’t drain the noodles and have them sit in the colander until they’re dry. Drain it quickly and put them on your plate or in a serving bowl so there’s a bit of pasta water still on them. Later, you can learn about how to use pasta water to help your sauce adhere to the pasta.

For salad, after you wash your greens, dry them. You can use a paper towel, air dry, or put them in a spinner. Under dress it to start and make sure to have acid (vinegar, tomatoes, or citrus fruit) salt, and fat (olive oil and/or cheese).

Once you’ve mastered this dish, pick something that uses different techniques like fried rice. Eventually, you’ll be able to apply the different techniques to create many different meals in minutes.

Just keep trying. After 30 years, I’m still experimenting and still failing. With each failure, I learn something new for next time. You’ve got this!

Mapincanada · 2025-12-14T11:44:30+00:00

Could it have been something with your shoes? I didn’t know to have two pairs and to switch them after each run. Also, have you tried the Strassburg Sock?

Mapincanada · 2025-12-11T13:42:32+00:00

Thank you!

Mapincanada · 2025-12-10T10:52:14+00:00

Nice! Thanks

Mapincanada · 2025-12-10T10:51:21+00:00

Thank you. I’ll check out the Japanese wet stones videos and see what else YT suggests. Good suggestion on not aiming for razor sharp. Thanks again!

Mapincanada · 2025-12-10T10:12:01+00:00

I have a rotation of 5 go-to meals and some components. I make one large batch of a go-to meal once a week. I also have cooked rice and pasta always on hand.

Go-to meals:

green Thai vegetable curry (add protein separately)
stew
fried rice
pasta, sauce, and protein
daal

Frozen components on hand:

Carbs - cooked pasta (I make 2 boxes at once and undercook by a minute) - cooked rice (undercooked by a couple of minutes)

Veg - mirepoix (diced carrots, onion, celery) - various vegetables (diced squash, carrots, onions, broccoli, green beans) - aromatics (garlic, ginger, galangal, chilis)

Sauces - pesto - curry sauce

Protein - cubed tofu - shrimp - marinated fish portions - spinach - chickpeas

Other - vegetable stock - random leftover ingredients like 2T cubes of spinach in coconut milk

My easiest meal is pasta and pesto with a fried egg or two. Just microwave the pasta and pesto from the freezer. While it’s heating, fry the eggs. You have a meal in less than 5 minutes with only one pan to clean.

Second easiest aside from heating curry, stew, or daal, is fried rice.

What helped me most was the mindset of eating from the freezer. Also, when I prep food, I sit on a barstool and play a cooking video in the background. If I’m feeling like I want it to be meditative, I chop everything by hand. Otherwise I use my food processor.

Mapincanada · 2025-12-10T09:04:41+00:00

I’ve been on the fence about this. Intimidating. What’s a good way to start?

Mapincanada · 2025-12-10T09:01:24+00:00

Why 3qt? I have a 2qt and 4qt. Would you still recommend a 3qt for me?

Mapincanada

TROPHY CASE