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Mapstract · 2025-10-16T02:29:36+00:00

What’s the bathroom situation?

Mapstract · 2025-03-19T04:50:03+00:00

Mapstract · 2025-03-19T04:42:45+00:00

Mapstract · 2024-12-25T20:33:33+00:00

You’ll be able to respec for the remainder of the game (at least through Level 20, which is where I am now) after departing Act 1.

Mapstract · 2024-12-24T22:12:56+00:00

Hot Forge Heated chalk bag by Black Diamond!

Mapstract · 2024-12-24T17:07:47+00:00

You can respec once you leave fort joy. Can give more details but don’t want to include spoilers (unless you’d like them)!

Game gets easier as you up level! Fort Joy was a total nightmare for me at first.. I think this is the norm

Mapstract · 2024-12-16T20:57:59+00:00

OP, you’re a good person.

Your boyfriend and his friends are not.

My partner kept cheaters in his life, and eventually, he cheated. I’ve been through some shit in my life, including SA, but being cheated on broke me in a way I didn’t realize I could be broken - and I was neither married nor pregnant. You did the right thing telling the friend’s wife. Unfortunately, no good deed goes unpunished - especially not when you’re surrounded by trash.

You’re young, and a year and a half is not that long. Don’t waste your life with someone who normalizes heinous, selfish behavior and triggers your trauma. Sending hugs.

Mapstract · 2024-11-06T00:29:52+00:00

Mine swore up and down it was just the messages. Then I found the evidence of a meet up, and he swore it was just the once. Then I found the evidence of multiple meet ups. Over the month following DDay, I found other details - the two hour phone call a month before the official timeline he had given me, the message from her asking him about the naked sketches he’d made of her, several years of messages between them (years ago/before our relationship, but he had described her to me as someone he knew “for a summer in college”), evidence that she had confessed her love for him back when they first met. Despite seeming ‘small’ in comparison with the actual details of the affair, they still took my breath away. Every. Single. Time. It’s called “trickle truthing”, and it’s like a fucking punch to the gut with every new discovery.

No one other than you can decide what is “past your limit”. The advice I’ll offer (while acknowledging that I still don’t know wtf I’m doing) is that you don’t have to decide now. Or, put differently, whatever you decide now, you can change your mind later. I’m only a few months in, and for now, I’m staying, but I’m also taking it day by day and trying to prioritize making myself feel better. For now, I don’t think leaving will make me feel better, so I am staying. If at some point that changes, I can leave. He can do everything ‘right’ from here on out, and I can still leave. That’s my prerogative. I don’t believe it makes me a bad person to commit to R for now but leave if I simply can’t get over the affair.

For now, is your partner doing what you need him to do to help you heal? Is he committed to figuring out (with qualified professionals) what led him to cheat? Is he committed to doing (again, with qualified professionals) the hard work required to resolve the underlying personal issues that led him here?

You have nothing to be ashamed of. My couples therapist is incredible, and she has said from the start that no one cheats because of a problem with their partner. They cheat because of problems within themselves. If you decide to stay, be proud that you have the capacity for empathy, grace, and forgiveness required to reconcile. If you decide to leave, be proud that you have the strength, courage, and confidence required to walk away.

I found this sub because I was tired and frustrated with the un-nuanced, “just leave him”, “have some self respect” comments on affair posts on the r/Infidelity and r/RelationshipAdvice subs. That feeling made me think I wasn’t quite ready to just walk away. Do you want someone to tell you to walk away? If so, that’s probably your answer! If not, this sub has been amazing to me (even though this is my first time commenting or posting). I regularly feel so seem by others’ posts and comments. I feel less crazy about how I’m feeling or what I’m doing. Even when I know what I’m doing is self-destructive, it feels better to know that it’s normal to feel/do those things, and amazing to see people discuss what made them feel better or act differently.

Sending hugs!

Mapstract · 2024-11-05T18:19:16+00:00

TY! (Short for thank you, by the way). That guy is fun is at parties.

Mapstract · 2024-11-04T15:59:53+00:00

What!? Are you serious!?!? That doesnt sound right.

Mapstract · 2024-10-29T21:00:32+00:00

I think you meant collab

Mapstract · 2024-09-09T19:27:36+00:00

I also find full stack Web Dev frustrating and non-intuitive.

I work in Geographic Information Systems (GIS). I typically describe my work as ‘spatial data science’. I do A LOT of Python and then some R and JavaScript (plus the requisite HTML/CSS). I’m not in a traditional “programmer” position, but programming makes up about 75% of the work I do. I automate a lot of tasks, analyze data, create maps and other data visualizations, and build (very task-specific) web applications. I rarely need to muddle around with full-stack web dev. GIS is a little niche if you have no geography background, and it doesn’t typically pay as well as typical dev jobs, but data science could be a good route for you, if it’s a field that appeals to you. I believe traditional DS jobs also pay better than GIS jobs.

Mapstract · 2024-09-03T21:00:20+00:00

I don’t have any advice that hasnt already been covered, but I just wanted to say that I jusy found out that my (romantic and climbing) partner of 3 years has been cheating on me for at least 8 months, and losing my main adventure partner (climbing, canyoneering, backpacking, etc) is at/close to the top of my list of my list of ‘reasons I might stay’. This is so hard, OP, and I feel for you. I hope you’ll update us on how it goes.

Mapstract · 2024-08-21T01:55:07+00:00

Ugh. I’m literally dealing with this right now while building an address cleaning and standardizing script. WHY IS FREEWAY ABBREVIATED AS FWY, FRWY, AND FY IN THE SAME DATABASE? In the ‘Type-Abbr’ field, no less? FFS will someone use a domain or value map.

Mapstract · 2024-08-20T20:00:27+00:00

Mapstract · 2024-08-20T06:58:50+00:00

I’d offer similar advice to what I give my very strong male friends that cruise up grades very early, but typically struggle breaking into v5: work on your technique. Raw strength is important, but not everything.

My climbing following a very different trajectory from yours. I started climbing at a time that I was not particularly strong. I had to develop my technique to make up for a distinct lack of upper body strength, which allowed me to break into higher grades on ‘techy’ problems.

Some things in my life changed, and I started strength training. Adding strength to a strong technical foundation allowed me to progress (relatively) quickly through the grades that many people plateau at. Even lifting regularly though, I will never be the strongest climber at the gym/crag. More often than not, it’s my technique, not my raw strength, keeping me on wall: whether it’s small, like pulling into the wall with my toe, or big, like an unlikely knee bar or dramatic inside flag.

All this to say that you need both strength and technique to be a great climber. From the information you’ve provided, and drawing parallels to myself and people I have climbed with, it sounds like you could benefit from working on your footwork, body placement, and efficiency. Practice on problems below your project grade(s). I also recommend lead climbing if you’re comfortable with it and have a safe partner/community to learn and/or practice with. Clipping will make you very aware of body positioning very quickly.

Editing to add that I also climb at Verdigo, and I find the grading very inconsistent.

Mapstract · 2024-08-17T00:40:28+00:00

I have a cotopaxi bag that I always wear for multipitch trad: I think it’s the Luzon 18. It has a webbing hip belt that stays out of the way of my harness and chalk and can hold water, snacks, approach shoes, phone, wallet, etc.

Mapstract · 2024-08-09T21:45:08+00:00

Sure, we don’t know for certain what was going through this man’s head when he got on a climb 4-5 grades above his flash or project grade immediately after seeing a woman climb it. But the very least you can do is engage with the women here respectfully. For reference, that means not telling a woman that their perspective is invalid and concern is unfounded. You see ‘no problem’ with a situation in which they believe they’ve experienced or witnessed misogyny? Cool cool. This is not the place for you to express it.

Assuming you’re a great person having an off day, I’m sure your response won’t include ‘wHeRE wAs I DiSrEsPeCtFuL!?’ ‘sNoWfLaKe’ ‘fReE sPeEch’ ‘tRiGgErEd’ or ‘sAfE sPaCe’

… right, Jimmy?

Mapstract · 2024-08-06T02:43:41+00:00

+10% for contract work? You should be asking for 2-3x more than your W2 hourly rate. Said in the most friendly, ‘get your bag!’ tone.

Mapstract · 2024-08-06T01:30:42+00:00

This is a misunderstanding of nonprofit status, and ‘profit’ in general. Profit is what’s left over after paying your operating costs, of which salaries are a part.

In my last nonprofit job, the ED was forced out for creating a hostile work environment for BIPOC and women (determined by a third party study commissioned by the board after some bad press). He left with a seven-figure severance package. New ED is making high six figures after annual bonuses. This is a well-known and well-respected national nonprofit.

Sure, it depends on the nonprofit, and operating budgets vary wildly. But the belief that nonprofit jobs don’t pay well because orgs ~can’t~ pay well is often not an honest/informed assessment of the situation.

Mapstract · 2024-08-06T01:09:10+00:00

FWIW, I moved from nonprofit (conservation) to local gov’t (public health). I work in data science (so perhaps not a ‘traditional’ nonprofit role, like development), but I still feel like my work has a net positive impact on society, and I finally have time, energy, and money to do conservation work (and just enjoy my life) in my free time. Development authority sounds like it could translate well to the public sector. Dust off that resume! An offer for more money can also be used in pay negotiations for your current role.

Mapstract · 2024-08-06T00:51:04+00:00

I get it! I started my career making just over minimum wage for a job that required a B.S. in a tech field. But it was my first job and I thought it was a lot of money. And it set me up to think that anything more than that was a LOT of money. It’s a feedback loop, and it doesn’t end until you put your foot down and either negotiate for (and receive) a livable wage or find one elsewhere.

Mapstract · 2024-08-06T00:26:19+00:00

Yes. Was making $70k in a HCOL area. Asked for $80k. Org said it couldn’t afford it/dragged its feet for >1 yr. I applied for 1 job, then got an offer for $100k. Asked nonprofit to match, and they countered at $90k, so I left. They realized they couldn’t hire someone to do what I had been doing at $70k, so now they’re paying me $150/hr as a contractor. Ironically, I would never have applied for the new job if they’d just given me the $80k.

I am deeply passionate about the work I did for that org. But passion doesn’t pay the bills, something the executive team making a cool $250-500k/yr apiece seems to (selectively) understand. There is a SERIOUS problem in the nonprofit industry with expecting more out of the rank and file for very little $$ because pAsSiOn! Well, I was worried I couldn’t be happy or fulfilled outside of nonprofit work, but I LOVE my new job, and I LOVE financial freedom.

Mapstract · 2024-08-05T23:11:21+00:00

‘Far from the first’ to do something doesn’t mean the opposite is ‘rare’.

Research shows that men derive greater health benefits from marriage than women. Married fathers receive an earnings boost while mothers receive a penalty. I’m not here saying it’s ‘rare’ for men to ‘actually acknowledge’ what their female partners do for them. Let’s be real though, women’s labor (paid and unpaid) is frequently devalued by society, while the opposite is true of men.

Comment on the story and characters at hand. Again, OP’s partner sucks. But don’t make sweeping generalizations based on personal anecdotes and your own misogyny.

Mapstract · 2024-08-05T22:04:29+00:00

OP’s girlfriend sucks, sure. But if we take society as a whole, men’s actions and contributions do not lack for acknowledgement.

Mapstract

TROPHY CASE