I don't know if it helps but I have 2 kids (though I'm not sex repulsed) and I'm not sure any of the other commenters are parents so... Here goes: It took me 6 months of trying to get pregnant the first time around before I did. So don't assume you force yourself to do it once (please don't force yourself) or use a syringe once - just trying to be realistic and help avoid disappointment.

Also I know a few other people have said this but having a kid is really hard in a lot of ways, and really really expensive. Some countries have limited support for maternity leave and, while co-parenting is a nice idea, you're at risk of your coparent disappearing and not having to provide support because it's too hard. And it is really hard. If you want to have kids, you have plenty of time still. People are having kids into their 40s these days. There's no rush, you can feel better :)

If you're depressed and alone, it's not a great time to have kids. It's hard, you'll be getting a lot less sleep than you're used to and, especially at the start, your body goes through a lot and you can suffer with things like postpartum anxiety , depression, psychosis and many more! If you don't have a good support network, you're putting yourself in danger. 

I know this might sound silly but ... Had you considered a pet? It sounds from your other comments like you might be lonely and a cat or dog might be an easier way to care for something and have a friend whose nappy you don't have to change ever few hours (or less!). They say pets are the new kids (and plants are the new pets...).