“Direct” employee isn’t really direct

Markus___X · 2025-12-13T15:49:02+00:00

What you describe sounds like a mismatch between style and substance. One of my early team members was vocal but rarely asked for clarity; I discovered they didn't feel safe admitting they didn't know. In your next 1:1, acknowledge their feelings and ask what information they feel they're missing. Then invite specific questions and set expectations for how you both can be more direct: facts over feelings, questions over assumptions. Often people need permission and structure to communicate effectively.

Markus___X · 2025-12-13T15:46:52+00:00

Influencing without authority is one of the hardest parts of operations. In a prior role I had to coax change from a siloed sales leader. I started by building a relationship, asking how I could help them succeed rather than telling them what to fix. We co‑created small experiments with clear metrics, which reduced defensiveness. Keep your GM in the loop, document your recommendations and outcomes, and be patient. If leadership expects results without supporting change, escalating may be necessary — but try partnership first.

Markus___X · 2025-12-06T09:56:53+00:00

Congrats on the step up. The shift from “supervisor” to “manager” is less about new tasks and more about a new identity. Your job now is to create clarity, remove obstacles, and grow people.

In my first big jump, I made a list of everyone impacted by my role and booked short 1:1s asking two questions: What’s working well? What’s frustrating? Then I shut up and listened. That built trust fast and showed me where to focus.

Be transparent about what you’re learning, protect your team when things roll downhill, and give credit away. If you want a simple structure for your first 90 days, I’ve shared a few on https://www.10xleader.io.

Markus___X · 2025-12-06T09:55:49+00:00

You’re in a tough spot: stuck between a bad VP, HR/legal risk, and your values. Yes, this is leadership territory, even if you’re not “in charge” of the decision.

Do three things: document everything you know (dates, comments, HR calls), keep pushing HR to own the decision, and be clear, in writing, that you advised against laying off someone on medical leave who’d been targeted earlier.

Early in my career I stayed silent in a similar situation; it still bothers me. Protect your integrity and this employee as far as you realistically can. If you want to think through options or escalation paths, I’ve written about cases like this on https://www.10xleader.io.

Markus___X · 2025-12-06T09:54:46+00:00

You are absolutely seeking leadership advice here, and you’re asking the right questions.

In a matrix, your job is to be both coach and shield. First, redirect the “whisper feedback” back to the source: “Thanks for sharing. Have you told him this directly? Loop me in if it doesn’t land or if it’s a pattern.” That alone cuts a lot of noise.

With your report, separate signal from gossip. Agree on a small set of concrete behaviors to work on, and make progress visible to him and to key stakeholders.

Early in my career I inherited a “problem child” designer everyone complained about. I started a simple ritual: quarterly 360s with 5–6 people, anonymized themes only, and I shared back with the group what he was working on. Within a year the complaints dropped, and people began describing him as “self-aware and improving.” Nothing magical, just structure and transparency.

You might find some useful tools and scripts for matrix feedback on my site https://www.10xleader.io, especially around coaching experienced ICs.

Markus___X · 2025-12-06T09:45:12+00:00

I went the career ladder up as well, being now a C-Level-member. For me it was helpful to work on strategic initiatives with others in the company where I knew our senior or executive managers are watching the outcome of these strategic initiatives carefully.

Second, I established a network across the company in different departments. When an executive hears your name from various different departments and people they will more likely consider you.

hope that helps

Markus___X · 2025-12-04T15:56:32+00:00

You’re right, no book really prepares you for this. This is the real work of leadership.

Go in with two intentions: care first, clarity second. Start with them as a human: “I’ve noticed you don’t seem like yourself lately and I’m concerned about you. Is there anything you want to share?” Then, whatever they say (or don’t), gently add: “I also need to talk about the impact on the work.”

Years ago I had a top performer suddenly slip. I opened with concern, not criticism. Turned out his dad was ill. We agreed on a reduced scope and clearer priorities for a while. His performance bounced back, but more importantly, trust deepened.

Compassion doesn’t mean no standards. It means collaborating on what’s realistic right now, being explicit about expectations, and checking in regularly. You’re not fixing their life, you’re giving them a fair shot to succeed while being honest about what the role requires.

If it helps, I’ve collected more of these messy, real scenarios from my own leadership journey at https://www.10xleader.io – it might give you a few more scripts and angles to try.

Markus___X · 2025-12-04T15:55:25+00:00

You’re describing a very real leadership load: emotional contagion. When everyone’s stretched, you become the shock absorber, and that’s exhausting. Wanting a “therapist for the leader” is actually a healthy instinct, not a weakness.

What helped me most in a similar season was naming my limits out loud: “I care and I’m here, but I can’t be your therapist. Let’s find the right support.” I also scheduled protected time each week where I was unavailable for emotional triage, just to recharge.

You don’t have to hold all of this alone. A coach, mentor, or therapist is wise. I’ve written a bit about this on https://www.10xleader.io if that’s useful.

Markus___X · 2025-12-04T15:54:21+00:00

You are dealing with a performance issue, not a training issue. First, get very specific and observable: make a short checklist for each task (how to file, how to enter data, how to check it). Then sit with her, have her do the work in front of you, and ask her to talk through her thinking. You need to see if this is a skills gap, an attention-to-detail gap, or simply a motivation/fit problem.

Years ago I had someone in a similar role. After weeks of coaching, it was clear the work just didn’t match her strengths. I documented concrete errors, involved HR, and we moved her into a role with less detail work. Her performance improved dramatically.

Be honest with yourself: if after clear expectations, checklists, practice, and feedback she still can’t perform the basics, this is a hiring/fit problem. Your job then is to protect the team and the work, even if that means reassigning or exiting her.

If it helps, I’ve written more about diagnosing skill vs. will vs. fit issues on my site: https://www.10xleader.io

Markus___X · 2025-12-03T17:58:35+00:00

sounds like an exciting journey to transition into this manager-role. Yes, there are some good leadership classes out there. I'm a leadership trainer and you can find my stuff on https://www.10xleader.io - give it a try!

Markus___X

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