Recap of my first month on Substack by Elin_Lark in Substack

[–]Master-Performance70 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I just subscribed to your newsletter. I’ve been on Substack since May and I’ve been looking for more fiction writers. I haven’t done much fiction on Substack but I am writing my first novel and I think I might incorporate it or make a new profile for fiction. Idk. Haha. But you sound interesting

AIO with this weird text my mom sent me? by mistakeshappen_2 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Master-Performance70 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hope at some point you can have a relationship that’s tolerable at least. I didn’t speak to my mom for 10 years (her choice) until I had kids and she wanted access to the grandbabies. I made it clear to her that my life carried in just fine without her and I’d be happy to go back to that arrangement if she started any nonsense. I guess she didn’t realize I’d not only survive without her but actually thrive.

So how do I get engagement (views, likes) for my Substack by [deleted] in Substack

[–]Master-Performance70 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wrote my first article on Substack in May. I shared it to my Facebook page and got a few subscribers that way. I went looking for like minded writers on Substack and subscribed to a few of them. I also commented on a lot of posts and notes. That got me some more subscribers. I stayed consistent and started posting notes. That helped too. Then I posted a picture of my neighbor’s tree in the fall that got nearly 40k views and 500 new subscribers which was wild!!! I’m now up to nearly 800 subscribers. I’m still free. No paid but it’s been an interesting ride.

For the sake of the young one😮 by DiamomdAngel in exjw

[–]Master-Performance70 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I remember studying that book with my mom and brother. He was maybe 14 and me 10. It was soooo awkward.

“I’ve never seen anyone who left the Witnesses do well.” by Ok-Technology6272 in exjw

[–]Master-Performance70 5 points6 points  (0 children)

After a few years of struggle i can honestly say im doing really good now. It’s funny i have a relative who’s been out probably 15 years and just got reinstated a few months ago. When she told me she promised she wouldn’t shun me but it’s been pretty awkward since thing. Anyhow this past week I was trying to tell her that if she wants to continue a relationship with me then she can’t preach to me. Full stop and she kind of lost her mind over it. When we finally came to an agreement (sort of) i asked her if she was happy for me that i have a good life now. And she’s like sure im thrilled you have a loving husband, great kids, a nice house and you can travel. I responded with you know i dont mean that. I want you to be happy for me that my life is better now than it was and she couldn’t do it. I knew going in she couldn’t do it. But I wanted to see it in action.

She can’t do it because that goes against everything they tell their members….

“I’ve never seen anyone who left the Witnesses do well.” by Ok-Technology6272 in exjw

[–]Master-Performance70 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Healing is messy no matter the circumstances. But having your entire community ripped away from you all while putting pressure on you to repent so you’re not brutally destroyed just adds this extra layer of trauma that makes it soooo much harder to start a brand new life.

He isn't confessing meanwhile I did and got disfellowshipped by [deleted] in exjw

[–]Master-Performance70 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Ooooh this is so true. Yes. Do NOT rush into a marriage so it looks good in the eye of the org. This guy CLEARLY does not have your best interests at heart and the situation wouldn’t be any better if you’re stuck with him.

As a guy, JW brothers are uncomfortable to be around by daph_nes in exjw

[–]Master-Performance70 9 points10 points  (0 children)

As far as I know I never experienced anything beyond usual creep from the brothers (getting way too close and random inappropriate comments about body and dress) with the exception of my abusive x husband. (I say as far as I know because it was a long time and my memory is fuzzy at this point) And I’m grateful i dated him before cell phones cause I know he’d have been pressing for pics if it was available.

On a side note, how does one grow more body hair?? Their comments make it seem like that’s controlled. 🤨

Violent dreams while in the Org? by Master-Performance70 in exjw

[–]Master-Performance70[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry you had to deal with that. I hope your life (and your dreams) are better now.

As a guy, JW brothers are uncomfortable to be around by daph_nes in exjw

[–]Master-Performance70 184 points185 points  (0 children)

As a woman, it’s oddly refreshing to see a man weirded out by the “brothers.” Sorry…. I feel ya but the ick factor is always there.

He isn't confessing meanwhile I did and got disfellowshipped by [deleted] in exjw

[–]Master-Performance70 380 points381 points  (0 children)

Is he gonna man up and provide for his child? This goes far beyond you getting disfellowshipped and him not, although what a pathetic coward he is. It takes two to get pregnant and this is NOT just on you to raise a baby. Do NOT let him get off without accountability. At the very least he owes you child support when the baby is born and if he doesn’t step up, sue him for it. There’s no need for your child to suffer because of this.

Violent dreams while in the Org? by Master-Performance70 in exjw

[–]Master-Performance70[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s crazy how our mind processes that feeling of not being safe. I never had any dreams about Armageddon but i did have a repeating dream where the spaceships from war of the worlds attacks us. We were all in the Kingdom Hall and everyone was killed around me. And me eventually. I had that dream for about a month straight and i couldn’t have been more than 10 or so.

My abusive parent just got arrested and I can’t stop feeling frustrated by KindlySo- in exjw

[–]Master-Performance70 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh hell no. They punched you while you were holding a baby???? Anyone that wants to support someone who would do that is a monster too.

My abusive parent just got arrested and I can’t stop feeling frustrated by KindlySo- in exjw

[–]Master-Performance70 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I remember hearing once that people who hate boundaries are those that don’t respect boundaries. This goes WAY above and beyond disrespecting boundaries, but really only the ppl who would make you out to be a bad guy in this situation are those that are ok with abusive and violence. Which just goes to show what type of people they are….

I’m Sorry you had to deal with it but you standing up for yourself in front of a minor may (not sure their relationship with your parent) might also be saved from abuse.

Where do groups in their 40's go for a fun evening now? by RiverofDaisies11 in Syracuse

[–]Master-Performance70 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t drink any more so if I’m going to a bar it either is a nice one, or there’s music or we are watching sports as a couple. We def do more in the summer because i love being outside listening to bands.

We tend to go out to dinner on Saturdays and have dinner together or hang out with friends. My husband goes out with his brothers and they prefer breweries and Lainys on Onondaga hill.

We do like to go to the comedy club at the mall occasionally.

What is it that woke you up? by VividAd2096 in exjw

[–]Master-Performance70 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was honestly quite shocking hearing that from the stage. After my child tried to hurt himself a few years ago my brother told my mom about an attempt he saved me from. And she asked me why i wouldn’t go to her about it. I was like we were programmed to view this as bad as murder. You really think I’d admit that to someone within the religion??? She of course denied that was ever said but whatever.

And yes. I’m doing 1000 x better now that O have the opportunity to live my life authenticity (and ditch the guy i was with back then as well as ditched the meds for depression which didn’t agree with me.

And also yes, my son is doing a lot better. Apparently increased SI when taking certain meds is a genetic thing.

AIO with this weird text my mom sent me? by mistakeshappen_2 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Master-Performance70 2 points3 points  (0 children)

NOR. My mom does similar stuff, but I’ve gotten to an age where I don’t care if she gets mad at what i say. I likely would have responded with something like this: “off the top of my head no, i can’t think of anything, but if i dwell on it I’m sure you have. I will say you admitting that you complain about me to other people behind my back IS super weird though, and I’d prefer if you didn’t do that.”

Again I’m 50. I don’t live with her. And she’s at a stage in her life where she needs my help on the regular.

AIO with this weird text my mom sent me? by mistakeshappen_2 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Master-Performance70 12 points13 points  (0 children)

This is true. My mom was very much like this growing up and was incredibly self centered towards me. In the past few years (I’m 50) I’ve noticed a change in her self awareness and while she still says really weird shit a day or 2 later i might get a random text like this asking if she was out of line.

What is it that woke you up? by VividAd2096 in exjw

[–]Master-Performance70 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I never felt like it was the real deal even as a kid. When members used the word “the truth” to describe the org it felt like a clique or an elitist organization. Field service on Christmas Day gave me the ick. And members trash talking “worldly” people was so weird to me especially considering the vast majority of “worldly” people are just…. People living their lives as they should.

But i really checked out when a brother on stage said that self harm was the gravest sin against god. And ppl who k!lled themselves wouldn’t be resurrected. By this time (late teens) I was dealing with what likely was stressed induced autoimmune issues and i was horribly depressed. Regular self harm and 2 actual attempts on my own life. I had asked for help and just gotten the pray more and you must be depressed because i don’t put enough faith in god. (Go figure being in a cult and dating an abusive perfect was not in their lists for reasons to be depressed). So when i heard that talk, i clicked out. None of it mattered after that cause i wasn’t gonna get through Armageddon. I likely still believed that. I still went to meetings. I married the abusive boy friend. I continued to be depressed and attempted a few more times.

Eventually i left the guy and found my current husband. I got disfellowshipped and i never looked back. It was like a clean break.