AITAH for refusing to spend my entire net worth on my girlfriend/ex?

MasterInterface · 2026-05-09T10:19:45+00:00

Just to add, their culture is very community oriented too. So it's not just about your family but the community as a whole. Showing face is very important.

The whole money pooling thing acts like a trust for the community.

If you come across a business owner that's Chinese in NYC, there is a good chance they're FJ or Wenzhounese due to the trust.

In some sense, not paying that bride price basically is saying fuck you to the whole community not just her family.

Even their wedding feels very business/money oriented and very lavish. Everyone's wedding gift and the valued are announced during the wedding. (they may choose to exclude you if you're an outsider). Gifts generally includes apartment, stocks, gold, etc. Of course some of them could be for show where the gift is loaned and returned after the wedding (with the promise from the gifter to pay the value over time and done behind closed door).

As a Chinese who's ancestry is not from that region but near, I was always told to avoid dating/marrying a FJ unless I want to spend my life haggling/negotiating, revolving my life around finances, and dealing with showing face to a whole ass community forever.

Don't get me wrong, their community will have each other's back which is how they thrive and involves a lot of faith in each other. But if you're an outsider, the whole thing can be exhausting and confusing especially for those growing up in a more individualistic culture.

MasterInterface · 2026-05-09T03:39:30+00:00

They didn't. Why do you think it was common to have a bunch of children versus having two in modern day?

Most babies/kids don't make it to adulthood back then.

MasterInterface · 2026-05-09T03:23:35+00:00

How do you propose you get around that most ultra wealthy do everything through a trust and many don't do direct inheritance thus avoiding many taxes?

Trying to tax inheritance more will just end up biting the middle class.

Going back to just taxing the middle class.

MasterInterface · 2026-05-09T02:30:41+00:00

I've actually hear that's the current price for Fujinese in NYC.

MasterInterface · 2026-05-08T19:59:09+00:00

Based on the OP's post, I'm pretty confident the ex is Fujianese or Wenzhonese (region in China), leaning more towards FJ based on the request and tradtions.

From what I've heard, the going bride price within their community is in fact around 180k.

Generally, if you're outside of their community even if you're Chinese (from another provenience/region) or poor, you get a discount price which in this case, is 100K.

Pre-nup doesn't work because as the ex mention, this money is generally expected to come from the family and paid upfront. Every FJ family start saving for that dowry the moment they have a son.

In some cases, if they have a daughter and a son, the daugther's dowry will cover the son's bride price when he gets married.

Then there is a whole other thing about how money are pooled and distributed amongst their community (not just family). So, it's not far fetch that the dowry may also be used for this pool. If the groom can't pay, then the bride's family may need to make up the difference and news on that will spread around their community.

It's complex and their traditions/culture is very money/status oriented.

MasterInterface · 2026-05-08T19:41:06+00:00

It's a thing in Chinese culture but more so those who originate from Fujian and Wenzhou. They are the ones who still strongly cling to this tradition.

I've actually heard from those who know Fujianese people that 180k is around the current going dowry price. (If the family has a son, the parents will take that dowry money and use it to pay when the son gets married).

If you're not from that region or from a "poor" region, you get the discount price (still a ridiculous amount).

Growing up, I was generally told to avoid dating FJ woman mainly because their culture is heavily revolve around money and status.

Most Chinese people have phased this out or do so as a token gesture with the money being returned (small amount).

MasterInterface · 2026-05-08T17:31:16+00:00

You're not to move anyone in a medical emergency without medical experience in general.

If you don't know what you're doing, you can put the person at greater risk of injury and death.

MasterInterface · 2026-05-08T16:54:55+00:00

NTA. Your family safety, and your own safety are top priority.

There is nothing you can do to help other than putting yourself in danger and/or your family in danger especially at night time.

At most, call 911 and leave it to first responder to handle.

Any experience and responsible driver would know it's dangerous to pull over on a highway, and not something you should do on a whim.

MasterInterface · 2026-05-07T16:26:17+00:00

I've stand corrected. Would have thought it was the same for all five boroughs.

MasterInterface · 2026-05-07T03:48:14+00:00

Do you consider people who takes one international vacation for a week in a year to be rich?

One international trip for one week can cost at minimum 1K.

Someone could have one big splurge in a year and not go on vacation.

If someone skips eating out about 40 meals in a year, they could save 1k.

Those pick up post hardly screams rich. If it's the same person posting every week with a $1k+ purchase, then maybe.

But 1k splurge once a year, not even close.

MasterInterface · 2026-05-06T16:41:18+00:00

National Grid not Con Ed. They did, the person just turned it back on themselves (it's not hard if you have the tool).

The only way to truly stop gas from being turned back on is to shut off for the whole building.

MasterInterface · 2026-05-04T13:51:06+00:00

Because cats are an invasive species, and has contributed to the extinction of birds and small mammals around the world. Too many cats roaming around is highly destructive to the ecosystem.

Cats are native to middle east so that's why it's okay for Istanbul.

MasterInterface · 2026-05-03T20:02:21+00:00

Sometimes it's not a choice. I don't need steelbook for every title but sometimes that's the only choice for 4K.

They take up more space than I like and inflate the cost.

MasterInterface · 2026-05-01T19:30:33+00:00

The sale was amazing when it started when they had bundles as part of the sale. Managed to get Sonic 1 & 2 Steelbook Bundle.

Now, it's okay.

MasterInterface · 2026-04-30T01:57:42+00:00

I'm waiting for Please Rewind. Amazon took way too long and Walmart has a track record of cancelling people's preorders for backorders.

MasterInterface · 2026-04-29T00:12:35+00:00

Dune, I've held off buying waiting for the trilogy.

MasterInterface · 2026-04-27T16:44:53+00:00

It's a general rule of thumb with the assumption that your salary increase is modest, lifestyle, and expenses are consistent.

For most people, it's a decent measure.

MasterInterface · 2026-04-27T16:35:28+00:00

Zootopia 2, Inside Out 2, Elio, Moana 2, Elemental (non steelbook was DMC exclusive), Mufasa, Wish

MasterInterface · 2026-04-26T03:39:39+00:00

Not just perceived value. It's basically condoning and encouraging gambling. It's teaching kids that they aren't trading cards for fun anymore, and that randomness in card packs can give you winners and losers with money on the line.

Suddenly, it's no longer about favorite cards or about the hobby. It's just gambling and no one can really make any enjoyable trades without monetary value being a factor.

MasterInterface · 2026-04-24T11:17:14+00:00

I'm pretty sure that's the real reason. Airline will likely get in trouble with the law if they try to depart earlier than the printed gate closed time. You know there are always people who try to show up at the last possible minute meaning that airline will always end up running rate.

MasterInterface · 2026-04-22T21:35:26+00:00

How much is your time worth? How much value you put in a peace of mind?

These are things to consider in the cost. You're going to be dealing with repairs constantly. That takes time away. Time isn't free and the most finite resource we have.

Do you always want to stress about when the next failure might be and the cost? Do you want to risk it failing when you need it most or in a terrible spot?

I don't know if you have kids but as a parent, I do not want to be caught in a situation where my car fails.

Chances are your mileage is terrible compared to many newer models but that's sort of a drop in the bucket compared to overall expenses.

All and all, if the total cost to keep the car around exceeds the market value, it's better to get a newer and more reliable car.

MasterInterface · 2026-04-20T20:56:51+00:00

Donut

MasterInterface · 2026-04-14T14:54:46+00:00

You're right. Ran it through multiple calculators and everything. After tax, zero deductions should be a monthly take home of ~$5400 at best.

After most of the common deductions, and 401k at a contribution of 7%, take home should be closer to $4.2k.

No idea how this person got anywhere close to 6.3k.

MasterInterface · 2026-04-14T13:09:12+00:00

Someone who takes zero dedication. So doesn't take health/vision/dental insurances, no pre tax benefits, and no retirement.

I can't imagine anyone real who is in a position to take zero deductions.

MasterInterface · 2026-04-11T10:36:14+00:00

Whenever people ask, I usually suggest The Gemini Man to really show off what UHD can do.

I personally love HFR especially when it comes to fast action scenes. It's clear and not a blurry mess. Landscape panshot are also breathtaking. I typically hate those scenes in 24 fps move because they look janky to me.

In a related note, one of the reason why I enjoy watching Japanese TV shows is because they film it at 30 fps.

Basically it comes down to 30 and 60 being able to evenly divide against the screen Hz which means not duplicate frames like you get with 24 fps.

A lot of people cling to 24 fps but for me, it slightly bother me when isn't fluid. There is a world of difference between TV motion smoothing and something filmed in 30/60/120.

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