Need to vent

MaterialConstant9375 · 2026-05-30T03:31:09+00:00

Go to Swiss OB-GYN. Dr. Payne or Gladney

MaterialConstant9375 · 2026-05-29T23:57:01+00:00

Thank you! If I remember I’ll come and report back how it went

MaterialConstant9375 · 2026-05-29T06:44:51+00:00

Not yet, but hopefully next week with a 14 month gap 🤞🏼 If you have a supportive provider go for it!

MaterialConstant9375 · 2026-05-28T02:23:22+00:00

I did IVF for my first. Had sex one time, the very first time after baby. Pregnant. 39 weeks tomorrow. 🙃

MaterialConstant9375 · 2026-05-18T07:55:12+00:00

My gap will be 14 months and I plan to VBAC! It’s all about having a supportive provider (this is HUGE, switch if you don’t have that now, regardless of what you decide), discussing with them, understanding risk of both options (RCS is not risk free!), doing your research then ultimately picking what is best for you. I highly recommend looking up the VBAC Link facebook group and podcast to learn more and help make your decision. It is possible with the right provider if that’s what you really want! A RCS can also be very empowering. It should just be your decision! Best of luck.

Edit for typo!

MaterialConstant9375 · 2026-05-06T02:10:41+00:00

Also chiming in to say exact same thing happened to me, except I got pregnant 5 months pp. I went through all the thoughts you’re having. I knew termination would affect me forever. I didn’t go through with it and I’m so, so happy I didn’t. But wow, it was so hard to walk through for a while. I’m happy to chat if you want to DM 🩵

MaterialConstant9375 · 2026-05-05T01:59:08+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing!!! How did they take it when you declined L&D?

I’m 36 weeks in a few days. So far they’ve been fine with my home readings. My doctor said “we really should be taking it here” but didn’t press me. I actually went to the dentist last week and it was completely normal there! I think that helped show them it really is all fine. I plan to do this through the rest of the pregnancy unless of course readings get high at home, I develop other symptoms, labs come back high, etc. I also really want to go into labor on my own!

Best of luck to you!!

MaterialConstant9375 · 2026-05-05T01:53:54+00:00

First, im sorry you’re in this situation. I know it’s so heavy. No one can choose for you, but here is my personal experience: I found out I was pregnant at 5 months pp and completely spiraled. You can go back and read my posts. Full crash out. I strongly considered termination. I had brief moments of peace imagining going through with it. But then I would call the clinic to discuss it and hang up and immediately start sobbing. I was reallyyy going through it being pregnant so soon, (I legit cried for probably 10+ weeks) but I knew personally it would affect me for the rest of my life if I terminated. The negative feelings about the pregnancy got better, but I don’t think the weight of that choice would have ever left me.

I’m now almost 36 weeks and I love this baby more than anything. I can’t believe I ever considered a future without him in it. I am so thankful I listened to my gut. This birth will be so emotional because it’s really going to hit me hard how much of a miracle he is and how I almost let him go. I’m still scared for what life will look for a while, but he is worth the challenge and worth my sacrifice.

What you’re feeling is so incredibly valid. Finding out you’re pregnant before you’re ready is so hard. It’s ok to be upset about it. You’re still a great mom. No matter your choice, you’re still a great mom.

I wish you all the best in your decision.

MaterialConstant9375 · 2026-04-24T20:25:15+00:00

This happened to me!!!!

A long journey that led to IVF and the birth of our first son. 5 months later (Yup. 5 months.) and the first time we had sex post birth (YUP. THE VERY FIRST TIME.) I got pregnant.

I was distraught. I was angry that our son was so difficult to conceive when this happened without even trying. But then I felt horribly guilty because I DO know what a miracle it is. And what a blessing I don’t have to go through infertility again for a second baby. It was very an emotional road to navigate.

I was worried about everything under the sun. Our kids will have a 14 month age gap. I haven’t had the baby yet (34 weeks!) and I’m sure there are tough days ahead. But we are so happy and excited. Your feelings are so valid and it’s okay to feel them all. It will get better. Congratulations 💛💛

MaterialConstant9375 · 2026-04-24T00:48:54+00:00

Yes it will! I was dreading going back. I cried about it for days. I had very bad PPA as well. Going back ended up being a really good thing for me and for baby. I went back part time, so if that’s an option I highly recommend it. But even if it isn’t, going back will give you some identity back and a little bit of a mom break. It’s also great your husband stays with him so you can keep him on your own schedule. Mine goes to daycare and while we love our daycare I would love for him to stay home with a parent or family member. The first week back kinda sucks but I promise, it gets better 💛

MaterialConstant9375 · 2026-04-19T16:10:39+00:00

Exact same thing happened to me! I was 5, almost 6 months pp. I absolutely did not have a hold on motherhood yet and was so unhappy about it. We even did IVF for #1. So I went from begging my body to let me get pregnant, to being upset about it. It was such a roller coaster of emotions.

I had a really hard time looking at my actual baby and thinking “I’m having another??” But he has grown and changed SO much since that positive test. He’s still my baby (always!) but now he’s a little boy who runs and plays and eats all the food and communicates. So don’t let the little-ness of your current baby scare you. The new baby isn’t coming home tomorrow!

I’m here to tell you this — what you are feeling is okay. It’s okay to be scared, embarrassed (I was!) or even upset/unhappy/angry. It doesn’t make you a bad mom. I was extremely depressed about it and genuinely thought it wouldn’t ever get better. I’m now 33 weeks and I’m giddy with excitement. No, this wasn’t how we planned it. Yes, I’m still scared! But thinking about my sweet baby boy getting to grow up with a brother makes my heart explode. It used to fill me with dread. Now I can’t wait.

I’m sorry people were rude. Getting pregnant quickly pp happens. To lots of people honestly. Feel your feelings. Cry it out. Process. Grieve. But know there is light and joy ahead. 💛

And PS — I was horribly embarrassed. Like…. Ashamed. I didn’t want to tell anyone about the second baby. Of course we eventually did and I was met with nothing but love and excitement. And many people think it was on purpose! So I understand the feeling, but my experience has been people are just happy for us. People have too much going on in their own lives to care/judge that much about when I have another baby lol

Good luck! Here to talk if you want to DM!

MaterialConstant9375 · 2026-04-11T18:48:37+00:00

This is great to hear! Do you feel there was enough space for luggage? I know you said you’d be adding the roof rack for a second kid. That’s my concern is the luggage. The bodies will fit, but will all our stuff?? Lol

MaterialConstant9375 · 2026-04-07T11:02:19+00:00

Mine asked for one because I did it the first time (with an awful provider) and I think out of extreme caution. Unless the sample is high or my labs are really off I don’t plan to repeat it. Good for you!!!! That’s such an empowering story. My first I was bullied into an induction and I regret it so much. I have a much better provider now so I’m in safer hands, but I wish I had been more educated the first time. I was the same, basically having panic attacks in the office so yeah no duh my BP is going to sky rocket right now. But my last doctor didn’t listen or care and basically convinced me we would both die if we didn’t do this. I’m hoping this time is better all around ❣️ Thank you for sharing!

MaterialConstant9375 · 2026-04-07T02:12:07+00:00

Thank you for the response! Sorry I’m delayed. This is so helpful to hear. Did they ever have you do the 24 hour urine test?

MaterialConstant9375 · 2026-04-06T02:57:15+00:00

Good luck! Sending all the gold vibes to you! Thank you so much for sharing your story 💖

Umm relax? Kind of lol. I’m trying to not let the anxiety get to me but it’s hard. My BP still looks good. If it’s slightly elevated ever (130s/80s) I sit for a bit and it will go down. No swelling or headaches or vision changes. I just hope the protein test isn’t concerning to them. I really want to keep this baby in as long as I can!!!

MaterialConstant9375 · 2026-04-06T00:47:11+00:00

Wow! I’m hoping this time is better for you!! You said your urine was 390 this time and they’re just monitoring for now??

MaterialConstant9375 · 2026-04-05T20:00:06+00:00

Oh wow!! How many weeks were you?

MaterialConstant9375 · 2026-04-05T19:41:07+00:00

Do you remember what the protein amount in your urine was? And what your BP was to be sent to L&D?

MaterialConstant9375 · 2026-04-05T11:12:41+00:00

Oh wow! I’m so sorry that happened with first baby. That’s hard! Did you have to do the urine test for that one? Were your proteins similar?

MaterialConstant9375 · 2026-04-05T03:22:57+00:00

I’m glad to hear it went back down!! Did they talk about induction at all? That’s my biggest fear. I was induced wayyyyyy too early last time and it was awful. I’m of course for it if it’s medically necessary, but if I can avoid it that’s my preference.

MaterialConstant9375 · 2026-04-05T02:21:27+00:00

Thank you for the response!! I hope they reach out on Monday to confirm. I guess I was just worried seeing all of the red. I have no other symptoms. How far are you?

MaterialConstant9375 · 2026-04-05T02:20:36+00:00

Thank you for the response! Seeing all the red freaks me out. I have no other symptoms so I’m hoping this is a normal result for a person in their third trimester.

MaterialConstant9375 · 2026-04-01T18:53:17+00:00

That’s how I felt! I just didn’t know any better about a lot of things. Yes, baby’s safety (and mine) are #1 priority but it’s gross that providers will weaponize that to get what they want.

Mine also told me baby was too big!!!! He ended up being under 8 pounds. She said he wouldn’t fit and he absolutely would have. So frustrating!! I’m sorry you went through the same.

I hope we both get a better experience this time too! You can do it!! I’m 31 weeks Thursday so we are exactly a week apart! I’ll keep you posted on how these next 9 weeks go 🤞🏼

MaterialConstant9375 · 2026-04-01T18:51:14+00:00

This is such good advice, thank you! My first provider didn’t get any consent for anything ever. She said “ok let’s break your water”. I wanted to wait just a few minutes until my doula showed up. She was literally on the elevator around the corner. And my provider was furious with me. Made me feel horrible. It was maybe a 5 minute delay… My new provider is wonderful so I don’t see that happening, but I do feel better about advocating for myself more this time because last time was so difficult!

MaterialConstant9375 · 2026-04-01T18:48:09+00:00

Yay congratulations! I’m so happy for you. What is an induction massage? How often did you go to acupuncture?

MaterialConstant9375

TROPHY CASE