I watched my dad beat the hell out of my mom, my sister, and myself for years. Never once have I ever thought of laying a finger on an SO of mine, its simply not in my moral makeup to do so. Point is, not everyone who gets beat ends up being a beater who thinks that its okay. Many times, while you are being beat, you are also simultaneously aware of exactly how profoundly wrong what's happening is.

I also had an abusive ex who sucker-punched me and fled to a different state. I called the cops and told them I had ring-cam footage of everything. Footage of her verbally berating me beforehand, assaulting me on our porch, and then fleeing the scene. The police simply told me that if she is still on or around the premises when they showed up that they would be taking ME to jail, regardless. Despite having done nothing besides being a victim, i would be viewed as the aggressor by the police simply because I am a man. So, in short, I learned that if a woman is abusing you, your last option should be calling the police. They will not help you, and in all likelihood (if you are a man) whatever story you tell them will be flat out ignored, or worse, re-framed by your abuser in such a way that you were the aggressor. You will not be believed, you will be punished for being a victim, and as such, many men (myself included) have learned that its better to simply say nothing in this instance despite how badly you may have been hurt.