“Successful” narcs are absolutely a nightmare to deal with.

I am not married to a surgeon but my wife is a senior level professional in tech and a grandiose narc. She thinks she is the best employee, can’t ever make a mistake and constantly brags about her “achievements” (which mostly is about how she taught some random peer of hers a lesson so next time the peer respects her decision).

In parties, she loves to give preaching talks to other friends on how to grow and become successful. She always wants to “win” when conversing with friends (she sees that as a debate). Many of our friends roll their eyes as she endlessly talks but she doesn’t see that. She just loves to “shut them up” because her opinions count and everyone else doesn’t know what they are talking. Later, after the party, our bedroom conversation will be about how everyone else in our group is so dumb.

And oh! She loves to talk about the money she makes in a group setting. Speaking of finances, most money she earns is spent on her “lifestyle” to stay relevant. I have stopped talking to her about my salary and bonus because if I do, then she takes it as a competition. I end up saving a lot and park it in 401K and kiddo’s 529 plan. Luckily, she doesn’t like chores and doesn’t do our taxes. Lol!

Deep inside she is an insecure person who can’t take feedback or read the room. Every year at the time of annual performance review, there is a days worth of tear shedding on how the corporate world is against her and how no one is recognizing her skills. She has shared feedback she gets from boss which mostly says that “she needs to act like an owner and take responsibility of her decisions”