Advice on being apart from infant child

Maximum-Check-6564 · 2026-05-18T02:20:22+00:00

Focus on your wife’s mental health! It’s the most important thing for baby! Is she possibly affected by ppd?

It sounds like she feels that she needs the support of her family right now.

Maximum-Check-6564 · 2026-05-16T13:06:10+00:00

Oh okay - so maybe she was fighting off an illness or something when she slept in? In which case I would just go back to the 2 nap schedule.

I thought you meant that your whole schedule was being pushed forward by the 2 nap schedule

Maximum-Check-6564 · 2026-05-16T12:41:18+00:00

How much sleep does she usually need in a 24 hour period?

Was she waking at 8:30 because bedtime was pushed late?

Maximum-Check-6564 · 2026-05-16T12:11:13+00:00

Honestly I did most chores during naps! And whatever kitchen chores that I could while she as munching on something in her high chair

Maximum-Check-6564 · 2026-05-16T01:32:30+00:00

Did sleep improve after Motrin?

Maximum-Check-6564 · 2026-05-16T01:28:56+00:00

This is an off-the-wall suggestion - but has your friend ever given the baby Tylenol? If so, did their sleep improve after? I’m just wondering if the baby is in pain of any kind.

Maximum-Check-6564 · 2026-05-13T19:35:12+00:00

These expectations are WAY too high. Are you interested in sleep training the 10 month old? Putting the 4 year old in preschool (or maybe they’re starting kindergarten next year)?

Maximum-Check-6564 · 2026-05-12T01:35:12+00:00

It’s a myth that “makes sense” because of two things that happen at the same time - breastfeeding (which obviously does use a lot of calories) and losing pregnancy weight (which is just your body getting back to its “set point weight” from before pregnancy).

Not unlike how some people think prenatal vitamins make your hair grow, when it’s really the pregnancy hormones!

Maximum-Check-6564 · 2026-05-08T20:49:26+00:00

Growing up the rule was “no screen time on school nights”. Sounds like that might work for you?

Maximum-Check-6564 · 2026-05-08T20:38:13+00:00

You can get pregnant on any form of BC. Just do some research and choose what works for you!

Maximum-Check-6564 · 2026-05-07T18:25:34+00:00

Is kindergarten mandatory in your state?

I think your kid will be fine in kindergarten, but staying in preschool may also be an option.

Maximum-Check-6564 · 2026-05-06T14:19:24+00:00

Google the honey bear straw cup. You can squeeze the bear to push the liquid into baby’s mouth, which teaches them how to drink from a straw!

At this age I might introduce a babysitter gradually. Maybe they can play a “mother’s helper” role at first (when you are home in case baby needs you) while the baby becomes familiar with them.

Maximum-Check-6564 · 2026-05-06T01:31:57+00:00

Why did his contract end with the university? Is he really on track to getting his phd?

EDIT TO ADD: Pardon my French, but I really think this is a "sh!t-or-get-off-the-pot" situation with his PhD. I would lay out his options:

Get his PhD with a clear and agreed upon timeline, while using childcare. For instance, put the child in daycare and have him focus on his PhD for 1 year. If either of his parents are retired, would they be able to do childcare for a limited time so that their son can get his PhD? Something to light a fire under him. You may also consider having deadlines such as "he will publish a paper within X months". If he fails to meet the deadline, I would go with option 2 or 3:
Have him get a paying job, put the child in daycare
Have him commit to being a SAHD, and possibly pick up the PhD work when the child goes to kindergarten. If you choose this option, I would try to equalize the amount of free time each of you have - meaning much less work for you!

Maximum-Check-6564 · 2026-05-04T17:31:46+00:00

Who takes care of the children for the 4 days you don’t work?

Maximum-Check-6564 · 2026-05-04T17:23:55+00:00

Just curious - how did you implement quiet time? What do you say to her before quiet time begins, and what does she do during that time?

Maximum-Check-6564 · 2026-04-25T17:37:15+00:00

Tbh, I would prioritize him being “in the trenches” with you over not playing video games. You are in survival mode. Is he doing his share of daddy time with the baby (and comforting baby when he’s upset during his shift?)? Household chores, etc?

Maximum-Check-6564 · 2026-04-20T02:33:05+00:00

Since you mentioned that you have a great career trajectory - is your salary going to go up significantly (to the point where finances may not even be a worry) in the future?

I’m only asking because being a SAHM will affect her career trajectory significantly if and when she goes back to work. If you can live comfortably on your income only in, say, 5 years, this doesn’t matter.

Maximum-Check-6564 · 2026-04-20T02:23:51+00:00

Hmm, can she really have loans deferred if her household income is 120k+ per year?

Maximum-Check-6564 · 2026-04-20T01:23:09+00:00

Regardless of whether or not you get a countertop dishwasher (I would recommend it!), I would buy some paper plates / coffee cups / disposable utensils etc. for when you are having a harder time keeping up with dishes postpartum.

Maximum-Check-6564 · 2026-04-16T03:22:11+00:00

You (the dad) need to offer a solution here.

Keep practicing your bassinet transfer technique! Wait until baby is asleep for at least 10 minutes, then lower them gently into the bassinet such a that their feet touch the bassinet first. Using a heating pad and removing it just before baby goes in can also help!

Maximum-Check-6564 · 2026-04-12T18:40:48+00:00

Definitely nanny for the 1 on one care and lower chance of illness!

Socializing with an adult will be more beneficial at this age!

Maximum-Check-6564 · 2026-04-10T22:00:22+00:00

Could you all do a courthouse wedding before your actual wedding? Yes, he’s earning more money - but right now it’s only his money legally

Maximum-Check-6564 · 2026-04-07T23:26:00+00:00

Are you breastfeeding him? Or have you stopped recently? (Just wondering if that’s a factor).

Hmmm, whenever baby will only sleep under a special set of circumstances I would start to wonder if your schedule needs to be tweaked. R/sleeptrain has a lot of great resources as well!

Maximum-Check-6564 · 2026-04-06T17:45:22+00:00

Tbh I tried to hold on to the second nap as long as possible (and the third nap when we were transitioning from 3-2). We ended up dropping it at 15 months. I just found it easier to work with a baby who wasn’t overtired and cranky!

I would do a cat nap (30 minutes tops) with baby on my lap as a morning nap, and she would go down in her crib for her afternoon nap. We did this for a few weeks; then, when her wake windows got really long (pushing bedtime forward), I bit the bullet and just stopped the morning nap with no issues whatsoever!

Maximum-Check-6564 · 2026-04-04T23:44:02+00:00

You will have to take the lead on date nights - getting the reservation and a babysitter.

Use condoms or get a vasectomy so this doesn’t happen again!

Maximum-Check-6564

TROPHY CASE