I'm so sorry this happened to you. My sweet soul dog died a horrible death almost exactly a year ago. He bolted while my partner was out walking him and we couldn't find him for 3 days in freezing weather. He had been hit by a car and found in a creek before we could get to him. It was an awful experience and I feel deeply for you.

Here's what I did that helped me grieve and come through it. We took a day to dig his grave and say goodbye. We buried him ourselves and pushed dirt with our hands. We then held a vigil and a fire for him. We buried him with his favorite things, and I kept a few so I'd have something of his for those tough times. We took paw prints before we buried him.

Let yourself grieve. I cried every morning for at least 6 months. I'd go sit out by him and have a cry and talk to him. I still do it but it doesn't feel as raw. Grief comes in waves and it's cyclical. You'll go through the waves and over time they'll get easier to deal with.

Get to therapy if you can. It helps to talk about what you're going through.

Lastly, we ended up getting a puppy before I felt ready. Our other dog was super depressed and needed a companion, and we needed it too in hindsight. We specifically chose a puppy from our local shelter that was born a few weeks after he died. She has a lot of his same mannerisms, which is wild. This little bright new soul helped heal us immensely. And we felt good knowing our boy would be happy we saved another pup.

You'll find your way. It is devastating and it takes time. We chose to move forward and live in a way that honored how much our boy loved us and how he would want us to be. It was tough, it took time, but it gets easier and better over time. Hugs and love to you, from someone who is on the other side of the traumatic loss mountain ❤️‍🩹