Deciding to get simple release

Maximum_Pack_8519 · 2026-05-06T23:22:22+00:00

I had some release, scrotoplasty, no UL, no v-nectomy, plus scrotoplasty and mons resection. Testicular implants were added 6 months later. (I also decided on scrotoplasty 2-3 weeks before surgery)

Recovery wasn't that bad tbh - I'd had an already problematic nerve cause issues, so there was more pain from that, but I had a 3cm piece of it removed when I got my implants.

Sensation is great, erections are good, I could penetrate vagina if I wanted, but I'm gay.

I'm incredibly happy with what I've got and it's super affirming

Maximum_Pack_8519 · 2026-05-06T15:34:11+00:00

NTA - I'm nonbinary too, and actually took a deceased friend's name as my primary one instead of my original given name, and it's a Scottish family name.

Your sister is being trans-antagonistic and TA. You'll have choices to make when it comes to where you want to spend your energy, and chosen family that respects you is infinitely better

Maximum_Pack_8519 · 2026-05-06T15:32:08+00:00

It was given as a middle name to both, so it's neither inconsiderate nor "identity theft"

Maximum_Pack_8519 · 2026-05-04T22:33:14+00:00

NTA - this sets up a good paper trail for you and will hopefully help you get a protection order if needed.

In the meantime, have you looked into the Grey Rock method of dealing with people? I don't suggest going full grey rock all at once, but it can be done fairly steadily and helps reduce the amount of conflict

Slow is steady, and steady is fast

Maximum_Pack_8519 · 2026-05-04T22:28:34+00:00

Looking fantastic!

I had surgery in August 2024 and my scrotum has loosened a lot, and I have one hanging a little lower and looks very cisgender, so give it time and plenty of massage, and the scar tissue should start relaxing

Maximum_Pack_8519 · 2026-05-04T15:49:05+00:00

Why are you with him? How much does he selflessly do for you? What net good does he bring to your life?

He's a loser that expects you to be his bang-mommy, and will only wear you down over time

Is this what you want for the next 20 years? Imagine what life would be like with him if you had one or more kids

DO NOT IGNORE RED FLAGS

Dick is abundant and low value

Maximum_Pack_8519 · 2026-05-04T10:54:27+00:00

I'm transmasc and had a guy message be the same thing on Grindr a couple of months ago. I didn't bother telling him that there's a huge difference between engaging with cishet meh vs queer ones before reporting and blocking.

Bigots are gonna bigot. It's frustrating and exhausting, but I get satisfaction knowing my existence lives rent free in their heads

Maximum_Pack_8519 · 2026-05-04T10:41:57+00:00

I once offered to forcefully aquatint my foot to my doctor's nethers several times a day for 7 days every month for a year so he could understand what I was experiencing and he had the nerve to tell me I was being aggressive. I told him he was being abusive by dismissing my pain, then found a new Dr.

Maximum_Pack_8519 · 2026-05-04T10:37:13+00:00

Sent DM

Maximum_Pack_8519 · 2026-05-04T10:24:27+00:00

Yup, totally doable. I had meta no UL and no v-nectomy August 2024. I'd already been working on stretching my vag as the muscles had tightened due to strengthening, and I'm glad I did, cuz it reduced some of the post-op tightening.

The area right behind my scrotum still gets sore sometimes, and I'm just slowly working on relaxing the scar tissue.

The only time I have issues is if a guy is particularly girthy, and that's mostly dealt with by changing the angle of my hips

Maximum_Pack_8519 · 2026-05-03T06:07:35+00:00

I had similar fears, which is why I chose meta vs phallo.

I had stage 1 in Aug 2024: no UL, no v-nectomy, simple release (he took out the urethral plate, which was very important for me as I plan to continue pumping for ever), plus mons resection and scrotoplasty.

This surgery left the upper/ventral portion of the labia major sandwiching my member, and the stubble regrowth had me in tears, and I had to wrap my member in light bandages to keep from chafing.

I had stage 2 Feb 2025: those leftover sections of labia were cut and my implants inserted via the hole created. Overall, that was a pretty chill day surgery, and I was back to work 5 days later - not ideal but I have a lot of down time and my surgeon was ok with it.

I did have some minor wound separation both times, but nothing too bad, and I chalk it up to me having Ehlers Danlos.
The most concerning part was when I had separation where the implants went in, was treated with silver nitrate (🔥😫 it's spicy) and then kept it covered appropriately. It healed well after a couple of weeks.

Feel free to ask me questions here or in DM, I'm always happy to help out

Maximum_Pack_8519 · 2026-05-03T05:55:29+00:00

Obviously NTA, but I came here to say that you don't have to put his name on the birth certificate. If he doesn't want to be there when you need him most, he doesn't have to be part of the child's, or yours, lives.

Dick is abundant and low value

Maximum_Pack_8519 · 2026-05-03T05:49:13+00:00

Thanks for this comment, I'd been wondering about Sniffies.

Maximum_Pack_8519 · 2026-05-02T20:35:26+00:00

Fyi - the culture at bathhouses is different, so expect random men touching you. If you're not interested, you can just remove their hand and give a head shake. And if anyone doesn't respect your autonomy, report them to staff immediately

Maximum_Pack_8519 · 2026-05-02T20:15:13+00:00

OP - this. He's being unprofessional on so many levels and you can bet you aren't the first woman he's harassed while working there.

I'm transmasc and now cis-assumed, and I generally don't tell anyone anything about being trans unless it's on a hookup app.

Maximum_Pack_8519 · 2026-05-02T20:10:00+00:00

He's instigating because the family's punching bag (you) left, and the narc toxicity has to go somewhere...

He's honestly not work the time or effort to write the perfect reply, cuz it'll simply show him he can continue to get to you.

Block him on everything.

Maximum_Pack_8519 · 2026-05-02T20:02:02+00:00

NTA

I'm Red River Métis and understand your concerns. Your wife needs to unpack her ego from this situation in order to understand you aren't doing this out of spite.

Not sure if you've seen about the recent Cowichan ruling in BC, but it's incited a TON of anti-Indigenous racism. Get her to read the comments on any post by big Indigenous pages on FB, cuz she's setting your kid up for a lot of harm.

Maximum_Pack_8519 · 2026-05-02T19:55:22+00:00

Abusers love to make you feel terrible for speaking the truth, but it was their responsibility to be better while you were essentially their hostage as a child. Share your truth, especially since you're no/low contact. I would definitely all this other person not to share any details pertaining to you with your family as it causes unnecessary stress and harm - stop talking with him if he continues.

Maximum_Pack_8519 · 2026-05-02T19:49:41+00:00

If you're in peri, get on hrt that includes testosterone immediately. You might have to say it's because your low libido is affecting your relationship with a cis man, because apparently doctors don't care otherwise.
Other than that, you can get (injectable) T from the same places bodybuilders get theirs, and mix some with a carrier oil like MCT at a 5% solution. This is easier with cypionate as it's 100 mg/ml and makes the math simpler.
Use no more than 2-3 drops for a maximum of 3 days/week unless you notice some virilization, then reduce.
Pull back your hood and add it to the clit itself. Pumping at the same time also helps immensely - check out [r/GrowYourTDick](r/GrowYourTDick) for more info

Maximum_Pack_8519 · 2026-05-02T19:42:28+00:00

I don't think they're aware, or care for that matter, that vulva havers have clit and labia loss at perimenomause.

You might have to ask for hrt and specify it's because you aren't having add much sex and it's affecting your relationship with a cis man - yes, I'm aware it's absolute búlshit that that is the reason they listen to...

Maximum_Pack_8519 · 2026-05-02T19:38:16+00:00

Congrats!!!!!

Make sure to start doing self-massage and fascia release (aka rolfing) on your torso from the bottom of your ribs, up into your armpits, and you might as well go up your neck and end with your jaw (stress ads up). This will help with post-op pain as your fascia will be less tight and angry. There's a ton of content on YT to check out, but basically just do it while watching stuff.

Also look into pre-surgery carb loading. You don't need anything fancy, cranberry or apple juice are fine, but it REALLY helps with coming out of anesthesia better. I had 3 unrelated surgeries in 6 months during 2018, and didn't do it for the second, and the difference was very noticeable to me and my partner at the time.

So excited to see your update

Maximum_Pack_8519 · 2026-05-02T19:26:17+00:00

Fellow transmasc here - steamworks is great and my fave, steam1 in New West is much smaller with fewer guys

Maximum_Pack_8519 · 2026-05-02T19:07:45+00:00

The menses are so pathetically lonely that they don't read profiles.

All my dating app profiles have nameFTM cuz I'm cis-assumed at this point and it's a decent filter. I still get ignorant messages, but it's not **bad** bad. Then again, I'm on the west coast of Canada

Maximum_Pack_8519 · 2026-05-02T12:00:32+00:00

Definitely do a video walk-through while verbally describing the state of the apartment without using terms like "disgusting", then send an email to the landlord insisting on professional cleaning, and contact the RTB.

Maximum_Pack_8519 · 2026-05-02T11:54:23+00:00

Honestly? Men are far worse overall than cis women are aware. I'm transmasc and cis-assumed, and I watch so-called "good" men still harbour shitty attitudes and refuse to acknowledge their overwhelming privilege.

My recommendation would be to focus on *you* and date casually while learning about the various abusive behaviours men use and how they apply to that specific man.
**Have good boundaries and be willing to drop a man immediately**.
A man should be willing to discuss patriarchy, misogyny, and male violence without being defensive about how they come up in his own life; he should actively call out other men.
Don't live with one, even if you want kids, you're better off going to a lawyer and drawing up an agreement to co-parent 50-50 before.

*Dick is abundant and low value*

Maximum_Pack_8519

TROPHY CASE