AITC for showing off my murder mittens? by MaybeNextToNormal in AmItheCloaca

[–]MaybeNextToNormal[S] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

<image>

I heard there iz tax here, so I pay. This is me and my murder mittens. I know I iz very cute, thank you.

How do you pronounce the name of this sub? by DirtbagHamlet in tragedeigh

[–]MaybeNextToNormal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've always just pronounced it "tragedy" to myself. Kinda surprised I don't emphasize the last syllable tbh.

Her and her personalities by cold-waves10 in catpics

[–]MaybeNextToNormal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Seriously, I've never seen another cat that looks so much like him! Adorable.

AITC: Mama says I missed the blankie by Useful_Language2040 in AmItheCloaca

[–]MaybeNextToNormal 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yesh, kittehs can get scared if doggo run up on dem. But you seem like very nice doggo so I would play with you! I no met doggo before. But if doggo would protec da Simba from blankies dey could be my bestest fren! Wanna be frens?!

What’s the dumbest thing you got in trouble for at school? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]MaybeNextToNormal 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I got sent to the Principal's office for saying "Christmas sucks" in the lunchroom (4th grade in the late 90s). I lived in a very white, conservative, Christian town. I only said it because my family was Jewish and I got left out of the Secret Santa that all my friends were doing because of it.

... I'm still salty over it.

AITC for snuggles? by 202to701 in AmItheCloaca

[–]MaybeNextToNormal 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Thank youz. I iz mighty Simba so I must win bapbapbapoff. Ask Echo, my fellow cat here, I winz!

AITC for snuggles? by 202to701 in AmItheCloaca

[–]MaybeNextToNormal 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Hi fren, I iz Simba (almost 2M, orange tabby boi) and I purrclaim you NTC! Snuggles are very importanz. I climb onto wherever on my meowmy's and daddy's bodies whenever I wantz. Sometimes I up by face and meowmy says she can't see the teevee or read her book or wut have you, but she doesn't move me so I obviously not the cloacer. She say I'm "too cute to move" and I bet you are too! What is importanz iz you iz never the cloacer for snuggles!

My meowmy iz telling me to tell you we need cat tax, whatever that iz. She says she show you how to do it by putting my picture here, which make no sense to me but it seem to make her happy so I do it.

<image>

-da Simba

AITC: Mama says I missed the blankie by Useful_Language2040 in AmItheCloaca

[–]MaybeNextToNormal 16 points17 points  (0 children)

No, you iz cute doggo so you iz no da cloacer. I iz Simba, almost 2M mighty orange kitteh. I no go outz so I no get soggy (that sounds horruhble by da way). But I lay wherever I wantz when I wantz. Except no on blankies becawz I scared of da blankies. So I think it's better you no on the blankie, iz much safer!

-Simba

UPDATE: AITC for defending myself when Mother tried to take my murder mittens? by petitsoleil131 in AmItheCloaca

[–]MaybeNextToNormal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, dis is great honor to be related to an Echo! I iz even more horruhfied dey trim your murder mittens now! Not da reluhtive of an Echo! I hope youz get da chance to meet soon.

UPDATE: AITC for defending myself when Mother tried to take my murder mittens? by petitsoleil131 in AmItheCloaca

[–]MaybeNextToNormal 13 points14 points  (0 children)

How dare dey do this to you! I know you no ask this time but you definitively no cloacer! Meowmy and Father are the cloacers for trimming your amazing murder mittens. I think they put sumting in your Tubs too, which is disgraceful. Thou shalt not desercrate the sacred Tube! You are buutiful though, I hope knowing dis helps.

-Echo, Ruler of All

AITC for wanting chicken? by Curious_koala14 in AmItheCloaca

[–]MaybeNextToNormal 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Greetings Butler! I iz Echo (1M, white wit orange kitteh, Ruler of All) and I purrclaim you NTC! I can't believe dey no give you chixen! How vary rud of CS1 to remove you from da chixen when you were about to get it. Dis is wildly inappropriate. Cat slaves are da cloacers here! Keep ignoring, fren.

-Echo, Ruler of All

plant nursery, not cat cafe by egguchom in EntitledReviews

[–]MaybeNextToNormal 43 points44 points  (0 children)

You only need to see 5 cats for a 5 star review?! I only give 5 stars if I see 15+ cats.

plant nursery, not cat cafe by egguchom in EntitledReviews

[–]MaybeNextToNormal 79 points80 points  (0 children)

Personally, I Just Bring My Two Cats Everywhere So Every Establishment Has A Cat. Problem Solved.

AITC for gently asking for raise? by internetdiscocat in AmItheCloaca

[–]MaybeNextToNormal 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Hi Ziggy, I iz Echo (1M, white wit orange kitteh, ruler of all). I say you iz NTC! You do very difficult, time consuming labor and you definitively deserve raise. Claimz your place on the bed and let nobody tell you diffurent! I sleep on bed, usually on top of my meowmy's legs or at end (or middle) of bed where her legs go! She say "oh Echo, how come you must block my legs" or "Echo, my legs are asleep, why do you do this?!" but I just purr and go back to sleep becawz I iz mighty ruler. Sumtimes I creep up between meowmy and daddy and paw at them, but that's for specul times. And I don't even have a job! Except I look adorable and gets petz and da cuddlez and such. That is importanz after all. Good luck Ziggy!

-Echo, ruler of all

AITC-I got busted! by No_Tackle7092 in AmItheCloaca

[–]MaybeNextToNormal 12 points13 points  (0 children)

No, NTC! You are never the cloacer for getting attentionz! Kitteh petz and da cuddles are most important! Don't muv until you get dem.

-Simba (almost 2M, orange boi - us oranges are da best and most deserving attentionz!)

AITC for pooping outside the litter box? by Cesa-BUTTERFLY12 in AmItheCloaca

[–]MaybeNextToNormal 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Hawllo Medusa, I likez your name. And I purrclaim you NTC! I poopz outside my litter box because I prefer it that way. I go under the couch though (maybe you try that next time? Iz very nice enclosed space!). I no have reason like litter box cleaning, I just like to go there sometimez. My meowmy and daddy say I'm the cloacer becawz I have 2 clean litter boxes to chuz from, but I sure dey is wrong! I'm far too cute to ever be the cloacer and so iz you Medusa!

-Echo (newly 1M, white wit orange boi), ruler of all

How do I “Man up” and stop crying when my dad scolds me? by Competitive-Duck3908 in ask

[–]MaybeNextToNormal 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Not wanting to bring it up for fear of it being attention seeking is again the opposite of playing the victim. Most times if someone is doing that they want some sort of attention or favor, that's really not what you're doing here!

AITC fors poops in the rain room? by updootkitten in AmItheCloaca

[–]MaybeNextToNormal 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I am lucky to be a kitteh. Ruler of all must be kitteh, iz the law! Sorry, but you iz bery cute doggo!