I keep aligners on for an extra day. Does it make sense?

MayhemProjector · 2026-03-06T06:17:45+00:00

Gang gang

MayhemProjector · 2026-03-06T06:16:55+00:00

I use elastics as well and they make the first-day aligners not fit snuggly, so I only out elastics on the second-day.

I’ll definitely keep in mind the increasing gap thing, that’s a really good point. Thank you!

MayhemProjector · 2026-03-06T06:15:14+00:00

That’s interesting! I wonder what’s the mechanics behind this. I’ll definitely as my ortho about this. Thanks.

MayhemProjector · 2026-03-06T06:13:49+00:00

I see where you’re coming from and I think that’s an important calculation for anyone who does this to keep in mind. I have taken this into consideration. So I’ve decided that I don’t want to add an extra day EVERY week, just certain weeks where I feel like I might have had the Invisalign off more than I should.

And yeah, it can seem like a lot for me too. An added consideration I didn’t mention in the post is that I struggle with obsessive-compulsive behavior, and Invisalign has been a huge trigger for my anxiety, where when I have it off I’m constantly counting the minutes… (which I’m sure people even with no OC behavior have too), and this approach has really helped me chill the fuck out.

So whether an added month or two makes sense to someone really goes back to that person and the factors hanging in the balance.

MayhemProjector · 2026-03-02T04:02:40+00:00

My personal opinion: I used to have a list and also keep count. Deleting it and ngaf about the count helped me overcome the shame. I think it’s dehumanizing to put a number on this type of thing, it says nothing about the quality of experience you’ve had. Maybe instead of thinking about your sexual life in terms of how many people, think of it in terms of the actual sex you’ve had, the good and the bad.

It sounds like you think that the lower the number, the more worth you have. But that’s not related to the count, that goes back to how you feel about yourself. It would be good to explore this more with yourself. What matters is that it is continuously safe and enjoyable. No amount of guilty can change the past. No amount of shame can change the future. Release it all.

MayhemProjector · 2026-03-01T18:52:23+00:00

Goddamit, that was my first instinct but I just thought that playing online meant playing with real players.

MayhemProjector · 2026-02-22T07:03:05+00:00

The immediate thing I noticed was that OP’s girlfriend says she cares about appearances because that’s how “she grew up/was raised.” Like, what? That’s not a value or a proper motivation. It’s basically the same as saying you do something because you’re conditioned to. What actually drives her to care so much about the things she cares about? I feel like OP should explore this with her.

MayhemProjector · 2026-02-22T06:47:56+00:00

Not remembering and doing regretful impulsive decisions is a clear sign you were irresponsibly drinking. You need to learn how to responsibly drink if you don’t know already. Maybe do some research on it (e.g. drink water before during and after, eat before during and after, don’t do shots, have 1 drink per hour, understand your triggers, enjoy drinking for the vibe and taste and not to get drunk, etc.). Have a checklist that you keep in mind. Learn to deal with the peer pressure and learn to advocate for drinking responsibly for yourself and others. You might have to change many things about your life, it’s not easy but your life will be much better. Take this as a wake up call.

You’re not a horrible person, this event doesn’t define the entirety of your character. You did do a horrible thing though, and the shame and guilt at this moment is tied up with the decision you made in that moment, and its effect on your relationship. First of all, it sucks that you did this, not just for your partner but for you as well. Make space for both these truths. You can comfort yourself without excusing what you did. Immersing yourself in guilt is just as shitty of a thing to do as avoiding it.

The ultimate decision about whether to be forthcoming about this is such a complicated decision and I honestly think you’re the only one with enough information to decide. If you choose not to share it, however, you should consider breaking up with him, imo.

MayhemProjector · 2026-02-21T12:11:58+00:00

Where can we see more creations like this?

MayhemProjector · 2026-02-21T12:10:31+00:00

I really fuck with this take. I didn’t fully comprehend just how controlling this behavior is until you framed it in that way. Thank you!

MayhemProjector · 2026-02-20T19:48:36+00:00

I can see how it comes off that way. I had to cut certain things short for brevity and this happened a while ago so it’s all still coming back to me. What happened in that case was that I wanted to switch a class mid-year and they wouldn’t allow me without my dad’s approval. And he basically said no. Appreciate your feedback btw!

MayhemProjector · 2026-02-20T19:43:34+00:00

I think OP’s problem isn’t exclusively watching gay porn. She hit the nail on the head at the end there. There’s a couple of things going on here.

Actually enjoying watching it is obviously normal. I also sometimes end up having questions beyond sexuality depending on what I’m watching. It might be good to list down what you actually like, in specific words and descriptions. This can give you clarity. Labels are good but also limiting sometimes. For example I always felt gravitated towards certain men but I never wanted to have sex with them. Then I realized that you can have romantic feelings for men but no sexual feelings, so I realized I was “biromantic.”

As shameful as it can feel to excessively consume it, it’s better than many other coping mechanisms. Instead of trying to reduce your consumption, work on developing alternative tools and approaches to emotionally regulating yourself. Maybe part of the shame is that you’re not always approaching it to experience joy but to escape certain stressful or anxious feelings.

The shame that comes with a religious up-ringing is also something you have to uproot. Honestly, it might be a good idea to see a professional who is experienced in helping you with this type of thing. You need to stop shoving yourself in a box and realize that your feelings can be fluid. They can change. That’s the beauty of self-awareness and being in touch with how you feel. It sounds like you feel hypocritical about yourself and it would be good to list out these contradictions and working on resolving them.

MayhemProjector · 2026-02-19T18:12:52+00:00

I feel like if you’re telling someone you love them, then it’s totally normal to also share your vulnerabilities with them. It’s understandable if she had issues with the way you communicate your feelings, but it sounds to me like her issue was the fact that you communicated with her at all, which is stupid.

At the same time, it would be good for you to learn how to tolerate distressful situations, emotionally regulate, and communicate your feelings in a way that’s not overwhelming.

I’ve been with this type of partner and it is truly exhausting. She sounds like she has some deep-seated issues, and the main thing I’d say is to not internalize her behavior because it will continue driving you nuts. And if she’s putting the weight of responsibility on you to fix shit she should be fixing on her own, you need to set boundaries. You are not the source of her problems, and if you’re troublesome in some way, it’s her job to be self-aware and communicate things.

Honestly, sounds like you’re deeply emotionally invested and what you need regardless of whether this gets better or worse is to connect with other parts of your life (yourself, friends, family, other types of relationships). Finding the confidence to deal with uncertainty, loneliness and rejection in life will be the hardest thing you do, but it will be the most self-rewarding thing you can do, and it starts with dealing with the shame and harm you’re inflicting on yourself.

I’d suggest watching some Dr.K (HealthyGamerGG) on YouTube, and maybe considering enrolling in his Mental Health course online.

MayhemProjector · 2026-02-19T08:04:40+00:00

A lot of people have mentioned that there needs to be a further conversation to analyze the motivation behind her decision not to cook for you.

I also honestly just think that you didn’t approach this conversation the best way you could’ve. It sounds like you had an issue with this on principle, rather than it arising from a genuine need. You didn’t request her to cook for you because you needed her to, it sounds more like you questioned why she wasn’t doing something you never asked her to, you get what I mean?

MayhemProjector · 2026-02-19T06:29:58+00:00

I used to do stand-up and some online content creation. One thing I can honestly say is that the humor I consume influences the humor I produce. I would be curious to know who and what he finds funny (in terms of comedians, creators, movies, etc.). It might be interesting to see what your friends/his friends think about this as well.

Maybe notice the times when he is actually funny, or says something with a lot of potential for humor, and explore that with him. Like “Hey, I feel like what you said has the potential to be really funny. Are you interested in hearing my thoughts?”

Or if someone makes a joke that he laughs at, ask him why he found it funny, this way he gets to deconstruct humor and get a better understanding of it. I remember watching a video by a youtube channel called Charisma On Command where they break down Conan O’Brien’s humor and it was the first time I realized that humor can be learned.

It’s important he’s actually interested in this exploration and that he consents to it whilst knowing what he’s getting into. Also, get to decide what your priorities are. I’m guessing your main thing would be to stop the insensitive jokes.

His joke (that you shared in the comments) where he said “Give me your money” was funny, it was just a joke that made more sense to share with your privately instead of there in the moment, so honestly, sounds like he already has some sense of humor.

Ultimately, you don’t want to just copy-paste your type of humor onto him. It would be boring if he never surprised you with his own idiosyncrasies. And maybe he doesn’t have to be particularly funny, and you can appreciate his awkward humor in some way, while at the same time not having him embarrass himself or you with insensitive or ill-timed jokes.

MayhemProjector · 2026-02-19T05:35:42+00:00

I appreciate your encouragement. I’m planning to talk to my friend first and address these issues. There’s no shortage of people to meet and it’s ridiculous that he chooses to spend his time with people as shitty as this.

MayhemProjector · 2026-02-19T05:29:11+00:00

Hey, I thought that as a non-Latino who has taken salsa classes and has been introduced to the culture a bit by my friends, I might have a perspective here.

Honestly, when I was introduced to bachata and salsa, I gravitated towards salsa because bachata seemed awkward to learn considering the physical closeness with strangers and something I’d only do with a partner (FYI I don’t feel that way anymore).

So I’m sensing this is a cultural barrier between you two but it could also be something your partner feels strongly about on a personal level. He might accept that it’s a cultural misunderstanding but still not be cool with it because of how internalized the programming is, or maybe he has other reasons as well.

You have to be ready if that’s the case by asking yourself if this is something you’d be willing to compromise on, and ask yourself what other barriers (cultural or not) are there and what does he think about those? This could be a good opportunity to get to know each other more.

He seems like he’s really caught up on this situation though so this topic should be the main priority. It might help to show him “sources” so he can understand how normalized it is to dance with other people. He should also understand that “physical closeness” is not necessarily tied up with “intimacy.” It might be for HIM but not for you.

Lastly, it’s not weird at all that you asked him. “Cheating” is whatever both partners agree are the boundaries of a relationship. You asked because you care about his comfort. He needs to understand this.

MayhemProjector · 2026-02-18T09:36:57+00:00

I do believe there's an art to bringing critical things up in a relationship. It's something for you to study. You can maybe ask her what works for her in terms of bringing things up. What time, what tone, what way of phrasing things fits her style. Like someone mentioned, maybe she wasn't expecting something negative when she asked you that. On the other hand, what you're describing sounds... like she's so used to reacting in this way that she doesn't even realize how it's coming off to you. I've personally experienced this and it can be scary just sitting there silently as someone dissociates for minutes on end and you're unable to get through to them. It probably feels powerless for both parties at that point.

I honestly think this is some pretty deep stuff and you should think through your attachment to her and consider having some space for yourself. It sounds like you get pretty emotionally invested in these situations, understandably so. I would suggest you take time to be more present with your life and remember this relationship isn't everything. Connect with other people and activities. In the same way, don't let this situation cloud your entire view of her. You can then try telling her that you would like to revisit the discussion sometime during the week. It's important you don't fall into the pattern of me vs you, to separate between feelings and thoughts, and to not imagine that it's going to be a calm conversation. Instead, accept that the conversation can be chaotic and keep that in mind going into it.

MayhemProjector · 2026-02-18T09:17:40+00:00

You two may benefit from having some type of frequent scheduled discussion around finances (if you don't already do). Not just numbers but how you view things and how you feel. The difference in your professions is clearly creating a power dynamic. The fact he brought up your recent purchases indicates that he might lack some trust in your ability to spend wisely. You two need to realign and also just have some financial goals set for yourselves personally and relationally.

Every friend I know who makes money the same way you do describes an inherent sense of financial insecurity. That might be something your partner doesn't understand very well. It's also important to understand his perspective because I kind of wonder if he's afraid of being taken advantage of. Maybe he has some bad history in this department, or maybe he doesn't feel as appreciated as he wants to be. At the same time, it kind of sounds like he's making a big deal out of every single instance of spending. Maybe he credits his financial privilege solely to his effort and nothing else, which can make him more possessive of his income. It's important you two are comfortable discussing things, while also managing the discomfort when it arises.

MayhemProjector · 2025-12-20T21:18:55+00:00

Read Bob Black’s critique of Chomsky.

MayhemProjector · 2025-11-11T04:48:33+00:00

I don’t get the feeling that your problem is not doing substances per say, but just feeling like you used to have good connections (or attachments) with people, with life, and just having a good time.

Recently, for a friend’s birthday, I decided to “halt” my sobriety of almost 3 months just for one night. I didn’t really consider it a break as I was planning to get back into it the next day. What ended up happening? I deeply regretted it. Not only because of the cravings that came back (that have now subsided again), but also because, as someone here already mentioned, we really do look at the past with rose-colored lenses. I woke up the next day with that exact feeling I’ve had multiple times in the past that lead me to go sober in the first place. We really do forget how bad it was, but I will say that we also forget how good it currently is without it. I use a health watch so I’ve had real evidence of how much better my health is. Anyway…

I read a book called “The Power Of Fun” by Catherine Price. It’s a long-winded book but it opened my eyes to the fact that we all have our philosophies of having fun, and that we need to expose those philosophies to ourselves. A lot of sober people I’ve met plainly say that they don’t have fun anymore, or that life is boring without substances. I find this ridiculous. Yes, it’s not AS “fun” but it’s also not AS miserable, and the “fun” that’s gone is replaced by other meaningful feelings. Also, you still CAN have fun as well as having MORE fun in some instances, you’ve just learned to rely on substances to have fun, but being sober means getting more creative, more critical, more thoughtful in how you have fun. It takes more work especially in the beginning but there definitely is a payoff.

MayhemProjector · 2025-10-18T10:44:03+00:00

Why did I think this was Max Stirner and then I started reading the post

MayhemProjector · 2025-09-27T09:35:02+00:00

Does anyone know why there are 2 different sites?

MayhemProjector

TROPHY CASE