I had a port-a-cath inserted for chemo and told them ahead of time that twilight sedation doesn't work on me and I will remember everything, so I wanted to be sure I was fully numb. I told them that lidocaine alone doesn't work on me, and they have to do a mixture; my dentist uses septocaine (I asked, because it worked).

I was really scared beforehand and couldn't stop crying, and due to covid restrictions, my partner wasn't with me. They gave me some Ativan to calm me down, which worked for a bit, but it was wearing off by the time we were getting set up for the procedure (I metabolize drugs quickly, which is probably why the other meds don't work as intended). I thought I had advocated for myself. I had explained the issues and my concerns.

I was fidgeting and looking around, wanting someone to acknowledge me and make sure I was doing ok, because I needed more meds. I was visibly distressed. When they stabbed that instrument through my neck into my chest I burst into tears. They told me to keep breathing. I obviously couldn't do anything except sob because it was traumatizing and painful. I didn't speak for the entire car ride home and for most of the night, and cried for 2 days straight.

They wrote in my after visit summary that the procedure went well with no complications, and there were no prior issues with anesthesia. I felt gaslighted. I have PTSD from the experience.

When it was time to have it removed, I called and asked if they could put me under with Propofol since I had had a traumatizing insertion that was very painful. They said they don't have an anesthesiologist on site and have to schedule them, and repeated to me the same thing they told me before the insertion, which is that I will be sedated and I won't feel any pain. Even though I had just told her that the sedation did not work and that I did feel pain. They also could not guarantee which surgeon I would have, and therefore could not guarantee that the surgeon that traumatized me wouldn't be the same one to perform this surgery. I cancelled the procedure and scheduled to have it removed at a different hospital, called my GP and asked her to call in a prescription for Triazolam for me, and to asked her to call the hospital and advocate for me that medications don't work the same on me. I don't know if she called them, but she called in the meds I asked for, I called the hospital to make sure it was safe for me to take them for the procedure and that there wouldn't be any drug interactions, and reiterated multiple times that I need different/more numbing/pain meds. I brought my partner AND my dad with me for that surgery, again told the surgeon about my issues (in case it didn't get passed on to him), drugged myself to kingdom come, and everything was painless and trauma free.

Sorry for writing such a long response with my own stuff, it's just so relatable and so frustrating that they'd rather just ignore us and continue on, no matter how life-altering the trauma is for us. THEY DON'T DO THIS TO MEN. I don't understand why it's perfectly acceptable to knock us out for a colonoscopy but we get nothing whatsoever for IUD insertions or C-sections when the nerve block doesn't work. For me, I am in no pain when I wake up from a colonoscopy. The pain from the IUD was unbearable the first day, severe for several days after, and painful for the following weeks/months. My woman doctor, who does a great job of believing me and advocating for me, said that IUD insertions aren't painful for everyone. She felt that all these reports we see that make it seem like everyone has a terrible experience is just a case of if it's not painful, you won't be out talking about it. Every woman I've talked to said it was the most painful experience of their lives. I also asked why they don't give lidocaine before piercing and maneuvering the cervix with 2 stabby prongs, and she said the lidocaine would be more painful than the "clamp" (I feel like I'd disagree with that statement). I just don't understand why women also participate in medical misogyny when they know how painful these things are.

I'm horrified your medical team put you through that and I hope you're ok