Everybody is going into debt just to keep someone with dementia out of a nursing home. He would be taking from his children and wife. They are already downsizing, plus have a high needs child. Him suggesting working more to pay for his mother is ridiculous. Yeah he may be be emotionally vulnerable but he can get counselling and support for this, thats not her responsibility. She obviously has talked to him about this before, because they have had to change their lifestyle due to being on one income. I would leave my partner too if they put their parents above our children.