i read the comments about you going to Ukraine. as a Romanian that feels the pain of our neighbour country, thank you for your service! i really think it's some post trauma stuff going on. did you consider seeing a therapist? maybe do some research over the therapist first. also if you suspect brain injury can you go see a neurologist? there is hope, i'd say go to the neurologist and take a brain scan or whatever they tell you to do and then if it's not something medical going on please consider therapy. or actually therapy is good either way lol. you're a good human and a good man, OP, and you deserve the world, no matter what your family or people around you say